For some perspective…

Select scenes from Peter the Wolf:

From chapter 21:

David asks, "Where are you going?"

"For a walk," I snap, but I pause at the doorway to glare at him. "Don't worry, I won't bother Alice with my problems."

David is still sputtering when I jog to the front door, open it, and slam it behind me.

I want to turn around and kick the door. Instead I take off running. I'm not going anywhere. I have no goal other than to keep running until I've burned out my anger.

I feel betrayed, and yet there's this guilty voice saying, But are they wrong? You molested Alice.

Every time my temper kicks up, that voice returns to pester me again, and that one word stabs me in the chest with shame. They're not wrong about me. I am a monster, and I'm screwing everything up because I can't stop myself from falling into old habits.

Note how it's Peter who uses the word molest to describe his intimacy with Alice. This is an admission that he did something wrong. Following this scene, Peter confesses first to his foster parents, and then to Alice's parents.

From chapter 29:

I make my confession as soon as I'm home on Sunday night, and this time, everyone is in on the meeting. I don't go into graphic detail, but I want them to understand why I won't be going to the gym anymore.

David tells me that he's proud of me for being mature enough to leave the team. I ruin it by pointing out that I've been seeing Alice behind their backs all this time. Then I point out that I didn't turn down Alice. We were stopped before I could get myself into more serious trouble.

In other words, I ain't no nice guy after all. I was just a guy who wasn't really being tempted convincingly enough.

There's no comeback, no attempt to make me feel better. Which is fine. I don't want to feel better.

Here, David tries to convince Peter that he's not so bad, and Peter acknowledges that yes, he is.

From Chapter 30:

"Well…" Alice stares at me with an uncertain expression. "I thought you wanted to have sex with me."

"Oh." I'm not sure what to say to this. "I do, but I don't think it's a good idea right now."

"Because you think I'm too young."

"Uh…well, yes, and no."

Alice scowls, looking confused. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Please, try to understand my problem. I was raised having sex almost every day. That made me into an addict and a predator." Alice shakes her head but before she can object I insist, "It's true, Alice. When I first approached you, part of my interest was because I wanted to be with you."

"I figured that out after your second visit." Alice huffs. "What, did you think I was just a naïve little girl who couldn't understand why an older guy was taking an interest in her?"

"Uh…well, yeah. I guess I did."

Alice's mouth flaps, and then she sighs. "Right, I keep forgetting you're an idiot."

I snort and ask, "What? Even with daily reminders?" But my smile softens. "Try to understand, I do want you. But right now, you're like the drug I'm not supposed to be taking again, or I'll lapse back into my addiction."

"You're not as bad as you think," Alice says.

"Yes, I most certainly am." I put a finger over her lips. "Hush, and listen. I want you to imagine the two of us getting married."

Alice smiles. "Okay, I can do that."

"Now imagine that we have a pretty little daughter who looks just like you."

Alice stops smiling when it dawns on her what I'm implying. "You wouldn't."

"I might if I don't beat this now. And maybe what really scares me is, I might never beat this. I don't…I don't want to be a threat to my own kids."

Here, Peter explains why he and Alice can't have sex, revealing that it has little to do with her, and everything about Peter's desire to get his sexuality under control. At the conclusion of this scene, Alice agrees to make no more attempts to push Peter until he's also ready. Does this read like someone proud of what they are?

From Chapter 38:

I sit down, and I stare at my hands, but it's a long time before I can find my voice. "I'm not normal, and I never was. You people tell me there's no such thing as normal, and then you pull me away from the others to examine me. You consider me abnormal enough to study, so why are you going to lie to me?"

"Yes, you're right." Dr. Taylor sits down. "But perhaps you can see why we worry?"

"No, I really don't. I don't understand why it is that you people made such a big deal of pulling me away from my parents, and then you wash your hands of me, like the only problem I had was just bad parents." I shake my head. "But because of them, I'm so messed up inside…and nobody has tried to fix that. You all just keep talking down to me and telling me to put these thoughts away, like I'm just a container for memories, and I'm not really affected by them. I'm not the one in denial, Dr. Taylor. Everyone else is in denial, thinking that I can just jump into normal society with no adverse side effects."

Dr. Taylor says, "And that upsets you, being neglected unless you act up."

I huff a bitter laugh. "Yeah, that's it right there. Nobody offers to help, or even to listen, not unless I snap and attack someone, or I snap and…and touch someone inappropriately. And then, they don't want to help. They just ask, 'what the hell is wrong with you, freak? Why can't you just be normal like everyone else?' Only I'm not, and no matter how often I say it you won't believe…"

The tears come as a hot flood, and I slump over in my seat as I start to cry. I'm angry, and I'm miserable. My mental scars feel fresh and raw, like I've been picking at them too long and I've reopened them all.

When I can raise my head, I see Dr. Taylor has moved around his desk, and he's kneeling in front of me, a box of tissues resting on his thigh.

It's the sympathy in his eyes that brings the words unbidden to my mouth. I whine, "I don't want to be a monster."

"I don't want to be a monster"… This hardly sounds like someone celebrating their corrupted sexuality, does it? It doesn't read to me like promotion of a lifestyle either, but maybe I'm just too close to the work to see how this is promoting Peter's sexuality as a healthy mindset, when not even Peter sees himself as healthy.

So, I'm sorry if the book's topic offends you, but any charges that the book is promoting this mindset are false. I honestly hope some of you will at least try the book rather than judge it based off the content of one scene.