Things that Julia London Needs To Know
As I was thinking of today's topic, I pondered several choices, politics (BOO!), the mystery of the lysteria tainted cantaloupe murders, why I don't like Amanda Knox, the demise of the Playboy Club (the series), why I like the new show Person of Interest, and my weird dream last night. Deciding that Julia London needs some educational support (it's something in her eyes, is what I'm thinking, that perpetual confused look), I decided to cover them all, so Julia (Kathleen raps ruler on desk), "Pay Attention."
1. First of all, in yesterday's daily political kerfuffle (write the word kerfuffle ten times and then use it in a sentence, and not the one I am writing), Chris Christie, after giving the matter weighty attention, decided not to run for President of the United States. I think Chris Christie is a funny guy. I like to listen to him, and I like his self-deprecating style. However, I can like Chris Christie because I live in New York and he's not my governor, so it's allowed. If I lived in Jersey, (when hell froze), I would probably not like Chris Christie. However, the interesting piece of all that was the discussion of whether Chris Christie could ever win an election because he was a man of wide girth. Historians were trotting out the usual statistics, the taller candidate usually wins, the prettier candidate usually wins, blah, blah, blah, and how people would not vote for Chris Christie because he was super-sized. This bothered me. I kept thinking, what if Jesus Christ came back to earth and he was fat? Would everybody walk away and pledge their support for Satan? Would Letterman do a top ten list about What Would Jesus Eat? I don't know. These are the conundrums that occupy my mind.
Death By Cantaloupe
2. I don't know if you realize this, Julia, but there is a bacteria known as listeria that is bad. Very, very, bad, except, and I bet you don't know this, lysteria is naturally occurring. It is found in the soil, and can infect vegetables, and animals as well. Listerosis is the infection caused by the lysteria bacteria and it's a LOT worse than salmonella. Currently, there is a listeria outbreak of contaminated cantaloupes (say that seven times fast). I bet you don't know this, but I have a cantaloupe in my refrigerator, which has been sitting there for about four weeks. I haven't cut into the cantaloupe for two reasons a) I am secretly worried that the cantaloupe has already gone soft and I will get mad at myself for buying it and not eating it and b) I don't want to die. Now, Julia London, realize the beauty of this internal debate. The human will to survive is strong and can trump anything, no matter how unflattering or trivial. So if you want to win an argument, the final answer should always be "I don't want to die."
3. I don't like Amanda Knox. I don't trust her. I don't want to die.
Angry Birds of the Peacock Persuasion
4. Yesterday the NBC peacock stomped all over the bunnies of the Playboy Club (the series). Now, Julia London, we call this first sentence a hyperbole. Hyperbole is an exaggeration, not meant to be taken literally. In this case, the NBC peacock did not run out and trample a bunch of underdressed cocktail (not a hyperbole) waitresses. No, actually what probably happened was four suits sat in a room and drooled over the table as they watched the show and then one female (probably dressed in a suit as well, most likely non-revealing) papered the room with the poor reviews and press coverage of the series. This probably carried no weight with the programming execs, until she laid out the advertising revenues from the show (two quarters and seven pennies). That, they understand, and the series was regretfully axed (another hyperbole).
5. I like Person of Interest. It is odd and smart and the hero kills people who deserve to die, while saving the good people from the bad people. Also, it's fun watching the show use the technology that it does. We watched Jurassic Park this weekend and I admired the imagination of Michael Crichton who uses just enough science to make it feel crazy-real. Person of Interest does this with high-tech. It feels crazy-real. I don't know if you know this or not, but Michael Crichton died in 2008 (I know that Dee knows this, because she loves Michael Crichton). However, do not read Michael Crichton's Timeline because it's a stinker (Dee and I agreed on that).
6. I had a very weird Law & Order dream last night. I was in the Marriott Marquis (as an employee) and Lennie Briscoe and Ed Green were both shot by the bad guys. I called the cops, because both were in very bad shape. The cops were late to arrive because they couldn't find the proper loading dock, and Ed Green died. Lennie survived. I woke up thinking that Jerry Orbach was still alive. I was sad when I realized it was just a dream. 
Questions for the day, do you think a large-sized political candidate could win a Presidential election? What new shows are you watching? Do you ever have to throw out produce and then beat yourself up (that's hyperbole, Julia London) for it? Do you think Amanda Knox is guilty? What new shows do you think they should axe (another hyperbole) next?
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