UPDATES

descriptionStill writing.

Still sexy.

Still just doin' my Arthur Graham thiz-ang, all damn diz-ay.

2017 is barely out the gate, and I've already got exciting news to share:

BOOKS
- i wrote a poem about you, my debut poetry collection
- The Sugar House Papers, my five chapbooks from 2016
- HST Quarterly: Spring 2017 (March 7th)

PODCASTS
- Losing The Plot (February 19th)
- Bizzong! (March 6th)

INTERVIEWS
- Indie Revolution (March 11th)
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Published on February 16, 2017 18:40
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message 52: by [deleted user] (last edited Feb 17, 2017 04:21PM) (new)

Karly said; 1) *hasn't read Infinite Jest*
2)*has never really thought about reading it, to be honest*
3)*likes bizarro fiction and 4)penis jokes*
5)*is basically a twelve-year-old boy*

1) No big thing; no pun intended. We all have our shortcomings.
2) Broad minded people, no pun intended, are my favorites.
3) It's up there for me too, no pun intended. 6 of 50 were interesting.
4) Now I understand the friendship with Arthur.
5) Pre- pubescent? Is it bigger than Arthur's yet?


message 53: by [deleted user] (last edited Feb 17, 2017 04:20PM) (new)

All kidding aside; Arthur is quite all right with me. He's been all pissy with me lately for a whole slew of reasons, the center likely that he thinks I'm lying about stuff, while I just address things from differing points of view. For example, if I rate a book, I can
1) Say I like it or not.
2) Attempt a pro review by putting it in historical context and then extrapolating what I think is the author's intent and whether or not they accomplished that.
3) Discuss it from a mass market (commercial) standpoint, insofar as anyone knows what that is.
4) Try to do a humor bit.
5) Ignore the book entirely and do a "day in the life" thing like some GR reviewers (not you) do.
6) Be purposely obtuse and get onto some psychological nonsense I don't believe in myself.

I guess it might be confusing, and the truth is that I don't like doing them at all.

Saw you have "Editorial" on your list. Great book; five stars. Even better is "The Rooster Republic Years," which contains "Editorial" and three or four others; all of which are good. The only one I had any trouble with was the opening one "Dali's Cock." Guess what that's about? What saved it for me was a fantastic closing line.


Karlyflower *The Vampire Ninja, Luminescent Monster & Wendigo Nerd Goddess of Canada (according to The Hulk)* Heh. I have done many of those styles of reviews...... including #5..... actually some of my 'day-in-the-life' style reviews seem to be people's favourites.... my most recent was my overly belated review of a favourite Lost Souls...

Heh. Penis humour is only usurped by gonad humor, a la Villa Incognito by Tom Robbins.... which, come to think of it, is another of my random has little to do with the book reviews *shrugs*

*sassy voice*

I do what I want mmmmmmkay?


jenn *mother of dragon & snake* Karly *The Vampire Ninja, Luminescent Monster & Wendigo Nerd Goddess of Canada (according to The Hulk)* wrote: "*high fives Jenn*"

*high fives back*
description


message 56: by [deleted user] (new)

Karly said; "I do what I want mmmmmmkay?"

Hey, you hear me tellin' you what to do? Long before feminism or the 60's I've made a point of not doing that (except sometimes in sarcasm) and insist on the same.

Kind of simple, right? So, how come 95% of the world can't deal with it?


Karlyflower *The Vampire Ninja, Luminescent Monster & Wendigo Nerd Goddess of Canada (according to The Hulk)* All good things. I didn't actually think you were telling me what to do, SonnyL.


message 58: by A. (new)

A. Blumer SonnyL wrote: "I'll have you know that I still retain some pride and will never make any attempt to capitalize on the photos."

Whoopsy.

...oh wait, I still have all my pride. Pheww.


message 59: by [deleted user] (last edited Feb 18, 2017 01:43PM) (new)

Well, yeah. I mean like uh, there's a point at which the piss hits the water; you know. You're on the bridge, and you've been holding it a while; and the only possible witnesses would need a telescopic lense; so you kind of let matters fly. No problem.

But other times it's prudent to wait for an advance. They're lurking under the rocks, thinking no one sees them; but you been around the block once or twice, and you can tell a mole's head from a stone. They're gonna try to do their one time bit at your expense and maybe that's OK on vacation, but not so hot in the hood.

So like Bobby said way back; "Hey baby, do you want to make a deal?" See, thing is that the only difference between a po ass ho and a cultured lady is the latter's ability to hold it.

You can fill in the rest of the story, if it's not particularly trite.


message 60: by Arthur (new)

Arthur Graham Just a quick heads-up that my first podcast appearance for 2017 has just gone live:

https://soundcloud.com/losingtheplotp...


message 61: by [deleted user] (new)

Don't you ever consider your obligations to the book world? Damn egoist. Now the readers are doing much less reading as they're sitting there masturbating all day. I hope you're happy that you've damaged books like an amazon.


message 62: by Casey (new)

Casey Kiser come closer so I can read the label


message 63: by Arthur (new)

Arthur Graham Oh, I'm not falling for that...


message 64: by [deleted user] (new)

There's must be something going on which does not meet the eye.


message 65: by Nefariousbig (new)

Nefariousbig MEAT STAAAAAAAAAARE has taken to the internets. And I thought that was reserved for the chosen few at TFW.
(Still not gonna look). Sorry I was late to this party, I had a lunch thing. Heh.


message 66: by [deleted user] (new)

Nefariousbig wrote: "MEAT STAAAAAAAAAARE has taken to the internets. And I thought that was reserved for the chosen few at TFW.
(Still not gonna look). Sorry I was late to this party, I had a lunch thing. Heh."


Oh, yeah right. And I suppose that you think Arthur is going to settle for sloppy seconds.


message 67: by Nefariousbig (new)

Nefariousbig he's settled for pretty much everything else except boring underpants so...Yeah... I do.

PS. Arthur is my little brother so I say that with pride.


message 68: by [deleted user] (new)

Nefariousbig wrote: "he's settled for pretty much everything else except boring underpants so...Yeah... I do.

PS. Arthur is my little brother so I say that with pride."


What's so boring about underpants? I get a real kick out of the Depend Adult Undergarments myself.

OK, Arthur. Belittle me once again for bringing in you know who and you know what. But be kind as it was less obvious this time and I've not yet gotten to the Billary marathon.


message 69: by Arthur (new)

Arthur Graham I have no idea what's going on here, but it pleases me that people are still talking about my underpants.


message 70: by Nefariousbig (new)

Nefariousbig Arthur wrote: "I have no idea what's going on here, but it pleases me that people are still talking about my underpants."

Darling, you need never worry about people NOT talking about your underpants since we've all had the privilege of seeing so many of them. I'll just say at least they LOOK clean.


message 71: by Arthur (new)

Arthur Graham Nefariousbig wrote: "Darling, you need never worry about people NOT talking about your underpants since we've all had the privilege of seeing so many of them. I'll just say at least they LOOK clean."

You can smell test, if you'd like.


message 72: by [deleted user] (new)

Arthur wrote: "Nefariousbig wrote: "Darling, you need never worry about people NOT talking about your underpants since we've all had the privilege of seeing so many of them. I'll just say at least they LOOK clean..."

Remotely or in place?


message 73: by Arthur (new)

Arthur Graham SonnyL wrote: "Remotely or in place?"

The day they invent THAT technology...


message 74: by [deleted user] (new)

Arthur wrote: "SonnyL wrote: "Remotely or in place?"

The day they invent THAT technology..."


Think it was you who missed this one; this two; whatever. One's even accomplishable through archaic snail mail and the other requires an in-person date; you know like Bukowski used to have.

I've been reading some testimony which suggests that bars are the best place to sell poetry anyway. So ..................


message 75: by [deleted user] (new)

Hint. Your post indicates that you have stepped into the trap on the path of science fiction writers. While it is a benefit to invent a world more convenient to one's thoughts; one has to remember that the next things written have to conform with the paper world rather than the one in one's head. Otherwise you wind up like Borges.


message 76: by Arthur (new)

Arthur Graham SonnyL wrote: "things written have to conform with the paper world rather than the one in one's head. Otherwise you wind up like Borges."

Fair point. Check out my svelte yet beefy bod!


message 77: by [deleted user] (last edited Feb 23, 2017 01:25PM) (new)

Arthur wrote: "SonnyL wrote: "things written have to conform with the paper world rather than the one in one's head. Otherwise you wind up like Borges."

Fair point. Check out my svelte yet beefy bod!"


I'm trying not to. I don't want to turn gay or any of those other things the millenials are defining into existence. Besides, it's not only me. I don't think my wife would appreciate it.

Shit. She just said that she thinks it would be funny and charming. It's because of this "artistic" brother of hers. I know it.

Can someone get into the Guiness Book of records for coming out as an octagenarian? Maybe you can run that by Doug.

And didn't you say you were an ass man? Not that it matters or has any relevance. Just idle curiousity. ..................... Thanks to the millenials these things are okay today. Really. They're even on TV.


message 78: by Arthur (new)

Arthur Graham SonnyL wrote: "I don't want to turn gay"

Sex is just fluid and friction, dude. You probably wouldn't even notice the difference.


message 79: by [deleted user] (new)

Arthur wrote: "SonnyL wrote: "I don't want to turn gay"

Sex is just fluid and friction, dude. You probably wouldn't even notice the difference."


Wrong. Because of all you wanton profligates it's STDs.


message 80: by [deleted user] (new)

I think this thread may have died.

Will attempt to revive by writing stupid posts. The wit displayed no doubt discourages those less gifted.


message 81: by [deleted user] (last edited Feb 23, 2017 02:48PM) (new)

You think it candy, but it snot.

When in doubt, sit and pout.

Don't be sad that it's over; be sad that it ever started.

Call me elitist; but I refuse to read a book by someone with a lower IQ than my dog. So, Bizarro didn't mke the cut.


message 82: by [deleted user] (new)

Arthur wrote: "SonnyL wrote: "I don't want to turn gay"

Sex is just fluid and friction, dude. You probably wouldn't even notice the difference."


Difference from what?


message 83: by Arthur (new)

Arthur Graham SonnyL wrote: "Arthur wrote: "Sex is just fluid and friction, dude. You probably wouldn't even notice the difference."

Wrong. Because of all you wanton profligates it's .STD's"


Hey man, AIDS came around with you Boomers. These days, we have to buy condoms by the pallet because of all your free love shenanigans.


message 84: by [deleted user] (new)

Don't think that worked too well. I think you're going to have to go full nude, maybe an action shot.

Or I could start talking about David Foster Wallace again.

Your thread. Your call.


message 85: by [deleted user] (last edited Feb 23, 2017 04:04PM) (new)

Arthur wrote: "SonnyL wrote: "Arthur wrote: "Sex is just fluid and friction, dude. You probably wouldn't even notice the difference."

Wrong. Because of all you wanton profligates it's .STD's"

Hey man, AIDS came..."


Despite what the boomers would now tell you, they were really quite mild by the current standards of Sodom and Gomorrah. They're now all just trying to sound "cool" to the younger folks; but truth be told if we brushed up against a girl in the coat room we had to get married.

Many "dates" were sitting with her and her mother, assuring her mother that you'd get a job one of these days. And don't you dare think any of your perverse threesome stuff. I've already read you writing of it. And if her father was there too, Jeez.

And if you went to the movies it was like "Beach Blanket Bingo" and the ushers would watch you like hawks and shine their flashlights on you. And then a little bit later, if you started to go to demonstrations and be-ins you could look forward to zippy conversations about war and Ghandi.

And nobody knew what the fuck Jim Morrison was talking about. Some of the early stuff had a good beat; and if you were with a girl you wouldn't hear him anyway as you'd be listening to the girl talk about "dynamite pocketbooks" and where they had the best prices.

Then AIDS came around and there was a total shutdown for years. Nobody knew how you got it, and some people thought it had something to do with certain things you did; or I should say used to do. After that we were in our forties and didn't want to take off our clothes with anyone present. I think that was when "New Age" and Eastern, but not Kama Sutra, religions kicked in. So you could sit on the floor in a very unomfortable position and listen to some old bat prattle on about her mystical experiences; 3,000 of her books available for purchase on the way out. I guess somebody there got the idea for GR.

I think I'm starting to copy Konrath.

Or maybe I missed something. This friggin' Alzheimer's can be tricky.


message 86: by Arthur (new)

Arthur Graham SonnyL wrote: "I could start talking about David Foster Wallace again. Your thread. Your call."

You should know by now that all I wanna talk about here is my books and my bulge.


message 87: by [deleted user] (last edited Feb 23, 2017 03:37PM) (new)

Arthur wrote: "SonnyL wrote: "I could start talking about David Foster Wallace again. Your thread. Your call."

You should know by now that all I wanna talk about here is my books and my bulge."


Okay. Thought you might be considering your audience, When are you going to start the "books" part?


message 88: by Arthur (new)

Arthur Graham SonnyL wrote: "When are you going to start the "books" part?"

I started this post by talking about my books, but it seems all everyone else wants to talk about is my sheer animal magnetism. I suppose I could be sad about this, give up writing and start underwear modeling full-time, but I've decided to make the most of a less-than-ideal situation.


message 89: by [deleted user] (new)

Arthur wrote: "SonnyL wrote: "When are you going to start the "books" part?"

I started this post by talking about my books, but it seems all everyone else wants to talk about is my sheer animal magnetism. I supp..."


The dancers get paid more than the waiters, and the guys in the private booths do even better. I know you're above money considerations, but personal appearances do sell books.


message 90: by Arthur (new)

Arthur Graham SonnyL wrote: "I know you're above money considerations, but personal appearances do sell books.

So above it all.


message 91: by [deleted user] (new)

Regarding Arthur’s post which said; “Sex is friction and bodily fluids,” I gave my B answer, more likely C, because he says I’m always being argumentative just for the hell of it and he got all serious about it. I’d like him to know that when I go on “Oprah” I will mention his name. What the following words will be are yet to be determined. But, the simple fact of the matter is that “Sex is more of a slide and a head trip.”

Rather than argue with him, I suggest a poll to determine the truth. Unfortunately the poll format concocted by the GR ITs only provide for five possibilities and only one answer. So, I suggest a poll on Arthur’s thread, realizing that the result will be skewed toward the perverse. But, what the hell? Those choosing to participate can just post the letter or letters of their choice. Two pages of space is provided at the end for the expected, inconclusive Millenial essays. Political commentary will be deleted by the operator of the thread. So;

Sex is;
1) Friction and body fluids.
2) A slide and a head trip.
3) Aperture dependent.
4) An adjusted flop.
5) Dependent on level of female interest.
6) Dependent on level of male interest.
7) Dependent upon level of condom smell and desiccation. Yes, that’s spelled right.
8) Dependent upon what’s on TV.
9) An evolutionary methodology designed to enable STD’s to rule the earth.
10) None of the above. Neither of these guys know what the hell they’re talking about.
11) I don’t want to think about it. I just want to stare at Arthur’s super fine body; head optional. Does anyone know where I can get a six pack.

Millenial Essay Space


message 92: by [deleted user] (new)

And now for something completely different. Ha.

"Money"

Money, get away
Get a good job with more pay and you're O.K.
Money, it's a gas
Grab that cash with both hands and make a stash
New car, caviar, four star daydream,
Think I'll buy me a football team

Money, get back
I'm all right, Jack, keep your hands off of my stack.
Money, it's a hit
Don't give me that do goody good bullshit
I'm in the hi-fidelity first class traveling set
And I think I need a Lear jet

Money, it's a crime
Share it fairly but don't take a slice of my pie
Money, so they say
Is the root of all evil today
But if you ask for a rise it's no surprise that they're giving none away

"HuHuh! I was in the right!"
"Yes, absolutely in the right!"
"I certainly was in the right!"
"You was definitely in the right. That geezer was cruising for a bruising!"
"Yeah!"
"Why does anyone do anything?"
"I don't know, I was really drunk at the time!"
"I was just telling him, he couldn't get into number 2. He was asking why he wasn't coming up on freely, after I was yelling and screaming and telling him why he wasn't coming up on freely.
It came as a heavy blow, but we sorted the matter out."


message 93: by Arthur (new)

Arthur Graham SonnyL wrote: "Sex is;
1) Friction and body fluids.
2) A slide and a head trip.
3) Aperture dependent.
4) An adjusted flop.
5) Dependent on level of female interest.
6) Dependent on level of male interest.
7) Dependent upon level of condom smell and desiccation. Yes, that’s spelled right.
8) Dependent upon what’s on TV.
9) An evolutionary methodology designed to enable STD’s to rule the earth.
10) None of the above. Neither of these guys know what the hell they’re talking about.
11) I don’t want to think about it. I just want to stare at Arthur’s super fine body; head optional. Does anyone know where I can get a six pack."


My top three include #3 (like throwing a hotdog down a hallway or trying to squeeze a cucumber through a keyhole), #9 (stealing this for a story), and #11 (because OBVS).


message 94: by [deleted user] (new)

Gotta confess. I stole 9 off Manny. So cool with me.


message 95: by [deleted user] (last edited Feb 24, 2017 12:59PM) (new)

Forgot 12) Depends whether the production is in overture, act 1, intermission, or act 3. 2's kind of unmentionable outside France.

Gotta quit. This could go on a long time; and we haven't even yet touched on colors, acquired tastes, attire or madrigals.


message 96: by [deleted user] (new)

Amendment to #94. It was somewhat of a self-denigrating oversimplification. Manny was kind of taking it from a scientific, mixed with absurd perspective and never once mentioned the specificity of STD's. It was kind of like a quest for knowledge thing or similarly futile shit. So, I added the rest.

And a reiterative yeah. If you like it go with it. I thought about doing it myself, but got stymied when I discovered that herpes is actually chlamydiaphobic; and that kind of screws up the whole unity thing.

But, I guess the safest thing is to do a book nobody buys, cause it's only when the money kicks in that the complicated copyright laws show up. It's like you gotta get like "50 Shades" bucks to pay 'em off and not spend your fucking life in court.

Who the fuck needs that kind of shit? Broke is free. Ja mon.


message 97: by Arthur (new)

Arthur Graham SonnyL wrote: "herpes is actually chlamydiaphobic"

Does that mean chlamydia inoculates against herpes? It's like rock-paper-scissors with genitalia...


message 99: by Arthur (new)

Arthur Graham I'll explain when you're older.


message 100: by [deleted user] (last edited Feb 24, 2017 03:12PM) (new)

Arthur wrote: "SonnyL wrote: "herpes is actually chlamydiaphobic"

Does that mean chlamydia inoculates against herpes? It's like rock-paper-scissors with genitalia..."


No. That would be a rational, satisfactory solution. Herpes and Chlamydia both just got this mental thing. He thinks he was there first and resents chlamydia's claim to equality. It's just the Adam and Eve thing, complicated by some people recognizing Lilith and most not.

You know, same old shit, this time the actors dressed as viruses.


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