Rituals for the Non-Religious

paper butterfliesFor Spiritual Journey Thursday we are gathering at Violet Nesdoly's blog to talk about how we celebrate special days.

I really love this topic because it has been an important consideration during our long years of parenting without being church-goers.

A regular religious practice has so much built-in ritual (as I recall from my Episcopal upbringing), so when a family chooses not to participate in a church community, the responsibility for creating ritual falls to the parents.


Christmas tree quiltIt was so important to me to provide rituals for our children! These included daily rituals like reading together and family dinner, and holiday rituals like fishing on Easter and going to the Christmas tree farm to cut a tree and waking the birthday boy on his birthday by singing the birthday song and holding a lit candle stuck in his favorite breakfast snack. My heart always swells when any of our boys recall with fondness any of these special things.

These days, as the empty nest looms, Paul and I are more focused on  the rituals that are just ours. We've had a weekly date night for the past 28 years. These days we eat lunch together almost every day. We walk our country road. We have a Saturday lunch spot and a Sunday afternoon nap-date. These feed me, and our relationship.

sky/trees reflected in the lakeAnd of course I have my personal daily rituals as well -- I have reading/devotionals each morning. Meditation. I drink my veggie juice. A couple of hours writing. Cello. Cooking. Reading. All of these are essential parts of my spiritual life. These things help me feel connected to the world,  and to a higher power. They help keep me actively present in my life, moment by moment, living my poem.