Llamas Top Dogs in Obedience Class

Sit. Stay.

That's the only thing I remember from my Good Canine Citizens Certification class, although I don't follow the commands today.

It makes my parents feel better about themselves when they say those two words in front of people, expecting me to obey.

After a full minute of them trying to push my booty down on the ground, it invariably ends with a comment like, "He's usually much better than this."

My parents know it's a lie, I know it's a lie, and most of all the people they're...