Gumbo No-No
Gumbo is one of Creoles’ and Cajuns’ most beloved dishes. There are hundreds of gumbo recipes ranging from simple to complex. Some recipes call for four to five ingredients (although, I don’t know many that call for that few) while others require up to twenty if not more. It is because of the large discrepancy in recipes that many may hold the belief that anything can go in gumbo. Well, I’m here to tell you: No the hell not! As a gumbo-loving Creole, there are some ingredients that are pure sacrilege to put in gumbo. So, here’s my list of the top ingredients not to put in gumbo.
**Disclaimer: these are my personal preferences. I’m sure not everyone will agree with me.**
Pop Tarts. Now, this may seem like common sense, and honestly, I’d never heard of such a travesty. Then, one day sure enough, there was a photo of a Pop Tart stuck in the gumbo. Don’t do this. This just isn’t right. Let me express this in my best Tom Hanks’ League of Their Own voice. There’s no Pop Tarts in gumbo.
Eggs. Oh boy. Let me channel Ricky Ricardo. Aye yai yai. I’m clueless where this originated or who thought it was a good idea, but someone did. And actually, I think maybe, including this ingredient has a bigger following than I thought. This consists of cooking the gumbo, bringing it to a rolling boil, then cracking a raw egg into a stirring spoon that is held atop the gumbo. The spoon is lowered slowly, just slightly breaching the surface of the gumbo. I supposed this is to allow the gumbo to flavor the egg. Who knows? I don’t, and frankly, I’m not trying to figure it out. In any case, the egg is held in this position for several minutes. Basically, the gumbo poaches the egg. Once poached, the egg is dumped into the gumbo. Now, there’s also another way to add eggs, and that’s simply to add the egg whole and allow it to boil in the gumbo. I believe that may be a more traditional “egg gumbo”.
Skittles. Come on now! I bet some of you are reading this and thinking I’m joking. Unfortunately, I am not. I had the bad luck of seeing this in person. Now, don’t get me wrong. Skittles are a great candy—just not in gumbo. Doing this is an injustice on two fronts: to the candy and to the gumbo. This should be illegal.
Miscellaneous four-legged animals with teeth. This is so disgusting that I’m not going to even bother discussing it. I’m just going to leave it here as is.
Beets. I don’t know where to start with this one. I suppose it’s not as atrocious as other ingredients but no. All I can guess is that maybe someone got a beet confused with a red onion. I don’t know how, but it’s possible. I don’t know what you’re cooking by including beets, but it sure the heck ain’t gumbo.
Peter Piper picked a peck of … pumpernickel. At first, when I heard this, I was like “okay, it’s replacing the rice”. I could maybe see that a little bit. (I’m very tolerant.) But that’s not how the pumpernickel was being used. It was being added while cooking. Now, anyone with any knowledge of physics or chemistry would know why not to add a bread to a gumbo while cooking. Can I say soggy mess? It doesn’t even make for a dumpling texture.
I’m going to get into trouble for this next one but I’m adding it anyway. Nutria. I get it. Some people like eating nutria. Some say it’s no different than eating beaver, possum, or coon. Okay. I don’t eat those things, either, but I find them somewhat more palatable than nutria. I’m sorry. I just can’t do it. Nutria is on my list of don’ts, and it’s going to stay that way. I apologize to all the nutria gumbo lovers, but yuck!
The next ingredient isn’t a no, but it made my list because it can be a pain. Undeboned chicken. Some people say the bones help add flavor, and I’m not going to argue with that. The problem I find with it is that I don’t like picking out the bones, especially the breast bones. It’s pretty much the same when adding crab in the shell and having to pick out the shells as one eats. It’s annoying. Of course, I suppose one could eat the shells and bones.
The next on my list is not an added an ingredient but an omitted ingredient. Okraless gumbo. Not everyone likes okra. What’s weird to me is that when people say they made gumbo but left out the okra is that that word “gumbo” literally means “okra” is West African. It’s where the recipe derived its name. So, if there is no okra, is it really gumbo? Call it soup maybe.
Hot dogs. Who ever? Maybe I’m too eccentric and old-fashioned but hot dogs in gumbo don’t seem right. I understand that the tradition of gumbo started by the people being resourceful and using ingredients available to them. Perhaps hot dogs are what is available to most people now. In this tough economy, I’m not going to knock anyone for cutting back and trying to save a penny. But hot dog is an ingredient I can’t wrap my head around.
Cauliflower. Okay, I’m going to admit bias here. I don’t typically like cauliflower anyway, so putting it in my gumbo is just an added no.
Deer tamales. This one made me say, “Do what?” First, I don’t believe tamales and gumbo should be used in the same sentence. But many people do make venison gumbo. So, I’m going to assume the deer tamale thing is a spin on the venison version. So, I’ll give this one a pass, but I’m leaving it on the list because it sounds weird. “Hey, Molly, make me a bowl of that deer tamale gumbo.” Nope, just doesn’t sound right to me.
Orange slices. A friend served this at a Christmas party because she thought it was festive. The only thing festive about that dish was the bowl it was served in.
Veined shrimp. Back in the day that I could eat shrimp before I developed my nasty little allergy of anaphylactic shock, I used to love shrimp. I still think back fondly and am very jealous of those who can still enjoy shellfish without a trip to the ER … or possibly to the morgue. But the one thing that I never enjoyed then was having the vein left in the shrimp. It took away the flavor, and aesthetically, it looked less appealing. So, add the shrimp but devein it first.
That is my list. If you have a gumbo no-no, leave me a comment.
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