Show Me Your Hallmark by Ripley Proserpina

You ever have a picture of yourself in your head and then one thing happens, and suddenly it’s all blown to dust? Before this December, I’d probably describe myself as a bit jaded and snarky. Nothing surprises me. Wednesday Addams is my spirit animal. I like the Grinch before his heart grows, and I prefer Gene Hackman’s Lex Luther to Christopher Reeve’s Superman.

But Hallmark got me.

Turns out, if Netflix adds a bevy of Hallmark-type, feel-good, happy-ending romances I’m in heaven. I chose the cheesiest, happiest-endingest Christmas movie I could find, and it was worth the hour and twenty minutes I lost.

And the subsequent eight that followed…

I love the bad guys who are purely bad, and I mean, we’re talking zero redeeming abilities. And the spunky, misunderstood heroines? Totally relatable. Except for the part where their scarves are perfectly wrapped and their makeup is on point. (Sometimes, the heroine will start a scene wearing a beautiful green coat, the camera will cut away to the love interest, and when it returns to the heroine, her coat is suddenly blue. And I don’t even care.)

I haven’t seen much of these actors and actresses since their sitcoms or family dramas were cancelled, so it’s like revisiting old friends when I watch these shows. Well dressed, perfectly coifed old friends with perfect teeth.

So for the next 9 days until Christmas, I’ve found something to keep me occupied through wrapping presents. After that, though? It’s back to gothic romances and vampires.

Filed under: Ripley Proserpina