Guest Post: The laying on of hands #MormonMeToo

Anonymous grew up in a faithful Mormon family in which her father was sometimes bishop and her mother was sometimes relief society president and probably every person was abused. She tried and failed to interrupt the abuse cycle as a child; She tries and mostly succeeds at the same as an adult.

 

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father

he doesn’t remember

what he did to my body

my body

remembers.

 

nurse

did she tend the wounds

and never ask what caused them?

did we stay home

when there were wounds to tend?

 

sister

on winter break, while

he tears upstairs to hit me

she yells stop

&

he

stops.

on summer break, when

he makes our brother’s ears bleed

splits his lips

she warns she’ll tell CPS

if it happens again.

when she is back at college

it happens again.

 

again

and again and

again

and

again and

again

(I lose count,

climb trees,

disguise my limbs as branches,

hum and cry until the house is quiet

again.)

 

mother

he parents with fists;

she asks him to.

 

bishop

something wrong is happening at home

the words slip from my mouth like oil;

he laughs.

I know your family

he says

nothing is wrong.

he knows my family

from three months of sundays.

something wrong is happening at home.

the words sink on my tongue

I don’t try to tell

again.

 

brother

he doesn’t remember

what he did to my body

my body

remembers.