A Wedding! A Widow! A Scripture!

 

This past week was filled with News,
Complaints and Hope!

 

The news was exciting! The complaints were real!
The Scripture was one that I love but don't completely understand!

 

Preston and Kayla

 

Let's start with this past weeks news! My son Preston proposed marriage to his girlfriend of four years. This is my baby boy who is much taller than I and a strapping handsome young man. Of course I am biased, but he is still "My Baby." He is the last to get married of my three children and I am happy that my son has found a wonderful young christian woman to spend his life with. He and his girlfriend will seek marriage counseling before they are married and for this I am very pleased. I know the benefits.

Before I got married to my son's father, Mike, we participated in an Engaged Encounter weekend that opened my eyes to some of the unknowns of my future spouse. Even though I wouldn't have admitted it then, I believe that LOVE CAN BE BLIND in some areas.  Since it was thirty years ago, I can't remember exactly what those truths were, but I definitely remember that the weekend was filled with the opportunity to dialogue honestly and intensively about our prospective lives together. We discussed our strengths and weaknesses, desires, ambitions, goals, attitudes about money, sex, children, family, and our role in the church and society in a face to face way. It helped me to understand my future spouse more and accept who he was. It gave us a more realistic perspective on the inner person. It's so important to go deeper in discussions about a couples future together. It's also a discerning process to know if in fact this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.

 

This leads to my next bit of news. On retreat here at Breath of Life over the past couple of weeks, I had the pleasure to listen and speak to a woman who was a widow of three years. She knew I was a widow for five years before meeting my husband Jim, and I believe she needed to vent. She was experiencing deep loneliness and desiring to find a good loving man again. I know that loneliness. She so wanted to find a man who had morals, respect, dignity and like her, a man who lived his Catholic faith.

Her complaint was about a recent date that she went on that turned her stomach. The man exposed bad behavior. He thought and expected her to sleep with him on their first date and assumed in his mind that she wanted the same. He took her to dinner and a movie. She was shocked and surprised at his advances after their night out. She is fifty one years old and when I asked her where she met him, she gave me a secular internet site. The web site does not require it's subscribers to share with others, a moral compass. I then explained to her that meeting someone on a site that does not value a Christ Centered Marriage should be avoided unless she is willing to take that risk. I told her this only because she shared with me that she was a Catholic Christian. There are several Christian sites and for her, Catholic sites, that promote a strict set of moral values. It's not a guarantee that you will meet Mr. Perfect, but it is a place where meeting someone with like minded values and expectations is a good start. Prayer should always be first.

I myself, after being a widow for five years found my husband Jim on CatholicMatch.com. My daughter Sarah also found her mate on CatholicMatch. I loved the site because I put down on my profile who I am and what I expected out of a mate. My profile reflected facts like me not being a trophy wife and not wanting to move from the town I am living in. I shared my down to earth personality, love of my children, and me wearing jeans and tennis shoes most of the time. In addition my desire to serve retreat guests, cook and work in the yard. I shared with brutal honesty what I was looking for in a Catholic Christian mate, so it weeded out those men who might be looking for a wife who loves to travel, go dancing every Friday night and eat sushi. So I suggested to this woman that there are guys out there, but you have to go to the right places or internet sites to try and find them. I compared it to trying to find someone in a bar. It can be done, but you are taking a risk with someone who may not even be in their sober mind when they see you across the room.

I am a Calligraphy Artist and Proverbs 31 is a scripture that I have been asked to letter for years. Over the years, I have created a line of Christian Art/Calligraphy. There are many that are on my "to do" list and some have been there for years. I lack the time that I used to have with creating more works of art and lettering, but, I am feeling that this scripture, which I too love, has now moved to the top of my lettering to do list.

The scripture I love and have trouble understanding fully is Proverbs 31

 

I found an article I enjoyed reading in regards to the Proverbs 31 scripture and I share it below.

Credit happily given to Daria Sockey from Venus, Pennsylvania.
 
 
 
Proverbs has a section subtitled
"The Ideal Wife:"

 

She's held up to us as a role model, yet she dishes out intimidation as well as inspiration.

"When one finds a worthy wife, her value is far beyond pearls. Her husband, entrusting his heart to her, has an unfailing prize."

On the one hand, anyone trying both to run a home and earn extra income sees a true sister in Mrs. Proverbs 31. She's CEO of a cottage industry garment factory, a real estate speculator,and with her spare profits from these ventures, she plants a vineyard. This is in addition to clothing and feeding a large household,

caring for the poor,and dispensing wisdom left and right.All in the same day.

I get tired just reading about it.

On the other hand, moms who are just trying to get through the day feeding, cleaning, and educating little people might respond to Mrs. P's exploits with, "Yeah, right. She's got a built-in daycare center with all those maidservants and what not. Give me some of those, and I'll be out there buying fields and planting vineyards too."

But I think we can all learn a lesson from the Ideal Wife without getting hung up on literal details. The idea is to be whole-hearted in caring for the needs of our families and others in need; not to give in to the temptation to slack off.

The more interesting question, in my opinion, is "What about the Ideal Husband?" Surely all the God-fearing men out there are eager to measure their own virtues against

a guilt-inducing Super Man.

Aren't they?

Well, divinely inspired I am not, but in the spirit of Proverbs 31, here are my own thoughts on the Ideal Husband.

They come from the good example of several wonderful dads I know, especially my dear husband, Bill. It's a Father's Day tribute to any man who can be more or less recognized here:

When one finds a worthy husband, his value is beyond high-yield IRAs.

His wife, entrusting her heart to him, has an unfailing prize.

He goes forth to a job he may not always like, enduring rush hour traffic and unpredictable bosses in order to provide for his family.

He rises before dawn to get the nursing infant, bringing it to his wife who remains comfy and warm in bed.

He takes the lead in family prayer, giving good example to his sons.

He wields dish rag and vacuum in due season, and exhorts his sons to do likewise.

He takes a rowdy preschooler to the back of the church, that his grateful wife may worship the Lord her God in peace.

He fixes the broken towel rack or installs the new blinds within 48 hours of his wife's request.

He relinquishes a favorite televised sporting event to spend the evening with the family God has given him.

When his wife glumly announces that it's hot dogs for dinner again, he replies, "Great! My favorite!" and gives her a kiss.

He says "Gee! You're pretty!" at unexpected moments, cheering her heart and renewing her self-confidence.

Hairlines recede and bifocals may appear, but such a man is forever a hero to his wife.

 

Book News!

My book "Meet Me In The Mountains" is now available in the Kindle and Nook format on amazon and Barnes and Noble. For those of you who have read my memoir, I would sincerely appreciate a review on these sites.

Also the giveaway is underway to win a free book signed by me. Five books will be given away and the drawing is November 25th, 2011.

 

Enter today on the right hand side of this page!

Thank you for reading my blog!