Learning how to say ‘no’. Step #1 – own yourself #MondayBlogs #IAmAWriter

[image error]I know how to say the actual word ‘no’. It’s not a difficult word, after all. But, somehow, I don’t end up using the word as much as I should. Whether it’s responding to a request to become vice-president of the local expat group or ordering that third bottle of wine at dinner, I’m pretty much a ‘yes girl’. This has resulted in me being stretched so thin that I’m worried I’ll actually become see-through. It’s more than past time for me to learn to say no and not let myself be persuaded any other way! But how?

I recently met an interesting woman and as we were telling our stories, I started to whine about feeling overwhelmed. I normally don’t whine and complain to strangers. Really, I don’t. I blame the wine. It turned out that this woman is absolutely lovely and a communications specialist to boot. Naturally, this meant I continued to complain.

One of the things I complained about was the huge number of people who continued to ask me to do volunteer work despite my having a full-time job. Of course, the discussion then evolved into my writing and all the things I do for my writing. I continued to complain about how everyone thinks that my writing is a hobby and/or that I can arrange my schedule to accommodate their needs as I’m ‘only a writer’. That’s when I received some pretty awesome advice. (To be fair: I’ve heard it a million times, but at this particular moment in time, it really resonated with me.)

“If you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will. You have to own it.” (Click to tweet)

 

Easier said than done, am I right? One of the most difficult parts about being a writer (besides that horrible writer platform thing) is having confidence in your writing. Like most artists, our moods – and belief in our work – can change on a dime. One second you’ll be typing away thinking your story is awesome, then you’ll turn a page and ‘realize’ it’s all drivel. Who could possibly ever want to read this crap, you’ll think.

This is perfectly normal. But if you present this lack of self-confidence to the outside world, you will not only have a hard time selling books, but you won’t be considered a writer by the non-writing community. Thus, causing everyone and their cousin to ask you to do a gazillion things for them.

So, let’s practice this. All together now: I am a writer. That was pathetic. Let’s try again: I AM A WRITER. I feel better already.

[image error]