29. How to handle and take care of your children from a spiritual perspective
Every child comes with their own unique journey and their own unique set of good and bad prarabdha karma. As parents you cant do anything about the prarabdha karma created due to their past actions of past lives but you can always motivate and guide them to do good karma and actions in the present to have a better prarabdha in the future. As parents you should always remember to keep a balance between love, assertiveness and discipline because too much love can spoil the child and too much discipline and control can push your child to revolt. After every assertive and disciplinary action please explain the child why you did it. To communicate this to the child is very important. Every person needs a little space and understanding in life including children so learn to give them their space and try to be understanding towards them. Dont try to be overprotective because that will not let your child grow and learn. You need to accept the fact that no child can learn to walk without falling and making mistakes, so please let them make mistakes and let them fall once in a while so that they can acquire wisdom, maturity and learning. Always explain to the child the consequences of their actions especially if they are bad actions and tell them that they will be responsible for their actions so that in future they dont blame you for their own actions. Once you do and follow all the above mentioned guidelines then the rest you need to leave it to God and their karma. Pray to god to take care of your children and do the best for them but always remember even God cannot interfere with the law of karma but he can always guide your children and show them the right path.
One more important thing you should remember that whenever you need to shout at your children to discipline them , then dont do it with real anger because by doing this you will transfer your negative energy of anger or hidden fear to them. You can always do fake shouting meaning shouting without anger but with love and care so that even when you are shouting, the energy of love and care is transmitted to your children. Subconscious mind of your child can sense everything so please be cautious. There might be times when you will be feeling real anger towards your child and it would be better if you find some way to release all your anger before saying anything to your child. No child is perfect ….they will all have their imperfections coming from their past lives which we need to understand and accept before we start overreacting.
Every child is unique and different and have come with their own unique journey so never compare your children with other children because comparison is an act of ego and it will only strengthen the ego (I) of the child. Understand the strengths and weaknesses of your children and talk about it with them. Dont just keep praising the child always because that will spoil the child and again strengthen his ego. Also dont keep criticising your child always because that will also affect the ego in a negative way. You need to be truthful towards your child about their strengths and especially their weaknesses in a loving way. Most of the parents dont wish to see the bad side of their children. If you will not do that then it will not help your child. Before telling about the weaknesses , you should always first talk about their strengths so that their ego is not badly hurt. You need to strike a right balance and always prepare them for this discussion in advance.
Always remember and accept that whatever your child has to face ….it will face eventually, be it good or bad. But it will be all for his spiritual learning and growth. Its upto every individual how much he or she can learn and grow in one lifetime. Sometimes people might not learn anything and keep making the same mistakes over and over again but we have to give them the freedom to do so. We cannot force anyone to learn and grow…..any advice or guidance forcefully given will never be truly accepted. So after giving guidance and advice and showing the path we need to leave the rest on God and their prarabdha karma because we cant control everything. Even God will not control everything that is why he has given us free will to choose the path ahead. I understand that till your children are very small, you need to guide them and take care of them and sometimes even discipline them but the moment they reach a point in their lives where they are capable of taking their own decisions and choosing their own path whether good or bad , then you need to give them the freedom to make their choices provided you explain to them the consequences of their choices or actions without reacting negatively. Be supported and positive towards them and believe me they will always love you and respect you for that .
