7 Questions to Ask before You Say "I Do" (Part 2)

Okay, so now you know about your buddy's banking habits and savings plans. There's still more to talk about, like DEBT. Don't hide from this. Having debt is one thing. How he or she plans to deal with that debt will have a BIG impact on your future together.


3. How much credit do you use? This could be reflected in the number of credit cards she has added to that line of credit and the car loan. And don't forget the student loans she's been carrying around for the past six and a half years… so far.


A stack of plastic may mean your partner has a serious spending problem. Or not. It all depends on how much of that credit he's using, and whether or not he pays his balances off in full every month.


Use a story to open up this conversation: tell her about a friend of yours whose girlfriend is deeply into her cards and only makes the minimum payments. Then volunteer some info of your own. Then say, "I think we should sit down and list all our credit, figure out which ones are working best for us, and dump the rest."


If you're marrying a dope with a ton of debt, have you agreed to take on that debt by helping to repay it? (Whatever you do, don't sign for it!) If you expect your pal to clean up the mess before you get married, have you been explicit about it? Don't fall into the "he should know that" trap. If you have an expectation, state it clearly.


4. How much research does he do before a big buy? This is another of those observable questions. If he's about to drop a ton of money on a new vehicle, does he do some shopping around, or does he walk onto a lot and scratch his itch? Does she figure out what's really important before heading off to buy something? Can he tell the difference between a want and a need? How often does she make wants a priorities over needs like long-term savings?


5. Does she keep her paperwork in order? Again, an observation thing. If she dumps her bank and credit card statements without even looking at them, run for the hills. Not only should some receipts be saved for tax purposes, some should be saved for warranties. And all receipts should come home and become part of the monthly accounting of where the money went. Speaking of which, does he have a system for tracking his finances? If he's not on top of his money, are you willing to assume the role of financial gate-keeper so that the family finances stay on track?


6. Does he have an emergency fund? No. Is it because she hasn't thought about it or because she honestly believes nothing bad can ever happen to her? Or are you her emergency fund?


The same goes for insurance of all kinds: life, disability and health. You open this conversation by talking about your benefits at work and which ones you'll cancel once you're "legal". Talk about how much you each need to have stashed in a savings account to feel "safe".  If your sweetie feels safe because he has loads of credit, explain how that doesn't work for you since credit is just debt waiting to happen.


7. Does she have a budget? If he's of the opinion that everything is buyable as long as you have room on your credit card, he's not managing his money. If she thinks that as long a she makes her minimum payments on her debt it's okay to keep charging stuff, she's spending more money than she makes. Both are signs that there's no budget anywhere in sight. No budget means no plan. No plan means a crisis somewhere down the road. Are you ready for a crisis? And another? And another?







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Published on August 09, 2011 00:24
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