Singles: If You’re Looking for a Mate, Make Sure They Have This

Single men and women, if your checklist for a potential spouse doesn’t include one very special ingredient, you’re selling yourself short. I don’t see this trait on a lot of “desirability” lists, but Biblically speaking, I think it’s pretty important.

Look for a valiant mate.

When Saul was chosen as Israel’s first king, he was more than a little sheepish. In fact, when Samuel proclaimed him to be the next ruler, they found him “hiding among the baggage” (1 Samuel 10:22).

In spite of this obvious lack of courage, Samuel exalted him, the people shouted “Long live the king!” and Saul then made a very wise choice: “Saul went to his home in Gibeah, accompanied by valiant men whose hearts God had touched” (1 Samuel 10:26).

Saul wasn’t as brave as one might hope a leader to be, but at least he was smart enough to surround himself by valiant men “whose hearts God had touched.”

Why is King Saul’s move relevant to your choice of a future marriage partner?

Here’s the shocker: you are called “royalty” by Scripture.  That’s how you should think of yourself in Christ: “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, so that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light” (1 Peter 2:9).

Revelation 5:10 speaks of those Jesus died to save: “You have made them to be a kingdom and priests to serve our God, and they will reign on the earth.”

Revelation 22:5 tells us that God’s followers “will reign for ever and ever.”

To know who you are in Christ is to recognize your royalty. That gives your life a certain purpose and responsibility and it means you need to surround yourself with “valiant” people whose hearts have been touched by God, beginning with your spouse.

A strong king or queen, on his or her own, absent valiant people, is a limited monarch and a vulnerable one. God created you to make an impact, to have influence, to spread his reign. We should see ourselves as vice-regents in terms of royalty, commissioned by the King of Kings to seek first His kingdom above all else.

So, in light of this, find a valiant spouse.

Valiant means someone who is bold, daring, and who shows great determination. This trait, for a ruler, is vastly more important than feelings or appearance. Saul didn’t care if someone was ugly; he wanted to know if they were bold, courageous and a good fighter.

As you’re evaluating someone, ask yourself:

Is this a person who attempts great things for God and/or someone who would support me in my desire to attempt great things for God?

Is this a person who is bold enough to speak up for God when others might laugh?

Is this a person who is daring enough to defend me in front of others, including from his/her own family if need be?

Is this a person courageous enough to confront me when needed?

Is this a person audacious enough to believe that God might use us as a couple?

Of all the things to look for in a future spouse, value valiance. If you want to be successful in your call to rule in God’s Kingdom, a valiant partner is a highly desirable trait.

Married couples, let’s help the singles out here in the comments section. If you can think of how having a valiant spouse has been a blessing to you, please share what happened and why you feel so blessed to be married to such a spouse in the comments section below.

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