BLOGWORDS – 22 May 2017 – NEW WEEK NEW FACE – GUEST POST – KRISTEN HEITZMANN

BLOGWORDS – 22 May 2017 – NEW WEEK NEW FACE – GUEST POST – KRISTEN HEITZMANN

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NEW WEEK NEW FACE – GUEST POST – KRISTEN HEITZMANN

 

 

[image error]Recently I was asked to name my favorite mother character in literature. I mentally went through the zillions of books I’d read, sure that the very best mother would be difficult to single out. Imagine my surprise when I was unable to recall a single one that shone. From the evil stepmothers of fairytales, to the cold, negligent woman who dropped Heidi on the Alp Uncle’s doorstep, to the drug-addicted bring-the-bad-boyfriends-home sort of woman who impacts so many modern novels, it struck me how many mothers were portrayed as villainous.

The second most common thing I found was the missing mother. This is different from the nasty ones. She is gone due to circumstances, personal sacrifice, or death. Those of us who have lost a mother know that emptiness doesn’t end. So it’s no wonder authors choose that route.

 

No one has such an impact on our personal development as a mother does. If we have a close mother-child bond we will develop differently than if it is distant or critical. A character-building motif in stories often revolves around a difficult parental relationship or a wonderful relationship cut short. Either creates a mother shaped hole the character periodically falls into.

There are, however, some stories with great mothers. In Jojo Moyes’s One plus One, Jess is a single mother trying to make her little girl’s dream of attending a top “maths” school come true. She has collected a goth teenage son whom neither her ex-husband nor the boy’s mother wants. Her generosity (though impoverished) honesty (though cheated and deceived) and compassion (though mistreated) are a beautiful example of a mother’s heart. When she fails in one of these it becomes a lesson to her loved ones and together they make it right.

In The Monk Downstairs / The Monk Upstairs by Tim Farrington, the mother character named Phoebe sees through people’s outer clutter of faults and insecurities to the soul within. Her love is unconditional. She also has a zest for life and delights in the absurd. You can’t read her and not want to be like that.

What stands out for both these characters is their acceptance of their offspring’s natures, desires, fears, and wounds—whether children or adults. Their willingness to protect and develop without forcing their own will and desires resonates in characters like Marmee in Little Women—the Proverbs 31 idealized mother. My tomboy self preferred the story of Jo March in Little Men and her creative parenting.