My life in a blender

Crazy title for this blog, right? It’s true. If you were to take the pieces of my life:

Being a mother
Being a mother to a child with autism, mood disorder, and early on-set Schizophrenia
Constantly getting texts or calls from the school regarding his behavior. He has paranoid early onset Schizophrenia with auditory illusions. The voices used to tell him to make good decisions. Now the voices tell him to make very bad decisions. I am constantly crying over this.
As though dealing with a special needs child wasn’t enough, I have to deal with myself who is a woman with anxiety, depression, PTSD, etc. Extreme depression.
Being a fiance’ to a hardworking ironworker, who busts his ass all day so he is exhausted at night & just wants to relax (Kids don’t make that easy, so I get to play referee to ensure a fair fight in kids vs dad matchup)
Being an author, who apparently couldn’t sell her book, if her life depended on it (HA!…Seriously, crying)
Being a military veteran & military support civilian having crewed on helicopters from nearly a decade- my body is destroyed from missions, trainings, and such.
Being a woman in general & never feeling good enough.
The list goes on and on…these are just the quick jot downs

We are all struggling with something in our lives. Life isn’t perfect. It wasn’t meant to be perfect. It was meant to help us grow. However, how much growth are we expected to do before life cuts us a break? Am I being selfish for wanting the my blender of a life to be turned off or at least turned to a lower setting? Thoughts?

 

Happy Reading & XoXo

S.E.Isaac

Oh, Happy Monday by the way!