Putting Myself In Time-Out
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I have never been accused of being lazy . . . just the opposite actually, just ask the Professor. He calls me a spaz on speed, though it’s just my ADHD and not drug induced, I can assure you of that. I am on ADHD meds, however, which helps me focus on one thing at a time instead of starting a dozen things and then getting none of them done. It also helps me to remember why I walked into a room because when this room entering loss of brain function happens, the Professor says that my ADHD meds have worn off and he’s actually right. Somewhere around 3 or 4 pm, I have metabolized my meds and my brain starts slipping just a bit. I wish to hell I’d metabolize food like I do my meds.
Anyway, I have been working on several things over the last year and a bit. Such things as a hippotherapy program, an aquatic therapy program, kid yoga instructor certification, my aromatherapy certification, EFT certification, mindfulness certification, nutritional therapist certification, learning about Bach Flowers, opened another clinic, and about 1253 1/2 other things. I also decided it was time to write ‘The Dragonfly Approach,’ a book that has been a long time coming to help parents of kids with special needs be lead in the right direction for maximum outcomes.
I have been pushing myself so hard because I fear that if I don’t, my brain will explode with all of the passion and excitement I have discovered about learning and sharing my knowledge. The Professor is the reason for this explosion of activity, education, and extremely hard work. The word for this is love and the other word in the utter respect he has for me, my brain, my passion, and my hard work. I have never been supported in the way the Professor has supported me. Thank you, God, yet again, for sending me this man!
(My mom supports me too, I have to add that in or I’d be a liar!)
Baring this past week and weekend, here is what a typical day would look like for me:
-wake up 2 hours before I have to see my first OT kid
-make breakfast and read/study while I am eating it
-take advantage of being ready 15 minutes early and get on the internet to look up more information
-see up to 7 to 8 OT kids in a day while loving every minute of it
-my lunch break is spent studying/reading and maybe even peeing if I’m lucky
-at the end of each day for about a year, working on my book ’til 7 pm or later
-cook dinner, eat and study
-visit with the Professor and the kids ’til 11 pm
-sleep and repeat
If it was a weekend, I’d spend nearly 10 hours per day on writing and researching for my book and a few hours on my paperwork, scheduling, billing, etc.
Now, when you spend that many hours with your nose in a book, on the web, on Word writing, etc., some things end up falling by the wayside . . .
For example, some of my chub has unfortunately found its way back to my body, dang it all. I was 5 freaking pounds away from reaching my goal . . . . 5 . . . and now, I have 25 to lose again, at least it isn’t 47 like last time. In my busyness, I have been reminded that I am incapable of focusing on two challenging things at the same time, so one suffers, hence my weight gain. Sigh!
I also realized that although I would spend from 7 pm to 11 pm with the Professor, and sometimes the kids, I’ll be frank here, they are so social and have boyfriends and girlfriends, so I don’t really see them as much as I’d like, I wasn’t really there because I’d be on my phone playing catch up with OT parents, new OT kids that needed to be scheduled, and inevitably, I’d end up with a book or article in my hand, reading and highlighting. Not really fair to the Professor, I know. He would let me know this, I can assure you.
So, now I have 25 pounds to get off, I have bilateral forearm tendonitis aka tennis elbow, or in my case ‘writer’s elbow’ from the many hours at the computer, my sacral-iliac joint is out of whack from the sitting, because I wasn’t eating like I was supposed to, my leaky gut has been acting up and in turn, my eczema is worse than it has ever been in my life.
The Professor asked me the other day, “Is all of this crap worth it, honey?” I paused, something I don’t do a lot, looked him square in the face and said, “Yes, every minute, every pound, every eczema patch, every ache, every pain, yes, ALL OF IT!” And in reply, he said, “Good cuz that’s what I love about you. Your passion at any cost,” and then gave me a sweet smile and a kiss to boot.
However, as the end of the ‘great push’ was coming into view, I could see the slightly irritated faces of my family and read the texts from family and friends telling me I am too busy for my own good. I wouldn’t call it busy though, I’d call it a passion driven necessity of life.
Now that I have put myself into time-out, I am doing things I have NEVER EVER done before in my life, or at least not in a long long long time. For example, I actually slept in the day after the ‘great push’ ended . . . ’til 10 am! I don’t do this, ever! I also took a nap 3 days in a row and slept for 3 hours each day and was still able to fall asleep at night. Why, just this past Sunday I slept in and then laid in bed with the Professor watching the boob tube until 1 pm! But sweet baby Jesus, it has been so nice and now I slowly feel myself coming back to life, it’s fantastic!
I have decided that time-outs are good for adults and we should all take a heckuva lot more of them. Many of us push and push until we are stabby and people want to hurt us. I believe my family was very near grabbing their torches and pitchforks to take my ass out! I don’t blame them on one hand but on another, I HAD to do this ‘great push’ otherwise I’d lose more and more sleep thinking about it.
The moral of my story is push the great push but also take a time-out so you don’t get shoved back to hard by your great push. Time-outs are necessary and lovely and besides, as I have said before, life has an expiration date so you better enjoy the here and now, right?
Love y’all!!
