The offending scene…

This one is going behind a cut, so those who want to skip the story can. It's provided so you can see the context for my 200 page book being labeled porn for one scene of intimate contact:

"Um…I'm sorry." I start to lean away from Alice, but she slips her hand behind my neck. Her eyes meet mine, then flick down to my mouth. She still wants this, and once she's urging me back down, I can't think to resist her.

Why would I? I may have done everything I could to avoid this moment, but I had to know it would happen right at the start, at that first moment when I saw her practicing on her trampoline.

One kiss mingles into another, and I put my hand on her side. I want to touch her, to explore and learn what she likes. Alice must be wanting more contact too. She shifts on the couch, and then she straddles my legs, sitting up to press her body to mine.

My hands drop to her hips, but I stop myself from clutching her. "Alice," I whisper, surprised by my inability to talk in a normal voice. Alice tries to kiss me, but I bow my head. "No, wait."

Alice asks, "What's wrong?"

She sinks to seat herself, and in the process she slides over my hard-on. My fingers stick straight out. My body's instinct is to grab her hips, and I'm fighting with myself to the point where keeping my fingers straight is just as hard as lifting a loaded weight bar.

Alice stares at me with an uncertain expression, but when she shifts against me again, the light in her eyes changes. She raises on her knees, and then presses into me as she sinks. This time I can't stop myself from shifting to meet her body and maintain friction between us longer. Alice shivers and starts to raise herself again.

I grab her hips to ease her back. "Wait, please." I feel anxious, even irritated with her. "Alice, we can't do this. If we don't stop, I might mess up and hurt you."

"You wouldn't," she says.

"You don't understand." I almost feel like crying.

I'm trying to talk her down? Why?

But I know why. If I give in, I'll ruin everything. I'll get caught somehow, and I'll lose Alice. I'll lose my long shot chance at being a gymnast, and I'll lose my family and friends. I'll go back to the youth treatment center, or maybe even back to juvi.

I take a breath, trying to calm down. "Alice, please, try to think of this from my side. Anything I do with you is going to get me in trouble. I'll get caught, and I won't be allowed to see you anymore."

"I won't tell anyone," Alice promises.

I grimace. Sure, this is so much better. Now I'm the older guy telling her this will be our little secret. When they hold the trial, this is going to be the most damning testimony.

Alice kisses me hard, pressing her lips to mine almost as firmly as she presses her body to mine. She rises and sinks, fitting herself over my hips so that our bodies mesh together. She starts to breathe faster, and then I do too. I dip my head, burying my face in side of her neck to breath in her scent. I suckle the skin under her earlobe, and the brush of tiny hairs over my lips is as intoxicating as Judy's vodka. The scent of Alice is a drug more potent than anything the shrink could have prescribed.

My mouth opens, and I nip her collarbone between my teeth, making her whine. That sound makes my chest ache, but not with regret. The wolf in me growls, and I'm surprised when the rumble rises from my chest.

I stop thinking, and I close my arms around Alice to shift her off of my lap and lay her back on the couch. My mouth stays on her collarbone, but I release my bite and return to wet kisses. My efforts are making her writhe, and I start to stroke her sides. My left hand drifts further until I fit it between her legs. My touch makes Alice gasp and stiffen.

I freeze too, raising my head to look in her eyes. I frown when I find uncertainty. "Should I stop?"

Alice shakes her head. "No."

I should stop. I'm just getting myself in trouble.

My wolf asks, So what?

I unbutton the fly of her jeans and slip my fingers into her panties.

Alice's mouth falls open, and then she starts panting. I keep my touch light, but even this coaxes her to move. She bucks her hips, her body urging me to try more.

I can't. I want to, but some last vestige of common sense stops me from forcing my finger inside her. I still can't stop myself from touching her, and it doesn't take long to bring her off. Alice shivers, her body stiffening. Then she huffs air in quiet gasps, her face flush with a soft rose color as she stares at me.

I smile and say, "I'm going to do something gross, but please, don't be offended."

Alice nods, and I slip my hand out of her panties to suck on my fingers. I'm surprised when there's a wet explosion near the waistband of my jeans. It was like the taste of Alice was my own personal heroin, and even the tiniest fix was enough to push me over the edge.

Alice reacts to my perverted display, inhaling a soft gasp while her eyes go wide.

I pull my fingers out of my mouth and smile awkwardly. "Sorry."

Alice stares for a few seconds, and then laughs. "What do I taste like?"

I laugh too, stuck for an answer. "There's nothing else in the world like this. I can't compare you to anything, or anyone."

Alice smiles. God, she's perfect.

She asks, "Do I taste good?"

"You do to me, yes." I smile back. "But I guess you won't want to kiss me again until I've brushed my teeth?"

Alice huffs another laugh and pulls me down for a kiss.

We're still kissing when we hear a car door slam. Then we sit up and scoot away from each other. I arrange my shirt to hide the wet stain on my jeans, but make a mental note that I need to change them before dinner.

Alice grabs the remote and starts the video over just as David opens the front door and calls, "I'm home!"

Alice and I share a secret smile, the first of many, I'm sure.

 

—

Compare this scene to the final sewer sex orgy scene in IT, and ask yourself if this scene is porn. If this is porn, then so is the scene between Mona Mayfair and Michael O'Hare in Lasher. If this scene makes the whole book porn, then there's a lot of porno writers who I'm in good company with.

I stand by the contents of my book, and especially by this scene. I could have been much more vulgar, and I have in the course of writing other sex scenes. But I knew this scene would be hard to read and I worked hard to tone it down. Obviously, in the opinions of some people, I should not have written the book at all, but their dismissal of the contents based on this one scene will not deter me from promoting this book or from releasing the other books in the series.

So, you've seen the worst scene in the book, and you've seen all the proof afterward that shows how Peter regrets making this choice. If you still think it's porn, I don't think I'll ever convince you on any topic I might bring up here on my blog either.