Unplanned Obsolescence

(A skewed salute for Father’s Day)

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In America, this Sunday is Father’s Day, that day when we celebrate the patriarchal foundation of our family by giving him more socks. (“Patriarchal” is an ancient Latin word, loosely translated as “arched head,” which describes that universal look Dads make when you come home past curfew and blame it on Russian collusion.)

For some reason, Dads apparently go through socks (and ties) faster than Bill Clinton’s pizza delivery speed dial. And it’s...