The Fall that Changed it All

I was probably the first soldier in history to volunteer to go to Hot Box training. Under constant simulated attack, with no sleep, little time to eat, no outside contact outside of my few team mates, yeah it sounded fun to me. It probably was more about me feeling like I had something to prove to the men in my unit, which definitely seemed to be a common theme with me. Little water and dressed in big heavy chemical warfare gear during the summer in Tennessee, I’m sure I was pretty dehydrated when five days in, I got yanked to go to Air Assault School.
Since I first heard about Air Assault School I had this romanticized vision in my head. I was told it was the most rigorous school as a female soldier I could get sent to in the Army. So not even done with my specialized training, I already put in orders to go, and that was the whole reason why I got stationed in the 101st Airborne Division. I wanted to push myself and boundaries. I had joined the Army the first year of coed basic training, and was in a field newly opened to females. So pretty much everything I set out to do was to push the envelope. I grew up having a very tough single mother that road big Fat Boy Harleys and I was a bit of a tom boy, so basically nothing scared me. I was such a thrill seeker back then, and hell, still am.
Most people train, and rest before that first morning of Air Assault School where you have to pass a 4 mile run and insane obstacle course to get in. Me on the other hand, I was just glad I had a shower first. Near the end of the day and course I passed out at the top of an obstacle, called “The Tough One” which was 30 feet tall. I fainted at the top they said. I was also told because I didn't have any rope burns on my hands, which would have indicated someone had muscle failure and slid down, that I just blacked out from fatigue. Last I remembered, I was trying to pull myself over the top beam about 3 stories up. I woke up surrounded by medics standing over me. Since I was a female and probably slower than all the guys I’m guessing I was near the end of the group. There is no instructor positioned at the beginning of an obstacle to tell you how to navigate and pass each obstacle, only one instructor at the end to tell you if you passed correctly and flag you to go on to the next. So it may have been some time before I was noticed, and I don’t know how far an ambulance would have had to come from or how long the EMT’s were standing over me. I’m guessing I was probably out for 15-20 min, at least, but not sure. Lots of Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) survivors have a hard time judging how long they have been knocked unconscious. I’ve been told, it was a good thing I was unconscious for the fall because if I hadn't gone limp I would've broken my back and more. I landed on a hay barrel. I just found some current pics of the obstacle I fell off and posted them below. It looks like the Army has a better cushion for falls now, haha.
Someone asked me today if I would do it all again, and I quickly said no. I realized yesterday that I have now lived the last nineteen years with TBI and PTSD. That is half of my life. With more thoughtful consideration of the question, I honestly would have to say I would not change any of it. My life has been exactly what it was supposed to be. Yes, I have huge health problems, and spend each day wishing I was out hiking again. However, I know there is more in store for me in this life. I look back and can’t imagine if I didn’t have adversity to face. Without these struggles, I wouldn’t have to fight so hard to accomplish things in life. And that’s what builds character. Character I would not trade for one second of a pain free day, hands down. Reference: https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=...