Kindle Version of 'The Hottest Gay Man Ever Killed in a Shark Attack' is FREE for the Next 3 Days!

I noticed a few other folks running sales and promotional giveaways on shark-related thingamabobs in honor of Shark Week, and it occurred to me that I have my own shark-related thingamabob to give away if I so choose.

I so choose. The Kindle version of my first and only novel, The Hottest Gay Man Ever Killed in a Shark Attack, is FREE for the next 3 days (7/26 - 7/28).

Praise for The Hottest Gay Man Ever Killed in a Shark Attack…

“Funniest book of 2016, hands down!” – Danger Slater

“Douglas Hackle is a treasure of the bizarro scene and his first novel deserves to be shelved with classics of the genre, alongside your Mellicks, and your Donihes, and your Pierces, and your Sandses.” – G. Arthur Brown

“This book is the culmination of everything I admire about Hackle's work and thus represents a master work of Bizarro fiction. This is like Hackle's Dark Tower, every awesome quirk of his writing makes an appearance in some shape or form in this book.” – Frank Edler

"Imagine, if you will, that you’re a woman who just enjoyed a one-night stand with a man endowed with a humongous penis, one larger than any you’d ever taken before. Not only was this fella packin’ heavy (let’s say it was 15-inches long and thicker than a beer can), but the dude also knew how to use the damn thing! As a result, for a few months following said amazing encounter, the penises of all subsequent lovers are lost in the cavernous, stretched-out, frictionless, pleasure-ruined void that your sex has become, until you naturally tighten up again. That, my friends, is what reading Hackle’s THE HOTTEST GAY MAN EVER KILLED IN A SHARK ATTACK is like: The book takes you like a BIG OL’ D, so that, at least for a few months after reading it, ALL OTHER BOOKS, regardless of genre, style, critical acclaim, or canonical eminence, seem like clumsily deployed micropenises by comparison." - Arthur Graham

Click on the cover image for the Amazon link.

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Published on July 26, 2017 10:31 Tags: bizarro, douglas-hackle, giveaway, shark-week
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message 1: by [deleted user] (new)

Re: AG's commentary. In other words it leaves one with a huge hole?


message 2: by Douglas (new)

Douglas Hackle TightropeWalker wrote: "Re: AG's commentary. In other words it leaves one with a huge hole?"

Well, yeah, I guess. But a hole that eventually closes. Hey, that's what the man wrote. Take it up with him.


message 3: by Arthur (new)

Arthur Graham TightropeWalker wrote: "Re: AG's commentary. In other words it leaves one with a huge hole?"

YOU'RE a huge hole, CoolieC!!


message 4: by [deleted user] (new)

Arthur wrote; "YOU'RE a huge hole, CoolieC!!"

Hahahahahahahahaha. Funny as a Bizarro book.


message 5: by [deleted user] (new)

Douglas wrote; "Well, yeah, I guess. But a hole that eventually closes. Hey, that's what the man wrote. Take it up with him. "

Well, you chose to put it on your blog. Haven't you yet noticed that being associated with the "Supremo Pervert" is detrimental to book sales?


message 6: by Arthur (new)

Arthur Graham TightropeWalker wrote: "Haven't you yet noticed that being associated with the "Supremo Pervert" is detrimental to book sales?"

Speaking as The Dapper Don of Goodreads, the conferment of titles is typically MY domain, although I will allow it in this case and happily add "Perverto Supreme" to my long list of credentials.


message 7: by [deleted user] (new)

Jeez. It's "Supremo Pervert." Don't you have any more reading retention than the rest of the Millennials?


message 8: by Douglas (new)

Douglas Hackle Just got wind of this, and I'd be remiss if I didn't share it, considering it's day 2 of the 3-day FREE giveaway.

Bizarro and Sharks!

https://bizarrocentral.com/2017/07/27...


message 9: by Douglas (new)

Douglas Hackle DeMunchies wrote: "Yay! That's the first time BizarroCentral or Eraserhead has updated their blog since they got wind of another Mellick fart."

Didn't you see the NO TROLLING sign over here, cheeto dick?

Go pore over some wainscoting or something, cuz here there be
sharks!


message 10: by Douglas (new)

Douglas Hackle Still jealous that you don't belong to THE UNTOUCHABLE BIZARRO ELITE, eh?

The thermometer of success is merely the jealousy of the malcontents. - Salvador Dali


message 11: by Douglas (new)

Douglas Hackle DeMunchies wrote: "Did someone say shark?

This supposedly belongs elsewhere. But, who are they to say? Whoops, flopped right out of there a second.

FEMINIST REFLECTIONS ON SUCKING PRESIDENTIAL DICK
by Monica Lewins..."


Didn't you see the big sign that says NO TL;DR POSTING HERE!

Just cuz you can get away with it in Art Graham's house doesn't mean you can get away with it here.

Deleting the offending post in T-minus 10 seconds: 9, 8, 7, 6....


message 12: by Douglas (new)

Douglas Hackle Oh, it was the right one, alright.


message 13: by Arthur (new)

Arthur Graham DeMunchies wrote: "NOBODY LOOKS AT YOUR STUPID BLOG, ANYWAY."

Uhhhh, at least ONE person apparently does!


message 14: by Arthur (new)

Arthur Graham Douglas wrote: "Just cuz you can get away with it in Art Graham's house doesn't mean you can get away with it here."

Sigh... I'm really sorry, Doug. Every so often, my racist, sexist, senile, megalomaniac grandpa escapes from the special home for racist, sexist, senile, megalomaniac Goodreads trolls I was forced to put him in after finding I could no longer keep a handle on him myself, what with all my dancing, prancing, romancing, world travel and other aspects of the extravagant lifestyle afforded by my wealth and status as an international publisher of feminist, sex-positive poetry and pornography. I keep thinking we should just pull the plug and put the old bastard out of his misery already, but you'll have to admit, when he's not being a TOP TROLL and MEAN MAN, he can at least be somewhat entertaining at times. My apologies once again.

xoxoxox,

Art Graham, Perverto Supreme and Dapper Don of Goodreads


message 15: by Douglas (last edited Jul 30, 2017 12:41PM) (new)

Douglas Hackle deleted user wrote: "Sure thing. The others just possibly offend brown skinned people; not the GR top reviewer.

Did it really offend the "GR top reviewer"?

Because due to the specific nature of your violation (i.e., posting a "TL;DR" post), I wouldn't know, now wouldn't I?


message 16: by Douglas (new)

Douglas Hackle Arthur wrote: "Sigh... I'm really sorry, Doug. Every so often, my racist, sexist, senile, mega..."

Heh, no need to apologize, my tiny little son.

Sure, I'll admit, he has his moments. Particularly when he's not, for example, calling people fat and ugly. (People have committed suicide for far less, ya know? But WainscotZ evidently doesn't care about such things. In fact, if asked about this, he'd likely respond: "Then let them do so and decrease the surplus population!!")


message 17: by Douglas (last edited Jul 30, 2017 01:01PM) (new)

Douglas Hackle SurlyF wrote: "Douglas wrote; "Did it really offend the "GR top reviewer"?"

Fuck off with the bullshit, doooood. Bitch made her unattractive profile private to me just before you pussied out.

Top reviewer can b..."


Pussied out? Again, I really have no idea what the fuck you're talking about, as I barely glanced at your TL;DR "monica lewinsky" post or whatever it was.

Don't have time for that shit. Remember, I'm a member of "THE UNTOUCHABLE ELITE." Shit, I'm fuckin' flying around in goddamn helicopter with motherfuckin' CM3 as I type this, dude!!! I ain't got no time for your small town, small potatoes, small dick nonsense, ya turd-jugglin' child molester!


message 18: by [deleted user] (last edited Aug 08, 2017 08:38AM) (new)

Arthur wrote; "Sigh... I'm really sorry, Doug. Every so often, my racist, sexist, senile, megalomaniac grandpa escapes from the special home for racist, sexist, senile, megalomaniac Goodreads trolls "

Sorry I missed this one. Thank you. One with all those credentials could well become President of the US; or even be a famous GR reviewer. You left out "wildly talented," but that was enough for all intents and purposes.

You might note that "SurlyF" is still alive by GR standards; even though I deleted him. There was a time when GR was doing everything in their power to get me off (No, not that way, Arthur.) but now that I'm a big star they won't let me leave. Next thing you know, I'm going to need a bodyguard.

Cheers, peon.


message 19: by [deleted user] (new)

Can I come on your blog? It might help with your zit problem.


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