Deadbomb Bingo Ray- Stories I Didn’t Use, #1

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Philadelphia. The setting for Deadbomb Bingo Ray, out this November from Turner Publishing. Now, when I wrote this insane noir, I actually did live in Philadelphia. I was there for about a year, and dudeboy above, the urban opossum, well. They’re scary (they’re harmless) and they are everywhere. Here is a story I didn’t use, but its a good one. Contents: a rap group, a camera crew, several women in tight clothes, and all of them screaming in front of our last story component, an abandoned building they’d just pried the door off of.

Mysterious, how shocking horror finds its way into everyday life. I remember that episode well. I was standing in front of this pizza place. Terrible neighborhood. Across the street, a film crew was setting up. In much of Philadelphia, you don’t want things like cameras to be visible. So, curious. But that’s also why they had so many guns. It was a music video of some kind, I reasoned. A van pulled up, and several models were deployed. More curious, still. An old black guy was standing next to me, watching too. I knew him, so I asked what was up.

“Used to be a night club in that building,” he explained. “Closed in 1970 something. They bought it, them big boys with the gold chains there. Gonna open up. All kinda people gonna get killed in there.”

Ah.

On cue, the cameras roll. Music blast from the van. A huge guy with huge jewelry walks to the door (a plank of plywood) and uses a crowbar in the background as another huge guy, probably the leader, gives a speech I can’t make out. Tension rises as the speaking looks back in confusion, running low on material, as the crowbar operation is taking so long. The women all turn to look. All eyes are on the giant straining at the plywood, which had been reinforced in some way. There is a high whine as nails sing out of old wood and then BOOM! The plywood falls outward as the man steps back. Collective moment of silence as we all behold the new black rectangle that leads into the remains of something else. The speaker takes a tentative step forward and then stops. Something has caught his eye. Then he takes a step back.

The entire group screams in unison as the first possum scrambles out, the leader of an awesome tribe. In seconds, several more appear, weaving through the pandemonium. People are running. Some are trying to climb up on the van. One man brandishes a gun.

“Oh dog,” the old guy next to me says. “I bet they been up in there feeding on mice.”

I tossed the pizza slice and left. Disgusting, I know, but high comedy as well. I never did find out if they opened that club.

Deadbomb Bingo Ray: Jeff Johnson: 9781683367246: Amazon.com …

https://www.amazon.com/Deadbomb-Bingo-Ray-Jeff-Johnson/dp/1683367243

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