Self-Esteem and Unsolicited Advice – Submissive Meditation Monday
I’m devoting this Monday to meditation, reflection, and devotion to submission. I hope to select topics that will get you thinking differently about some part of your life or submission and then just maybe grow a little bit further. If you have ideas for topics that might work for a Meditation Monday, please email me.
How’s your self-esteem? Do you feel good about the person looking back at you from the mirror? If not, you are not alone. Four in every five women have low self-esteem (Dove Global Beauty and Confidence Report). Did you know that how you feel about how you look has an impact in how you submit? Do you think you are giving it your all if you feel like your Dominant’s looks should be avoided, that you need to keep him from touching you or that you want to hide yourself away? I understand. I am one of you.
My self-esteem is terrible. I’m a fat person and I have let that rule my world for far too long. I know I can embrace my fat and become body positive, but that’s not what I want for myself. I want to be healthier and that means getting fit and losing weight. The sheer weight of that prospect can cripple even the most hopeful person. But it must be done.
When you first embark on changing how you feel about your body, be it with diet, exercise or therapy (self or with someone) you are likely to encounter the wall of unsolicited advice that people will bash on you. I know the advice is meant to help you and give you a push in the right direction. But I personally hate it. “You should just eat this or that, or go walking 4 times a week,” or whatever else they want to pass my way. I want to reply, “Oh really, that’s it huh, you’ve lived in my body and walked in my shoes to know what will work for me or think that I’m completely clueless on how to make the right changes?”
Ask any fat person if they know how to diet, and the majority will probably spout more information about how calories work, what good fats are, what a balanced plate of food looks like and how to incrementally increase your work out to maximize fat burn than you ever will. Because we are fat does not mean we don’t know how to diet and lose weight. In fact, fat people are the ones that are always on a diet, always reading dieting tips and weight loss ideas. Knowing how is not the issue. Our self-esteem is.
Weight isn’t the only reason people suffer from self-esteem but it’s the one I have experience with. I know your struggle is personal, but if you want to talk about it you can do so in the comments. I want you to know that I will keep the comments clear of critique and harshness. It will be a safe place. (Comments will be monitored.)
If you are one of the many who suffer from low self-esteem, I hope you can find the motivation to begin repairing the damage it’s causing you. It’s making you unhappy and it’s dragging down any relationships you might be in. Change isn’t easy, we all have heard that. But the rewards, oh the rewards are so worth it.
And if you now someone that is trying to make changes, don’t offer them advice. Give them a smile and a nod. Acknowledge their progress, not what you think they should do to change things. We’re doing our best, at our pace. And the support and gentle hand are what we need to keep improving.
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