Poly-synthetic English

Wouldn’t it be whackey if we wrote English like this?

Thisz w’tsh me’ we se’ th’ w’tshw spe’. ‘N naa wz taam tbiu’ frum thbaarr’m vpi, tuu thaa’. Dou hoba’. Aam pak’n mbaz ‘n giv’n thjkarr’mii retshe’. Aarrouwaa’n lerraautsh. Aarrouwaa’n liiv vtaau. Afrraa, wthssirrii rrousliip ‘naa’. Duz taam tbegi? Aage’ mobig b’ rr’mi’ w’rraam thsem z wz. Doutsh unsta’? Aarroum nev tshedzh’n huuwjam.

These are the first three stanzas of a song that you probably know. Can you guess which ones?

If not, how about some grammar? Here’s the conjugation of “to be.”

To be= tbii, I am= -m, you are = -w, he/she/it is= -z, we/they are= -j (past forms -wz, -w, -wz, -w)

Maybe some pronouns?

First person singular nominative= aa-, possessive= m-, objective= –mii, conjunctive= –w’rraa , negative= aarrou-  rhetorical= dourraa, declarative=huuwja

Second person singular nominative= iij-, possessive= j-, objective= –tsh, conjuctive= – w’tsh, negative= iijaa rhetorical= doutsh, declarative= huuwjaa

Third person agentive singular nominative= 0-, possessive= s-, objective= –m, conjunctive= –waade, negative= iirrou, rhetorical=duzii, declarative= huuwii

Third person unagentive singular nominative= w-, possessive= v- objective= -0, conjunctive= –waad’, negative= rrou, rhetorical=duz, declarative= waarr

Although of course a musician might sing in a more redundant and way, with a few archaic words (in italics):

Sthisz w’tsh met’h

We iijse’ th’ iijuuw spet’h

‘N naa wz taam tbiu’ frum thbaarr’m vpi’, raa’ tuu thtsaaph

Dou hobuakh

Pak’n mbaz ‘n giv’n thjkarr’mii retshe’

Aarrouevwaa’n letsh daau

Aarrouevwaa’n liiv thstaau

Kzafrraa

Thssirrii nev sliips ‘naa’

Z taam tbegi, iz’ni’?

Aage’ lirrlbi’ big’ bthe aarr’mi’

Aam dzhus thsem z aa wuz

Naa doutsh unstan

Aam nev tshedzh’n huuwjam

Is that any better? If not, how about a phonetic transcription?

səðɪsəz wəʔtʃə mɛth

wɛ ijəsɛʔ ðəʔ ijuwə spɛth

n̩ na wəz tam təbɪʊʔ fɹʌm ðəbarm̩ əvəpɪʔ, ɹaʔ tu ðəcaɸ

doʊ hoʊbʊæx

pækn̩ məbæz n̩ gɪvn̩ ðəjəkærm̩i əɹɛtʃɛʔ

aroʊɛvəwaʔnə lɛtʃə daʊ

aroʊɛvəwaʔnə liv ðəstaʊ

kəzæfrəɔ

ðəssɪri nɛvə slips əʔ naʔ

z tam təbɛgɪ, ɪzn̩ɪʔ

agɛʔ əlɪrəlbɪʔ bɪgə bəðɛ ɔ arəʔmɪʔ

am dʒʌs ðəsɛm əz a wʌz

na doʊtʃə ʌnəstæʔ

am nɛvə tʃɛdʒn̩ huwəjæm

Give up? Fine.