Hope is the glue of relationships

When last time I wrote about ‘life partner is a matter of chance and not a choice,' I received several reactions on various forums. But, one reaction which compelled me to ponder more over the subject and take it forward was the wise advice of my friend that women should trust their instinct more while choosing a partner, and if something doesn’t feel right, they should feel empowered enough to walk away from a relationship.

It reminded me of an incident that took place around 15 years back. I visited my `newlywed friend, not on a good occasion but to condole his father’s demise. I met his wife for the first time who greeted me in her living room, while her husband (my friend) was to join us in few minutes as he was out somewhere.

I was shocked to hear her next sentence. She started complaining about her husband and that they were not on talking terms for the last two days, as she didn’t figure out in his priority list anywhere, and till late night every day he was busy chatting (yahoo chat was popular in those days) with his pen friends. She grumbled on a few more issues. Being a young girl myself, who believed in the binary nature of relationships, either perfect or nothing, was emotionally distressed to see my fellow female in the wretched state.She was so aggrieved that she ignored the purpose of my visit, even that we were meeting for the first time, our relationship, etc. and vented out in front of me. I couldn’t control myself any further and suggested her the separation from my friend before it gets too late. The girl was well educated, from an affluent family, and the only daughter of her parents, which made her empowered to take any critical decision in such a dire state. No longer could I finish my thoughts, she hopped from the couch with a scowl on her face, and screamed, ‘Are you here to ruin my married life?’I was left wondering about her life, and what was in there to ruin.

Folks, the lesson I learned that day was women express their negative emotions very quickly (even scientifically proved), but their passion of getting attached is much stronger than a man (again shown in a study). So walking away from a relationship is stopped by something more than empowerment. It's to a great extent influenced by attachment and hope.

As they say ‘Love is blind,' there's always a higher possibility of not seeing those red flags at first place, and if somehow you can observe them, hope, the offshoot of love stops you from recognizing it,

Unless it becomes brutal, women’s faith keeps their relationships alive; and most of the times, when their hopes flicker and diminish, it gets too late for them to walk away. Clinging to hope is a matter of culture too. The societies like Indian, teach a lot of patience to their girls, so the longevity of even troubled relationships is more.

Now the men who might read this post shouldn't be so ecstatic about female behavior and take them for granted as stats show something different. A review of the literature on divorce that appeared in the journal American Law and Economics Review in 2000 (I can’t find anything as comprehensive published since then) found that 60 percent to 80 percent of divorces in the U.S. are filed by women.
The World is changing rapidly, so is every culture.