Reborn At Last!

Gentle reader, it’s been a long hard winter – and when the groundhog saw his shadow, we knew we were in for some late blizzards and bitter nor’easters. But long-awaited spring has arrived at last in my little piece of paradise – and not without pathos and a watering of tears.

At the very end of the old year, I turned fifty and my father-in-law turned ninety. We had a rollicking celebration that lasted from an afternoon open house to a big family dinner. It was the first birthday party I ever had, Queen of the Day with a crown to prove it!

But our joy was marked by sadness. Our sweet old Jack – German Shorthaired Pointer and well-loved little boy – started falling the afternoon of the party. Within sixteen days, he had gone to Rainbow Bridge, his precious body devastated by spinal cord cancer. The shock and pain of his sudden illness and death seemed unbearable for our family.



Sometimes I felt like a death mask, a stone effigy of a woman stretched out upon a tomb, wide-open eyes staring forever into an abyss. Tears filled an ocean that floated me away from all the loved ones who surrounded us.

I was angry at neighbors who use Round-up, wondering if they had caused Jack’s cancer. (Per veterinarians, canine cancer is largely from old age plus genetics). My other aged Pointer was sick with grief, and I entered the bargaining stage of any great loss, pleading with God and frantically promising one thing and another.

It was a journey of despair, denial, outrage, and un-nameable emotions that grief churns in our bellies and our hearts. And gradually, with my husband and our dogs, we woke back up to life.

There were whole days without tears, moments of laughter, and remembering that became actually happy. Reassurances from the Angels, peace from God, and healing connections with Jack brought about a quiet spring within us – a rebirth from ice and frozen ground to softness, the first yielding, and finally a shoot of green.



Cabin fever has given way to a life out-of-doors this week – hours digging, composting, planting seeds, gently shepherding bright annuals into their new homes in pots and planters. The green of new life springing up from the old, sap rising to fill the willow wands with vitality, and the caress of a sunlit breeze are heaven on Earth.

At fifty, I’m a fully-fledged Wisewoman at the height of my power and purpose. I dig my fingers into the warming soil like roots, and I nurture life, remembering in my heart all my loved ones who have crossed into eternity before me. With the expansiveness of a Wisewoman spirit, I can spread myself upon the sky and touch them still.

When reminded how short our embodied lives are on Earth, each day reveals blessings that shock us in their intensity. The blazing sweetness of a hug, the miracle of a marigold seed dying in the good loam and pushing up gold between new leaves, the gentleness of a pup resting against me in loving innocence – what a beautiful world it is.

So don’t wait for darkness to remind you how gorgeous the sunshine is, or death to come stealing across the golden boughs of life. Be as fully alive as you can possibly be, right now! Our earthly pains pass away, the wheel turns and all is born again, and while our feet are planted here, we must love all we can.

See everything with the wide eyes of a child. Remember, even as you look forward into the new day. It’s spring, my friends! With the vines and flowers, we too may throw off old husks and be renewed.
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Elizabeth S. Eiler, Ph.D. is the author of Swift and Brave: Sacred Souls of Animals and Other Nations: A Lightworker’s Case Book. Her upcoming book, Singing Woman, is a glorious spiritual exploration of the beauty and power of women, the Sacred Feminine, and living in harmony through higher guidance and authenticity. link: Visit her website for book excerpts, poetry, videos, and more.