A Few Quick Things, vol. 47

I’ve started taking a daily multivitamin again. This happens from time to time. I get it in my head that I should be doing it, and buy a bottle. It always feels like they’re priced at roughly 25% more than my inner-sensors tell me they should cost. You know, since I’m a well-known vitamin expert… Then I take one per day until the bottle is empty. And that’s that, for four or five years. There’s almost never a second bottle. Yes, I’m very dedicated to all this stuff.

And check out the size of these things! You can’t really see it, but they’re thick too. Quite girthy… I had a little trouble taking the first one, without gagging. I think I was expecting a terrible taste, and everything clenched up on me. But there was no taste, not really. Now I’m just taking ’em on, one after the other. And this whole paragraph feels a bit homoerotic, doesn’t it? Hey, whatever. And yes, I’ll beat you to it, those are the hands of a man who hasn’t done a day of physical work in 30 years. What of it?

Do you take any kind of supplements? Have any of them actually helped you? I can’t really see a difference, to tell you the truth. I’m sure most of it’s going straight down the ol’ porcelain pee-catcher. Right? But I’m somewhat interested in this kind of thing. I heard a guy on the radio a few days ago talking about a daily “mega-dose” of Vitamin C. He’s convinced it’s kept him cancer-free, etc. But you’ve gotta be careful… People are full of shit, generally speaking, or misinformed or crazy. But I wouldn’t mind learning more about vitamins and supplements, if I could do it without, you know, putting forth any effort.

Has anything worked for you? Help me out, won’t you?

Speaking of healthy living, check out this Filet O Fish sandwich I was served a few days ago. What goes on?! How is that acceptable? Do they have people with one eye working back there? I had to go in and make a radical adjustment so everything lined up vertically. ‘Cause with a sandwich it’s all about the vertical.

I saw the two guys working back there, and think I know what it is. It’s nothing to do with a glass eye or any of the common palsies. I think they’re just a couple of half-assed pieces of shit. I mean, I know I’m going way out on a limb here. But that’s my conclusion. I don’t think they care, one way or the other. I’m lucky I didn’t get it bun/bun/filet. Or even bun/bun/bun. And I don’t understand that, I really don’t. I had my share of stupid-ass jobs when I was young. But I had a little pride. Ya know? I can guarantee there would be no Jeff Kay-sanctioned fishes going out with 50% overhang. It’s ludicrous.

And the thing about it? People defend this kind of stuff. They make excuses. “What do you expect from a 17-year-old who’s basically being exploited, blah blah blah…” Are you serious? How about a halfway decent effort, and not having a terrible attitude? You’re essentially telling the world, “This is a stupid and embarrassing job, but I’m not capable of mastering even it.” Right? Right.

I was at a grocery store on Super Bowl Sunday and was going to buy a rotisserie chicken for my quesadilla extravaganza. They had none, so I asked a solidly-built low-to-the-ground woman for a status. “Forty-five minutes, if not more!” she spat at me, and spun on her heel and walked away. No apology, or even a hint of human kindness. After I shouted sarcastically, “Thank you! You’ve been very helpful! A true delight!!” at the wide wheelbase deli worker, I started bitching about it to my son. And he said, “What do you expect? It’s just some minimum wage job.” And my heart sank. How? How could he have this opinion too? My own flesh and blood? He was giving her a pass and acted like I was the crazy one.

We’re very near the end of civilization, my friends. Sweet sainted mother of Gale Gordon…

I took Friday off, and Toney and I are going to meet with a travel agent about a possible trip to Las Vegas in September. It’ll be our 25th wedding anniversary, and we’ve kicked around a thousand ideas for a trip. A thousand, I tell you. We discussed Europe, all-inclusives in the Caribbean or Mexico, a fancy-ass resort off the coast of Florida, etc. But some of the ideas were way too much money or didn’t work for other reasons. “How about Vegas?” Toney threw out, one-day last week. Huh. It seems somewhat ridiculous, but also intriguing. And the more we thought about it, the more we like the idea. We’re going to get more info on Friday, and maybe get the ball rolling on this deal. I’ve been there many times, but always with work. And Toney grew up in Reno and has been there many times, as well. But we’ve never been there together. I’ll keep you updated on this plan that will almost certainly be abandoned by March. Pass the beer nuts.

I need to go now. A slightly-abbreviated work week beckons.

Have a great day, my friends!

I’ll see you again soon.

Now playing in the bunker

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