Why it's okay to unfriend, or it's another day ending in "Y" by Felice Stevens

Social media is an odd animal. Some one connects with you through a computer and not really knowing you, still feels the need to tell you what to say, how to say it and why. They believe being a friend on FB gives them the right to say whatever they want to you.

We are told that to have a lot of "friends" on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram is a sign you've "hit the big time." That you've "made it."
Well, I'm here to say in my opinion that's a big crock of nothing.

Lets see why.
I get friend requests all the time. Of course being the savvy FB user, that means I check their profile. Do they have hate speech on there? Is there something that sends up a red flag to me? If so,  delete. But sometimes there are people who are friends with other of my FB friends and I'm sad to say I don't recognize who those "friends" are. Why are we friends? I never hear from these people, ever. Why did they want to be friends with me, or me them?

We tend to friend authors and readers, to become acquainted with the community. We believe we all share something in common—a love for the books we are reading. Unfortunately, that's not the case. ALL genres, not just MM romance have infighting. (Really. Can you believe  it?) It's merely a sign of the growing pains of a community that is feeling and finding it's way.

BUT, if you are friends with people, and then you see them behaving badly...really badly on FB, what do you do? Ignore them? Say something? Speak to them? Or simply unfriend?

It used to be that I would usually ignore or maybe unfollow the person. Out of sight, out of mind. But for the past few months, I've read some posts and comments from authors and other people in the genre that have gone beyond merely annoying me. Flies annoy me, but I can swat them away and they're forgotten. These posts have been cruel, hurtful and horribly offensive. I can't unsee. I don't forget. 

Few things will cause me to unfriend automatically. If you are an anti-semite or a racist, you're gone. If you advocate violence against children, you're out. Think it's okay to hurt/kill animals? Goodbye. And as a victim of an attempted sexual assault, I will boot you if you speak positively about rape.


Also, if you say nasty, mean and horrible things about my friends, bye bye. I keep my friends close. They mean the world to me, so if you hurt them, you hurt me. 

I don't care if it's three or thirty or three hundred people, if you prove yourself to be a person I wouldn't have wanted to introduce to my parents or be around my kids I don't need you as a FB friend. 

So I've started unfriending people. And trust me, I've been unfriended by people and have no idea why. (And a few I do and it's fine. Really.) But it's their choice. Like my timeline is my choice. It's freeing. I don't want to have to get angry every time I go online. 

Having a lot of friends on social media looks good on paper, but in reality it can be more stress than it's worth. It's time to take back our social media presence and concentrate on the people worth our time. Quality, not quantity should count.

What do you think?

Have a great weekend!