Reaching the Beyond
Some things are hard to admit. Even to ourselves. But in order to adjust our vision to the horizon, we need to look back and acknowledge the journey of learning that led to here.
Fact: It took me about six finished books to get to a story I was reasonably happy with. Six. All now unpublished, though I still think the basic story idea might be sound and all I’d have to do is restructure, tweak a bit here and there, and …
Can’t be done. Not by me. Not yet. They were my apprentice pieces. My learning projects. And because I wasn’t picked up by a publisher (yes, I did send them that way initially – because I was scared to face the reality of what was required to self-publish, but also, the biggest thing, I was afraid of what people would say/think about it), I waited a certain amount of time, did the proofreading a few extra times, and learned how to ‘put it out there’.
Was it a mistake? Well, yes, of course. And No, of course not. How much more contradictory can it get?
It was a mistake because my skills weren’t as good as they should’ve been. If a publisher took on the story, they’d assign an editor to work on the issues of structure and passivity – but I didn’t know what a publishing editor would do, and I didn’t have the zillions of dollars to try to find an editor who’d be a good fit for me.
No, really. Dollars. What it costs to get an editor to do a developmental edit was too high for me. Several hundred dollars, which is a lot. I know everyone is going to say it would be worth it. It’s not worth it if you can’t eat! If you get kicked out of your house for not paying bills. Our limited income is half what would be considered ‘the poverty line’ in Australia (we manage, but it’s way too tight for high outputs like that editor – who may or may not be the best fit, after all, and therefore, no ROI), so don’t say it would all work out in the end. It wouldn’t have.
I know that now.
The ‘No’ was because of what I learned – the hard way – about what it takes to get a reader (even one!) to read your story. And the lesson about putting something out there for free in pdf – pirates sail these waters!
It wasn’t a mistake because I kept learning new skills, honing the craft. I got better. Would that have happened if I’d got reasonable sales from the first (few)? No, I’d think it was okay. Maybe I’d think I was good at this. A writer with confidence in my skills? Pfffffffttttt! Right. Hmmmmm, let’s move on, shall we?
And more on the ‘No’ side: the new skills, the satisfaction of being able to be self-sufficient in this arena, the chosen arena for my new craft (not really new, but still a newby in this day and age). And I met fellow travellers on this path, who helped me learn, even as I shared my knowledge of the journey with them. It gave a focus to my horizon, a map, and a plan of action. And because I can’t help but ‘see what lies over there’ I went on with my journey.
I now know how to structure and write a full first draft mss in four weeks. I’ve even done a ‘go to whoa’ story – draft to finished product in four weeks. And it was readable, interesting (still not sure about the blurb – we never stop learning; so many things to learn).
The point of all this? I almost thought about going back to fix up the unpublished titles. Almost. The danger is that I’d slip back into the way I wrote them and it would be a craft skill backslide. I’m not that confident yet. One day. Maybe. A few more years. Ten or so might do it.
In the meantime, I was supposed to be finalising the first draft of the ‘On the Cards’ story, but it’s been a bit hot here, and even with air-con, it’s too hard to maintain a steady focus.
Oh, and the TDU is on. Today is the last day for that, but not for the heat. I felt for them the other day, riding in the hot, hot, hot weather. For those who don’t know, we had days of 45 degrees Celcius (about 117-120 F). That’s ‘days’ plural. And we’re expecting more this week, and in the meantime it doesn’t seem to want to get below 38 or so.
There’s only two times a year when I move away from the storytelling work for hours at a time. One is TDF. One is TDU. If it wasn’t so hot, I’d even go out there and cheer them on at a few of the stages, but … I’ll just toast them with a cold beer from the couch.
that’s it from me today. On Wednesday, you get Scene 2 of ‘On the Cards’ – after that, you have to wait for the finished product, due out sometime in Feb.
