Quick Thought on Wisdom - The benefits of correction
Proverbs 28:24 Those who correct others will later be liked more than those who give false praise.
I really like this advice because it is realistic. If you are giving people feedback that is truthful and will help them be better employees, spouses, parents, etc, do not expect to get immediate good response. I had some great teachers in high school whom I despised at the time. I thought they were evil and harsh. However, I later realized the benefits of their shooting me straight. I bowed up then, but am thankful now. I have had some bosses and "friends" who have shot me a line about how well I am doing, or how good I am at something, only to find out later this was hollow praise. They were just unwilling to give me the feedback I needed to improve. I think they were worried about my response more than my feelings.
If you want your children to improve and be strong contributors to society, you need to be willing to take a hit in the short term. The same applies to your students or direct reports. Are you willing to correct wrong behavior at the risk of your own status or feelings? If you are able to take a long term view of this it will work out for you. Conversely, are you guilty of providing false praise to protect the feelings of others? I don't believe you are doing them any favors and encourage you to reconsider your words.
In all this, respond in love, and remember the critiquing mantra - a positive comment, followed by the critique followed by a positive comment. If you cannot think of two positive comments, you have some work to do on your leadership!
I really like this advice because it is realistic. If you are giving people feedback that is truthful and will help them be better employees, spouses, parents, etc, do not expect to get immediate good response. I had some great teachers in high school whom I despised at the time. I thought they were evil and harsh. However, I later realized the benefits of their shooting me straight. I bowed up then, but am thankful now. I have had some bosses and "friends" who have shot me a line about how well I am doing, or how good I am at something, only to find out later this was hollow praise. They were just unwilling to give me the feedback I needed to improve. I think they were worried about my response more than my feelings.
If you want your children to improve and be strong contributors to society, you need to be willing to take a hit in the short term. The same applies to your students or direct reports. Are you willing to correct wrong behavior at the risk of your own status or feelings? If you are able to take a long term view of this it will work out for you. Conversely, are you guilty of providing false praise to protect the feelings of others? I don't believe you are doing them any favors and encourage you to reconsider your words.
In all this, respond in love, and remember the critiquing mantra - a positive comment, followed by the critique followed by a positive comment. If you cannot think of two positive comments, you have some work to do on your leadership!
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