Camp isn’t just a row of tents.

62. Lights Out – R.L. Stine

Stine getting epistolary up in here. Yes, villain of the piece, it is amazing that you think turning “Camp Nightwing” to “Camp Nightmare” is a clever bit of wordplay. I don’t know how anyone overlooked your genius. I know main character Holly was too busy being scared shitless by virtually every outside-based beast that could be at a summer camp. Suck it up, Holly, solving the mystery is going to require more than startled screams. Or…maybe not.

I went to two summer camps in my time as a youth. At the first one, my cabin was awoken in the night by mating wild turkeys – that was loud and also confusingly terrifying. Plus we had to walk danceably to “Tears in Heaven” and put up the flag. When we were voting on songs I had not heard “Tears in Heaven” and if I had I would have vetoed that so hard. At the second one, I was awoken by a mouse running sideways up the plywood between bunks (not my bunk, I was in the middle, terrified) and into, then back out of one camper’s sleeping bag – it was one of the most terrifying things I have ever seen. My fellow witness and I never told her.

Mixtape –

1. Young Men Dead – The Black Angels

2. We’re All Swine – Those Poor Bastards

3. Sin Is In 10 – Bass Drum of Death

4. Hallucinations – The Raveonettes

5. Deep in the Woods – The Birthday Party

6. I Remember – Suicide

7. Houses in Motion – Talking Heads

8. In Your Wildest Dreams – Reverend Horton Heat

9. Girl Afraid – The Smiths

10. Treat Her Like a Lady – Cornelius Brothers & Sister Rose

11. Suffer No Fools – The Sword

12. Been a Son – Nirvana

13. Running Joke – Queens of the Stone Age

14. Moonlight – Lonesome Wyatt & the Holy Spooks

15. Angelfuck – The Misfits

16. My Buried Child – Swans

17. Bad Blood – Ministry

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It’s not her fault she can’t hold a flashlight to tell spooky stories.