Stopping the BULLY in His Tracks

​Today, I’m discussing something that’s a bit out of the ordinary for me to write about, but God has recently put this subject on my heart, wanting me to share it with others.



I’m talking about BULLYING.



Bullying comes in many different forms, especially these days of social media where any stranger from around the world can easily slander someone’s name and verbally attack anyone they want. The thing about cyber-bullying is that it can be easily stopped by using a thing called the BLOCK button. There’s no better way of stopping the Internet trolls than by clicking on that one little button.



Although cyberbullying can certainly be emotionally damaging to a person, today I’m going to concentrate more on physical bullying and young kids. This is where I hear God calling to me.

I’ll be speaking from personal experience as well as other’s testimonies of being bullied. Let me start with Jillian Michaels. Yes, THAT Jillian Michaels. The Queen of Tough!  

 





​Jillian’s Story:



Jillian’s story of how her attitude and personality transformed is a great example of what a little self-confidence can do for a person. She was a young teenager, seventy pounds overweight. I can only imagine what names she was called in school and how many kids poked fun at her because she was … slightly on the pudgy side.



She didn’t have any after-school activities and was under-supervised, so she decided to get involved in martial arts. Remember, we are talking ancient times here—before the Internet—when kids actually participated in after-school activities.  

  

As she practiced martial arts, she found herself, not only becoming slimmer, but she was becoming stronger! She also felt she could handle herself Batgirl-style if someone were to approach her in a threatening manner. She went from a timid, overweight girl who stared at the ground when she walked the school halls so not to make eye contact with anyone, to a tough Super Hero-style chick, prancing around, head held high, daring someone to have the guts to look her in the eye.



Her personality completely transformed! Her confidence level skyrocketed. And guess what? Nobody in their right mind was going to mess with this tough broad! One could say this is pretty much what set her on course for her future. She wanted to help others get their confidence back. She wanted to help others get lean, mean and ripped! And that’s exactly what she did!    

 



​My Story:



My family relocated to San Antonio when I was ten, which meant a new school and new friends. I never had an issue making friends; my problems started when two older girls (twelve and thirteen) fell head over heels in love with my older brother. These girls wanted to befriend me because of him (ah, the beginning of a long future of “fake” friends and being used in order to get closer to my brother. Yuck!)



Anyhoo, these two older girls were totally off their rockers. One day they would adore me and want to be best friends, and then the next day they would corner me somewhere and threaten to hurt me. Always so full of drama and chaos. They would make up lies just to have something to be upset about.



It got so bad that I would play sick so I wouldn’t have to go to school and face them. This went on for a few months (although it seemed like years to a frightened ten-year-old). Then one day my prayers were answered when an older girl (same age as the bullies) moved in next door. Her name was Yvonne and the devil himself had nothing on her. She was one tough chick, I’m tellin’ ya! It took all of ten seconds for her to make it clear to my bullies that they would not be bothering me again, and they happily obliged!   



Now let me tell you about Yvonne. She was not bigger than the bullies. She wasn’t trained in martial arts or self-defense. So why were my bullies so intimidated by her? It’s because she exuded confidence. She wasn’t scared of them and was more than happy to show them that she had no problems defending herself. Plain and simple, her level of confidence scared them away!  





​So that’s the end of my bullying story. Now here’s my point….



Let me explain how quiet, little, timid me cocooned and then emerged Super Hero-style, much like the transformation Jillian “Batgirl” Michaels went through.



My whole life changed when I was twelve and I came in contact with a shiny, pink notebook for young girls. This notebook had pretty, glossy pages with beautifully sketched pictures of how a young girl is to take care of herself. How to fix her hair, trim her nails, dress appropriately, put on lipstick, eat right and exercise to stay healthy. It all was very intriguing to me, to say the least.



This is how my obsession with exercise and fitness began. Over the summer, I emulated everything in this book. I started exercising—leg lifts, which is how I got my infamous legs, btw! And hand weights. Yes, I was twelve and lifting weights. I have three brothers and I was able to use their free weights and barbells.



When school started back up in the Fall, I realized something right off the bat. I was bigger than everyone else. I was tall, toned and strong! I, like Jillian, dared anyone to even look at me wrong.



Now let me get this straight right away … I NEVER used my newfound strength to bully anyone. But I did use it to make sure no one would ever mess with me again. And no one dared, they were all too scared of me. Not because of anything I said or did, but because my confidence was through the roof and it radiated off me!



My goal was not to scare people; it was really just to be fit, but it worked to my advantage. It had benefits I never imagined!  

 




I'd like to change King's quote up a bit and say this:
​The principles of self-defense, even involving weapons and bloodshed, has never been condemned, even by Jesus! In fact, Jesus went as far as to tell His disciples to carry weapons for their protection and if someone didn't have one then he should sell his cloak in order to buy one (Luke 22:36). Jesus believed in self-defense and practiced it.   



​

Now to the PARENTS:



CONFIDENCE is EVERYTHING!!! If you have a child who is being bullied (or not), put him or her into an after-school activity that will not only build their bodies to be strong, but will build their confidence to soar!



If the smallest kid in the school thinks he can whip the biggest kid’s butt, then chances are that’s exactly what he’ll do. I’ve known small guys who intimidated even the biggest of jocks because they had the confidence of Dwayne “Rock” Johnson! That level of boldness is enough to make the biggest, toughest dudes turn and walk the other way.



A little self-defense goes a loooong way!



If you feel like you can defend yourself, chances are you can! And it shows! Your confidence level is evident to everyone around you just by the way you make eye contact, the way you walk, and the way you conduct yourself. The bully will take one look at you and decide to move on because he’s not sure whether or not he’s safe around you.



Good! That’s the way you want to be viewed. People have told me my entire life that no one messes with me because I’m intimidating. I don’t go around looking mean and tough, far from it! But I do have an attitude that I can hold my own and I don’t back down. People who are out looking for trouble can see this in me and they move on.



If your kid is being bullied, all he or she needs is an attitude transformation.



Recently, I was talking with someone who teaches self-defense and he was telling me how every one of us needs to know how to defend ourselves. It doesn’t matter if we’re big, small, male, female, young or old. When we leave the house, we need to know we have the ability to stop someone if they try to hurt us, or at least put up a darn good fight to where they won’t be back!

 





​Think about this:



Say you decide to try out wrestling for a day and you have two opponents to choose from. One has been wrestling for several years and may even have a few trophies at home, and the other has never wrestled a day in his life. Who would you choose?



We all know what drives the bully the most … FEAR. Deep down the bully is a blubbering wimp and will avoid anyone he thinks may be a good match for him. He will always choose the weakest because that’s what he is … WEAK!



Most kids will find fitness and self-defense courses fun (I sure did, and I've been working-out ever since) and it could, likely, lead to a great healthy hobby for them, like it did with Jillian and me. I later went on to try out boxing, which I loved and have recently taken back up. I’m even into Krav Maga (and that ain’t no joke). In a day and age where the couch potato is king, fitness is a must.



Recently, there was a video floating around the Internet of a big kid at school bullying another (smaller, of course) student. Apparently, this was a regular thing. The smaller kid must have taken some self-defense lessons, or something, because he turned around one day and just came alive. He defended himself and left the bully lying on the ground as he continued on his way.



I’m not advocating violence. Don’t twist it! It’s called SELF-DEFENSE for a reason. It’s so if we are ever faced with a situation where someone threatens bodily harm to us, we have the ability to defend ourselves, and that’s exactly what this kid did. When he was attacked, he was able to defend himself and stay safe.



Your child needs to feel confident that he or she can protect themselves if need be. It will change their world. I promise you! It will put an end to bullying, or even better, keep it from happening in the first place!