When You HATE Someone

​Hate and unforgiveness.

These two things are the hardest to deal with, and every time I talk about them, people will write me and ask how a person stops hating and starts forgiving. They believe they can’t replace hate with love, or let go of the past.


If you think you can’t do it either, let me tell you something ….



IF I CAN DO IT, ANYONE CAN DO IT!



I struggled with hate and unforgiveness for many years. If someone did me wrong, I made sure they’d pay for it, and they did! I was the Queen of Revenge! And I was really, really good at it.

So how did the Queen of Revenge become the Queen of Forgiveness?



I’m going to share this with you, knowing you can do it, too!



The first mistake we make is trying to forgive for the wrong reason. We try to justify what’s been done to us and when we can’t do that, we find that we can’t forgive. Why? Because we feel the other person doesn’t deserve it.



Don’t focus on how you’ve been wronged. Don’t even focus on the other person. Focus only on the fact that God commands we must forgive our trespassers. Forgiveness has NOTHING to do with the person who’s wronged us, and EVERYTHING to do with GOD! We forgive because God commands it. But did you know when we forgive our enemies, we also become victorious over them? That’s quite a motivator, isn’t it? :-)~  



​And let's not forget, forgiveness brings peace and healing!​



​I have a great testimony about hate and forgiveness, and I share it all the time! It changed my life and revealed a lot about God to me. I used to work with a woman I LOATHED!!! I hated her so much that it kept me up at night. I dreaded going to work because I had to deal with her and her crooked business practices. So every day when I got home, I would confess to God what was in my heart. I would tell Him how much I hated her, and then I would repent and ask Him to help me to love her instead. Then I would pray for God to bless her and her family. In fact, I was praying for her more than myself.

This is the point where I get asked, “How were you able to pray for her and find love in your heart for someone you hated?” I could do this because I wasn’t focusing on how she had wronged me; I was focusing on being obedient to God. All I cared about was making sure I did right by Him. I also knew she WASN’T being obedient to God, and that He would give me favor in the situation.

Side Note: In my quest to love and forgive, I never lost focus over the fact that she was my enemy and was out to hurt me. God promises to protect us against our enemies, so I would pray His Word for PROTECTION. (Read Psalm 35.)

​“Fight my enemies, Lord! Attack my attackers! Shield me and help me.
    Aim your spear at everyone who hunts me down, but promise to save me.
  Trap them in their own nets and let them fall and rot in the pits they have dug.”



​It didn’t matter if anyone else could see how this person had wronged me. It didn’t matter if anyone else agreed with my position. God saw it, and He knew the TRUTH! While she was consumed with anger and plotting revenge against me, I was praying for her and asking God’s forgiveness and blessing in the situation. But I was also praying protection around myself.



This is how miracles are formed and mountains are moved. When you bypass your flesh to be obedient to God’s Word, He will MOVE MOUNTAINS for you. You will WIN!! No ifs, ands, or buts about it. You have got the VICTORY. You hold it in your hands when you stay in God’s obedience while under attack from the enemy.



Because I stayed obedient to God when my flesh really wanted to act out and get revenge, God used that woman’s evil deeds against me to bless me more than ever before. He removed me from that job (which He had promised me He would), and placed me on a completely different path.     



I went back to school and finished my B.S.in Theology and graduated summa cum laude. Then I started my dream career of writing books, which has been very prosperous for me. The fact that I get to wake up every day and do what I love in life is a Godsend and a dream come true! I got the blessing because I stayed obedient to God!



​EVERYTHING in life is ALWAYS all about GOD!



God will use the evil deeds of your enemies to benefit and prosper you! I was meant to be in the position I am right now; to be writing for His glory. He used my enemy’s evil to bless me and place me where He wanted me.



As for her? Let’s just say she got stuck in that job, which she hated—working for a man she hated even more—and last I heard she was selling shampoo.



But do remember what God says about giving us victory over our enemies … He warns us to never GLOAT. Thank Him for your victory and then share your testimony, but never rejoice in your enemy’s downfall. “Do not gloat when your enemy falls; when they stumble, do not let your heart rejoice,” Proverbs 24:17. God gets the glory, then move on.



God is a God of Justice. “Therefore the Lord longs to be gracious to you, And therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you. For the Lord is a God of justice; How blessed are all those who long for Him.” Isaiah 30:18



God brought me this verse after defeating my enemy for me, and it’s one of my favorites now:

“As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result,” Genesis 50:20.