Be My Valentine
It’s Valentine’s Day, and as a romance writer, many may find it surprising to learn that I’m not all that big of a fan of Valentine’s Day. For one thing, like most other holidays, it has become too much of a commercialized event. Anytime greed is involved, it goes downhill quickly. Things that were once sweet becomes tart.
I remember when I was in elementary school, we would decorate brown lunch bags for Valentine’s Day and hang them around the classroom. Then, at a certain time, the teacher would allow each of us to place cards in the bags for our friends. Here’s the catch. The school rule was that if a student elected to bring Valentine’s Day cards to distribute, the student had to give a card to each student. So, if there was a bully in the class, students being bullied had to give the bully a card. The ideology behind this is that no child would be cardless or have fewer cards than others. But this falls into the same category of No Child Left Behind. I also meant no Child Goes Forward. It strips individualism. A student is denied who they choose to spend money to purchase a card. It makes no one special because everyone is equally as special, which means all are the same. Now, I’m not saying some people are better than other people. My point is: in a perfect world everyone would get along. But some personalities just clash. When I entered junior high and began to discover myself, I was heartbroken that I wasn’t loved and treasured by all. Then, I realized that there were some people I wasn’t too fond of, either. And if I didn’t like everyone, why should I expect everyone to like me? That would be hypocritical. But I digress slightly.
Commercialism in the cards is what I wanted to discuss. When I was younger, Valentine Day cards came in assorted them packs. While the cards themselves was mass produced, I could, at my tender age, select the prettiest cards to give to my closest friends. Included in the pack were envelopes, which I could in my best cursive writing personalize. Now, most of the Valentine’s Day cards packs are a single image, much smaller than the cards of old. The cards used to be about the size of a palm. Now, they are slightly larger than matchbooks. Gone, too, are the envelopes. Instead, these already tiny cards are folded in half and held closed by a sticker. The cost increased while the quality decreased.
But that’s okay, some would argue. There are now e-cards. Or, at least, there used to be. It’s been so long since I was sent an ecard via email that I don’t know if they exist anymore. I do know that before I stopped receiving them, more and more sites were requiring payment to create and send ecards. To me, these cards were impersonal—but hey, it’s the thought that counts, right?
Another Valentine’s Day pet peeve of mine is the movies depicting love triangles. Now, there are times when triangles can be funny or interesting. Specially, the one that bothers me, are the ones that have a woman as the main character and both of her love interest are out-of-the-world spectacular. She happens to fall for both, and they fight over her like goons while she inwardly delights about it but outwardly chastises each of them. Yet, she does very little to dissuade either of their attention. And both men are stupid enough to hand around like this is the only woman in town. Billed as “alpha males” but the writer/creator, these men are anything but. A true alpha male isn’t going to wait around. He’s going to say, “either you’re with me or you’re not”. And that conversation is going to happen pretty doggone quick.
Second kind of triangle I find equally as frustrating is where the woman is involved/engaged/planning her wedding with one man and then when she’s stranded on a business trip or forced to save the family farm (insert some other isolating event here), she finds that her real true love is her antagonist. Seriously? What kind of flake woman is this? If she’s madly in love enough to be planning a wedding to a man she’s been dating for five years and then suddenly discovers her soulmate is a man she’s known for two weeks, how deep are her feelings? I’m not buying it. This is especially frustrating when in reality some women cannot get a single date, let alone a proposal with a huge obnoxious diamond and an adoring fiancé who thinks everything is peachy only to have the rug jerked from beneath him the day before the wedding. This isn’t romantic. This is cheating. Even if it’s not physical, it’s emotional cheating.
But there are some Valentine’s Day books and movies that I adore. For instance, the movie Valentine’s Day directed by the late Garry Marshall. This movie highlights all kinds of love with different sets of complications that seem real and grounded. These are relationships are relatable. Who said Valentine’s Day solely celebrated the love of a couple. One of the best storylines in the Valentine’s Day (WARNING: spoiler coming in the next sentence. If you haven’t seen this movie, skip the rest of this paragraph.) is Julia Robert’s character flying home to see her true love. The fact that she is traveling so far for such a short about of time emphases the depth of her love. This movie has new love, aging love, budding love, puppy love, insecure love, and broken love. It’s all there wrapped in a tidy package with an HEA. And the best part is that none of these storylines involving having to purchase expensive gives. The message is loving and being there is enough. Truly, isn’t that what love is all about?
So, that’s all I have on this Valentine’s Day. I hope everyone enjoys the day. This also being Ash Wednesday, I also hope a special dispensation is given for the day to embrace Saint Valentine to the fullest.
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