UPDATES
Still writing.Still sexy.
Still just doin' my Arthur Graham thiz-ang, all damn diz-ay.
2017 is barely out the gate, and I've already got exciting news to share:
BOOKS
- i wrote a poem about you, my debut poetry collection
- The Sugar House Papers, my five chapbooks from 2016
- HST Quarterly: Spring 2017 (March 7th)
PODCASTS
- Losing The Plot (February 19th)
- Bizzong! (March 6th)
INTERVIEWS
- Indie Revolution (March 11th)
message 1:
by
Jeff
(new)
Feb 16, 2017 07:56PM
Pleeeeeeese tell you ain't stuffin'
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message 3:
by
Karlyflower *The Vampire Ninja, Luminescent Monster & Wendigo Nerd Goddess of Canada (according to The Hulk)*
(new)
*dies* you're such a whore... And at least a buzzed one, if not a drunk one, by the looks of that bottle....
Karly *The Vampire Ninja, Luminescent Monster & Wendigo Nerd Goddess of Canada (according to The Hulk)* wrote: "*dies* you're such a whore... And at least a buzzed one, if not a drunk one, by the looks of that bottle...."Guilty as charged, but I could drink that whole bottle for breakfast, darlin'.
message 6:
by
Karlyflower *The Vampire Ninja, Luminescent Monster & Wendigo Nerd Goddess of Canada (according to The Hulk)*
(new)
I would expect nothing less of you, Elfish Arthur ;)
message 7:
by
Karlyflower *The Vampire Ninja, Luminescent Monster & Wendigo Nerd Goddess of Canada (according to The Hulk)*
(new)
Also...... Wow, your leg hair is mesmerizing.... *had too much wine.... Ooops*
Karly *The Vampire Ninja, Luminescent Monster & Wendigo Nerd Goddess of Canada (according to The Hulk)* wrote: "Also...... Wow, your leg hair is mesmerizing.... *had too much wine.... Ooops*"It's pretty nice, I know.
As far as stuffin' goes, one ankle sock is okay. I mean, c'mon, right?
Anything more than that is cheatin'.
message 10:
by
Karlyflower *The Vampire Ninja, Luminescent Monster & Wendigo Nerd Goddess of Canada (according to The Hulk)*
(new)
*is fascinated* is that like a thing??? Like one size padding a bra is acceptable but two, or heaven forbid three, is just false adversizing??
I think everyone here wants MORE OIL. Except me, of course.
Wow! Karly's right! You could use those gams for a hair transplant!
Holy shit! I need that picture for my wall
Janie wrote: "You could use those gams for a hair transplant!"You should see my backside...
Arthur wrote: "Janie wrote: "You could use those gams for a hair transplant!"You should see my backside..."
Does it have a centre parting?
FabulousRaye wrote: "Holy shit! I need that picture for my wall"Will send you the poster-sized version.
Wasn't planning on getting aroused today. Then I saw this...
What a slut! I used to think you were bullshitting. No doubt you'll now find a load of women interested in your "poetry" and get rich.
But, hey, hey. Lissenup bro. Once tried to git me inta one of dem bikini tings, and no fuckin' way dat was happenin'. Nowhumsayin?
I'll have you know that I still retain some pride and will never make any attempt to capitalize on the photos. I will be literarily evaluated based solely on my words.
But, hey, hey. Lissenup bro. Once tried to git me inta one of dem bikini tings, and no fuckin' way dat was happenin'. Nowhumsayin?
I'll have you know that I still retain some pride and will never make any attempt to capitalize on the photos. I will be literarily evaluated based solely on my words.
SonnyL wrote: "No doubt you'll now find a load of women interested in your "poetry"."More gay dudes than anything, really, but I guess it makes sense, as I am distantly related to Liza Minnelli...
message 23:
by
Karlyflower *The Vampire Ninja, Luminescent Monster & Wendigo Nerd Goddess of Canada (according to The Hulk)*
(new)
SonnyL wrote: "No doubt you'll now find a load of women interested in your "poetry" *can't tell if sarcasm or not*
Bwahahahaha, oh yes.... with that animal pattern encased poetry I'm sure the ladies will come arunnin' *death by snickers*
If anything I think he may be making a case against himself.... but whatevs *shrugs*
Karly, everybody knows that guys only write poetry to get laid. It's not like there's any money in it.
message 25:
by
Karlyflower *The Vampire Ninja, Luminescent Monster & Wendigo Nerd Goddess of Canada (according to The Hulk)*
(new)
Arthur wrote: "Karly, everybody knows that guys only write poetry to get laid. It's not like there's any money in it."*dies laughing*
*moderately tweaks statement*
Karly, everybody knows that guys only
message 27:
by
Karlyflower *The Vampire Ninja, Luminescent Monster & Wendigo Nerd Goddess of Canada (according to The Hulk)*
(new)
Arthur wrote: "Don't you poet-shame me."Heh. I write poetry..... very bad poetry.... that I never let people read unless I'm feeling self-destructive.
I salute you for releasing your poetry on the masses, darlin'.
Karly *The Vampire Ninja, Luminescent Monster & Wendigo Nerd Goddess of Canada (according to The Hulk)* wrote: "I write poetry..... very bad poetry...."Then you'd be a shoo-in for the quarterly! Plus, it can be kind of a sausagefest with all these fellas, so more lady voices are always welcome.
message 29:
by
Karlyflower *The Vampire Ninja, Luminescent Monster & Wendigo Nerd Goddess of Canada (according to The Hulk)*
(new)
Hahahaha. Well I'm flattered to be considered a poetry "chicky-buffer" and all :P
Lol, you should be! If only you were also brown...Still, Canadian equals some kinda diversity, amirite?
Arthur wrote: "Lol, you should be! If only you were also brown...
Still, Canadian equals some kinda diversity, amirite?"
Frenchy nucks with a seperatist and contradictory streak according to DFW. Think he dug poor-ass west Texas; but that guess is not yet confirmed.
Still, Canadian equals some kinda diversity, amirite?"
Frenchy nucks with a seperatist and contradictory streak according to DFW. Think he dug poor-ass west Texas; but that guess is not yet confirmed.
Karly *The Vampire Ninja, Luminescent Monster & Wendigo Nerd Goddess of Canada (according to The Hulk)* wrote: "Arthur wrote: "Karly, everybody knows that guys only write poetry to get laid. It's not like there's any money in it."
*dies laughing*
*moderately tweaks statement*
Karly, everybody knows that..."
The babes like to think that, so we make 'em happy like always.
*dies laughing*
*moderately tweaks statement*
Karly, everybody knows that..."
The babes like to think that, so we make 'em happy like always.
message 33:
by
Karlyflower *The Vampire Ninja, Luminescent Monster & Wendigo Nerd Goddess of Canada (according to The Hulk)*
(last edited Feb 17, 2017 01:41PM)
(new)
*blinks slowly*I suppppppose so.....
*isn't from Quebec*
Karly said; *can't tell if sarcasm or not*
Thank you. That means I'm finally getting good at it. But, no; it's the truth. Even my sainted mama said so.
And I think that when you SUBMIT your poetry to Arthur; a photo and a brief bio is required.
Fuck, like I gotta get the Cupid role again. I wannabe like that outlaw dude that makes Jennifer Lopez forget she's a cop. Fuck. Elmore Leonard thought it up and they paid him for the movie rights.
Thank you. That means I'm finally getting good at it. But, no; it's the truth. Even my sainted mama said so.
And I think that when you SUBMIT your poetry to Arthur; a photo and a brief bio is required.
Fuck, like I gotta get the Cupid role again. I wannabe like that outlaw dude that makes Jennifer Lopez forget she's a cop. Fuck. Elmore Leonard thought it up and they paid him for the movie rights.
message 35:
by
Karlyflower *The Vampire Ninja, Luminescent Monster & Wendigo Nerd Goddess of Canada (according to The Hulk)*
(new)
Heh. Will a standard picture work, darlin', I don't doooooo animal prints?! (Also hasn't agreed to submit anything) Bio:
Her name is Karly. Like all people, she loves some things and hates others. You can find her in Canada, sitting on her couch, with a shotgun in one hand and a beer in the other. One of the things she hates is visitors, extraterrestrial or otherwise.
Karly *The Vampire Ninja, Luminescent Monster & Wendigo Nerd Goddess of Canada (according to The Hulk)* wrote: "Heh. Will a standard picture work, darlin', I don't doooooo animal prints?! (Also hasn't agreed to submit anything)
Bio:
Her name is Karly. Like all people, she loves some things and hates other..."
Arthur! Arthur! You passed out again? Damn. The lady is waiting. Unless you're really diggin' that Andy shit. IDK.
Karly; Quebecois reference top drawers.
Bio:
Her name is Karly. Like all people, she loves some things and hates other..."
Arthur! Arthur! You passed out again? Damn. The lady is waiting. Unless you're really diggin' that Andy shit. IDK.
Karly; Quebecois reference top drawers.
message 37:
by
Karlyflower *The Vampire Ninja, Luminescent Monster & Wendigo Nerd Goddess of Canada (according to The Hulk)*
(new)
Who you calling a lady ;)??
Karly *The Vampire Ninja, Luminescent Monster & Wendigo Nerd Goddess of Canada (according to The Hulk)* wrote: "Her name is Karly. Like all people, she loves some things and hates others. You can find her in Canada, sitting on her couch, with a shotgun in one hand and a beer in the other. One of the things she hates is visitors, extraterrestrial or otherwise. "This is amazing.
message 39:
by
Karlyflower *The Vampire Ninja, Luminescent Monster & Wendigo Nerd Goddess of Canada (according to The Hulk)*
(new)
SonnyL wrote: "Karly; Quebecois reference top drawers."This has to be some hip lingo that is lost on me.....
I mean it's a given that when making fun of Canadians it's one of three things:
1) igloos
2) Quebec (which, I'll be honest, I do this)
3) Easterners (Usually the trainwreck that is the Nova Scotia accent..... but basically anything over that way is near incomprehensible)
SonnyL wrote: "Fuck, like I gotta get the Cupid role again."Sonny, Karly is always up for witty banter and flirty fun, but you should know that I gave up trying to woo her ages ago. She knows better than to get involved with a scoundrel like me, and anyway she seems to have a perfectly nice boyfriend already. Besides, who am I kidding thinking there's room for even MORE women in my life?
message 41:
by
Karlyflower *The Vampire Ninja, Luminescent Monster & Wendigo Nerd Goddess of Canada (according to The Hulk)*
(new)
*dies laughing*...... perfectly nice boyfriend Oh man *snorts*
I'm telling CQ this bullshit when I get home...... he's soooooo gonna wanna kick your arse!
Thank you, heatherdoll.... my life's goal is to make people laugh ;)
Karly *The Vampire Ninja, Luminescent Monster & Wendigo Nerd Goddess of Canada (according to The Hulk)* wrote: "Who you calling a lady ;)??"
You're funny. Yeah, I know. My wife taught me not to use that word about 45 years ago; as it implies a value judgement.
So, I was trying to be borderline politically incorrect in humor; and you made a great response.
I'm really not hitting on you. I'm married. Periodically happily. But, with all that going for you; why do you bother with Arthur Graham? I mean like he looks all right if the photos are real, but did you ever talk to him? You start going; "What? ..... What?" real quickly. The guy idolizes Mark Leyner. Sheesh.
You're funny. Yeah, I know. My wife taught me not to use that word about 45 years ago; as it implies a value judgement.
So, I was trying to be borderline politically incorrect in humor; and you made a great response.
I'm really not hitting on you. I'm married. Periodically happily. But, with all that going for you; why do you bother with Arthur Graham? I mean like he looks all right if the photos are real, but did you ever talk to him? You start going; "What? ..... What?" real quickly. The guy idolizes Mark Leyner. Sheesh.
SonnyL wrote: "The guy idolizes Mark Leyner. Sheesh."Hey, at least I don't butt into every discussion I can find, just so I can try making it all about DFW.
Karly *The Vampire Ninja, Luminescent Monster & Wendigo Nerd Goddess of Canada (according to The Hulk)* wrote: "SonnyL wrote: "Karly; Quebecois reference top drawers."
This has to be some hip lingo that is lost on me.....
I mean it's a given that when making fun of Canadians it's one of three things:
1) ..."
You did that on accident? That's even better than I thought. In one of my two favorite books; I've read 22; "Infinite Jest," DFW's main protagonist at the beginning's mother is half a Queecois seperatist by birth, in a future world where Canada and Mexico have combined with the US to produce ONAN, which .............
Ah, shit on it. Drawers is drawers,
This has to be some hip lingo that is lost on me.....
I mean it's a given that when making fun of Canadians it's one of three things:
1) ..."
You did that on accident? That's even better than I thought. In one of my two favorite books; I've read 22; "Infinite Jest," DFW's main protagonist at the beginning's mother is half a Queecois seperatist by birth, in a future world where Canada and Mexico have combined with the US to produce ONAN, which .............
Ah, shit on it. Drawers is drawers,
Arthur wrote: "SonnyL wrote: "Fuck, like I gotta get the Cupid role again."
Sonny, Karly is always up for witty banter and flirty fun, but you should know that I gave up trying to woo her ages ago. She knows bet..."
Can't argue with that. I'm a much too innocent novice.
Sonny, Karly is always up for witty banter and flirty fun, but you should know that I gave up trying to woo her ages ago. She knows bet..."
Can't argue with that. I'm a much too innocent novice.
message 46:
by
Karlyflower *The Vampire Ninja, Luminescent Monster & Wendigo Nerd Goddess of Canada (according to The Hulk)*
(last edited Feb 17, 2017 02:43PM)
(new)
Ah, well borderline politically incorrect humour is basically the spice of my life...... my home is basically one giant politically incorrect statement after another. I was, in fact, aware that you weren't making a pass at me. And despite what he may say to the contrary mine and Arthur's friendship isn't ALL sex jokes and backwards compliments..... okay, well basically it is but it amuses me.
Arthur wrote: "SonnyL wrote: "The guy idolizes Mark Leyner. Sheesh."
Hey, at least I don't butt into every discussion I can find, just so I can try making it all about DFW."
I only but into the ones which are intelligent or the ones which allow me. And OK, yeah; I segue into IJ or DFW quickly; as its one of the few books I've actually read; and most bimbos like you get sensitive because they don't understand it. Gives me the upper hand. And you make every conversation about your schwantz.
I've had a horrid life. ***crying uncontrollably*** Nobody likes me and if I waited for someone to talk to me I'd have never learned how to speak. See, like Leyner, it all started with my mother ***more uncontrollable tears flood the keyboard*** I've even tried scraping the absolute bottom of the barrel, by talking to Bizarro or Bizarro fringe guys ***the tears are too much to go on***
Hey, at least I don't butt into every discussion I can find, just so I can try making it all about DFW."
I only but into the ones which are intelligent or the ones which allow me. And OK, yeah; I segue into IJ or DFW quickly; as its one of the few books I've actually read; and most bimbos like you get sensitive because they don't understand it. Gives me the upper hand. And you make every conversation about your schwantz.
I've had a horrid life. ***crying uncontrollably*** Nobody likes me and if I waited for someone to talk to me I'd have never learned how to speak. See, like Leyner, it all started with my mother ***more uncontrollable tears flood the keyboard*** I've even tried scraping the absolute bottom of the barrel, by talking to Bizarro or Bizarro fringe guys ***the tears are too much to go on***
message 48:
by
Karlyflower *The Vampire Ninja, Luminescent Monster & Wendigo Nerd Goddess of Canada (according to The Hulk)*
(new)
*hasn't read Infinite Jest**has never really thought about reading it, to be honest*
*likes bizarro fiction and penis jokes*
*is basically a twelve-year-old boy*
SonnyL wrote: "And you make every conversation about your schwantz."Touché.
Karly *The Vampire Ninja, Luminescent Monster & Wendigo Nerd Goddess of Canada (according to The Hulk)* wrote: "*hasn't read Infinite Jest**has never really thought about reading it, to be honest*
*likes bizarro fiction and penis jokes*
*is basically a twelve-year-old boy*"
So much this Karly, I can't even. *cackles madly while trying to wipe the tears*
