Cheaters Aren’t The Wisest

Today’s lesson in wisdom is an old one: Cheaters will eventually get caught.

So, see what had happened was… You already know the direction where this is headed, don’t you? Okay, there’s this guy. Yes, it has to involve a person of the opposite sex for it to be such a moronic occurrence. Anyway, there’s a guy who claims to be interest and faithful. Now, before I go further, let me explained the technicalities. First, we aren’t a “couple” per se.  For one, we live in different towns. There’s an age difference, quite significant. Plus, we can busy schedules, mine I believe is more complex than his. So, those are the basics that must be kept in mind.

There are times when our lives become too hectic to communicate by phone or text. He doesn’t email or use social media. Sometimes, these stretches are a couple of days, and other times it may be a couple of months. And sometimes, they’ve been self-imposed for needing a break. When he doesn’t talk to me in a couple of weeks, he questions who I’m “fooling around with”; although, officially, that wouldn’t be his business. Nevertheless, I always answer the same: no one. If I’m too busy to pick up a phone and dial a number from my contacts, what makes him think I have time to fool around? No, boo, it’s called “working”. Simple. I work hard and juggle a lot. I pull long hours. Most people are used to me burning the midnight oil, and it not uncommon to find me away at 2:00 AM. My average sleep time is about 3-5 hours a day. I know that’s not great, but that’s how it is for me to get done what I need. However, for the last several months, I’ve not been feeling great (this sinus season is about to do me in), and I’ve been conking out earlier than usual. So, I may be asleep at 11:00 PM and missing those late-night calls. I do have to get up at 5:00 AM each day,

I don’t question him when he disappears, giving him the benefit of the doubt. But he always—and I do mean always—volunteers that he’s not seeing or hooking up with anyone during the periods of absences. Technically, it wouldn’t matter if he was, because, remember, we’re not a couple. So, it’s not really my business, which is why I don’t ask. But he treats it as if it is. Okay. So, be it.

That leads to the occurrence tonight. I’m doing some editing, a tedious task that I detest but know is a necessary evil. I’m working on a self-imposed deadline, and I’m days behind. Anyone who has ever had to edit know, editing is like budgeting for flipping a house. Expect unexpected overages and delays. So, my mood is already foul. But I decided to take a work break.

Now, for me, a work break means I stop doing the specific thing I’m doing and do something related. In editing, I’d come to a scene, and I questioned the male character’s perspective. Therefore, I shoot a text to this guy and ask for his opinion to a question. No, I didn’t tell him why I was asking. I simply texted the question and awaited a response.

Well, let me make a small confession. I kind of expected him to respond with a lie, for him to portray himself in a positive light. After knowing him for years and his past statements, his attitude towards certain groups isn’t very accepting. Although, if asked directly, he denies any bias. Also, he knows me well enough to know his honest answer is going to piss me off. So, yeah, I guess it was a trick question. But I’d rather be angry at an honest answer than a lie.

He responded, and his answer wasn’t important. See, he began reading things into the question and asking me questions. He began personalizing it. Even when I lead with a disclaimer not to read anything into it, he does. Everything is always subjective with him. Well, it’s been several days since we communicated. When we last talked, he abruptly ended the conversation, stating that his elderly mother was phoning him on the other line. His mother is in poor health; so, she is a top priority for him. To me, not only is it understandable that he cares for his mom is such a manner, but also commendable. Thus, I thought nothing of him ending the conversation. He never phoned back and went MIA for several days.

When I text him today, it was our first time communicating since then. He responded to my question with a side step answer, then began with the reading into it. He sent several messages. In the process, he sends me a photo of a woman who’s half nude. Now…

I like to consider myself rational. He’s sent other odd photos (like of a goat and wild pig) and then denied doing so. But never had he had a “slip” as this one. Naturally, I questioned why he would send me such a photo. His response, “It’s the dress attire for a party in Memphis.” Huh?

So, my next question isn’t what type of party this is; although, that does cross my mind. No, I want to know why he sent it to me. I text back that I don’t live in Memphis and even if I did, I wouldn’t attend a party like that. His response: “I know. I’m sorry.”

Yeah, sorry, you’re busted for doing what I already suspected anyway—talking to other women, hooking up, sexting, and whatnot. Fine, if that’s your thing, that’s your thing. But why not be straight up about it? Why do some people feel a selfish need to cheat in secret when they can be honest and openly do whatever they want? As I said, we’re not a couple, never have been. Am I hurt? Well, yeah, but not for reasons most think. I’m hurt, because he thinks I’m an idiot. I may not have the highest IQ in the room, but I’m wise to this game. So, score one point for me in the wisdom column. Try again, boo.