Compassion – dealing with self, situations and others (change the shape).
Compassion – dealing with self, situations and others (change the shape).
As a follow-up to my previous article and others around self-love, I thought I would talk about something powerful and often times misrepresented “compassion”. Sometimes compassion is misrepresented as “love” which in some ways it resembles love but it’s more a friend of love as opposed to actually being it.
Compassion is defined as “sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of other”.
I would phrase compassion the act as the ability to look beneath the surface in a positive way to seek greater understanding provoking empathy.(This applies to dealing with self, others and situations).
In my own life past, present and future compassion have been the key in improving my relationship with self and also improving the way people experience me and Vise Versa. I’ve found that it also at most basic level makes life so much easier it’s actually quite unbelievable how so many including myself we’re just not aware of this as we throw positive vibes around like nobodies business or the perception of this at least and yet don’t really actually do it.
This does have a relevance to people being fixated and promoted to be so focused on reactions and outcomes (reactionary). Basically most of us are convinced that we have to react in a combative way when faced with obstacles or issues and basically go through hell to get what we want and to learn or progress in life – 100% this is a myth, you can actually learn and achieve just as much and more by being good to yourself and coming at situations and people with compassion and make leaps beyond what you can by holding onto and applying anger, hurt, resentment and vengeance. (Notice how you feel inside when you say all of those words out loud and which gives you the better feeling……. just saying ).
So let’s go for the examples dealing with situations with compassion (and I’m not saying it’s easy but it’s certainly worth it).
Compassion starts with you, do you know what it is and how to use it? are you being compassionate to yourself? Do you appreciate yourself? Do you treat yourself? Do you speak out what you value and appreciate about you?. These are all key as we can’t give out what we don’t have it just doesn’t happen it’s like you can’t give out money if you don’t have at – you have to build it up to do so.
Compassion requires a desire to make change (choices)-insight and awareness, this leads to our actions in life. It also enables foresight before actions which again ALOT of people miss and become friendly with hindsight instead .
When we have compassion we can give it to others and apply it to how we look at and deal with things. If people have hurt us in any way or impacted us in a way that has caused lasting problems in a negative way (or as we see it) look at this in a way of compassion who is the person? Why are they like that? Why did they do that? – as general rule people function in cycles that are familiar at basic form this is action leading to reaction.If we inject insight and awareness between the two that will provoke compassion and you can change the reaction and the cycle is broken and platform for change emerges .
In life and situations if the other person’s reaction or actions towards you are highly amplified in a negative way or not fitting of the energy/actions you give out (really be honest about this too) then that is speaking volumes about them, we can look at why this is for most positive results instead of mirroring them in our reactions or internalising this leading to self-detrimental thoughts and actions.
This also unlocks our own individual potential and can allow us to have a better relationship with self and form better bonds with others which really is what life is about.
Often times if we don’t do this we can hold onto blame provoking anger that then grows into hate (of self and others) then we feel a need to dampen this (drink, drugs, alcohol) we then lose clarity and act out usually leading to guilt AND then the entire thing starts again and goes round and round like a Ferris wheel except no ones enjoying the ride. It’s like putting two negative signs of a battery together you just wouldn’t do it- makes no sense.
That is not to say that compassion is to lose sight of and accept negative behaviours/people acting them out or patterns of the same ilk around us. No what it’s about is seeing, acting and feeling differently to move forward for yourself leading to a more fulfilling and hopefully less obstacle filled life. Then relaying this to other using your energy (trust me this will happen naturally). And we can find that we draw far more people and situations fitting of this energy as oppose to negativity- try it out!.
Ultimately having self-compassion and using compassion embodies good intention and if our intentions are good – well we can’t go far wrong in my experience.
We all have the option and ability to do this it’s really about making the choice to do so really, we have the opportunity to not function and act in a way we think we should or that we are told too by others based on the past or present.
“It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities”. Albus Dumbledore – Harry Potter and the chamber of secrets. J.K Rowling.
I will also do a sister oracle to this article for you all- hope you enjoy .
Jonathan
PS I have written a compassion oracle with will be up this week to help heal any blocks x
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