Sharing Is Caring, Ya'll

I've always been there for you.

Like the time you needed someone to finish off that last donut or four; it was me who stepped up to the plate. Then there was the concert you couldn't attend at the last minute, remember how I took the tickets off your hands, free of charge? And let's not forget all the birthdays and holidays I thought about getting you a gift.

You see how I've bent over backward to be there for you. And now, the time has come for you to be there for me. I'm speaking to those of...