Pain Center Excerpt #4: Kyle Meets Walter
“Hi, I’m Walter.”
I recognized him from the bus. “Kyle.” We shook hands.
“I hope you don’t mind, I took the outer bed. The light is better over here.”
“It is fine, I don’t mind.” I set my things down on my bed, and looked around. That’s when I noticed the bear sitting on the dresser, staring out at the room. A white polar bear. With a hat and a scarf.
“So, Walter,” said. “…like, what do you do…for a living?”
“I’m a stuffed animal surgeon. You?”
“A what?”
“I’m a stuffed animal Surgeon. I fix people’s stuffed animals.”
“You mean like teddy bears?”
“Among other things. Teddy bears, moose, tigers, fish, aliens, mice, whatever. People send them to me and I patch them up and send them on their way. I work off the Dark Net. That’s where most of my clients find me.”
“What do you mean ‘the dark net?’”
“It’s where other people go to buy drugs or form nationalistic groups or look at disturbing non mainstream porn. Only my clients have far less evil intentions than any of those folks. They just don’t want to be public about their business. That’s why I do such a good business. I keep it discreet.”
“Wow, I had no idea that any of this existed.”
“Most people don’t. There’s a good book out about this, if you’re ever interested. Most people are Facebook, e-mail, g-mail, Instagram, Twitter, porn, Netflix, YouTube, and a garden variety of other boring and moderately safe web sites… To find me you have to look a little harder. But I get a lot of traffic via word of mouth. They find me. I mean, you can’t google me or find me via conventional methods. But they find me. I have to be discreet with my clientele.”
“Yet you’re telling me all about this.”
He didn’t know what to say to that, and it created an awkward moment, that passed eventually without further comment...
I recognized him from the bus. “Kyle.” We shook hands.
“I hope you don’t mind, I took the outer bed. The light is better over here.”
“It is fine, I don’t mind.” I set my things down on my bed, and looked around. That’s when I noticed the bear sitting on the dresser, staring out at the room. A white polar bear. With a hat and a scarf.
“So, Walter,” said. “…like, what do you do…for a living?”
“I’m a stuffed animal surgeon. You?”
“A what?”
“I’m a stuffed animal Surgeon. I fix people’s stuffed animals.”
“You mean like teddy bears?”
“Among other things. Teddy bears, moose, tigers, fish, aliens, mice, whatever. People send them to me and I patch them up and send them on their way. I work off the Dark Net. That’s where most of my clients find me.”
“What do you mean ‘the dark net?’”
“It’s where other people go to buy drugs or form nationalistic groups or look at disturbing non mainstream porn. Only my clients have far less evil intentions than any of those folks. They just don’t want to be public about their business. That’s why I do such a good business. I keep it discreet.”
“Wow, I had no idea that any of this existed.”
“Most people don’t. There’s a good book out about this, if you’re ever interested. Most people are Facebook, e-mail, g-mail, Instagram, Twitter, porn, Netflix, YouTube, and a garden variety of other boring and moderately safe web sites… To find me you have to look a little harder. But I get a lot of traffic via word of mouth. They find me. I mean, you can’t google me or find me via conventional methods. But they find me. I have to be discreet with my clientele.”
“Yet you’re telling me all about this.”
He didn’t know what to say to that, and it created an awkward moment, that passed eventually without further comment...
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