Chris Byrd's Blog
September 1, 2012
October 18, 2011
The Power of Helping versus being Helped
I have a new friend / client who has a neat story about how he came to be a Christian. He was an atheist for 38 years, and quite content. However, one day his neighbor's five year old child was diagnosed with Leukemia. My friend began volunteering to raise funds for the child's treatment. As he became more involved, he says he took his eyes off himself for a moment, and was able to see the hope all around him. As a result of his efforts, and the relationships this developed, he became a Christian. Where he lives, he could have gone his whole life without hearing a strong evangelistic message, yet he was able to see through service the reality of God. How cool is that.
This story came back to me as I was teaching a lesson the other day about the four friends who had a crippled friend they wanted to get in front of Jesus. They brought him to a house on a blanket with the expectation that they would get him in front of Jesus who was reported to be able to heal. Unfortunately, the crowd was made up of people who were looking to critique Jesus rather than support him, so they had no desire to let the men through. Instead of giving up, they climbed up on the roof, busted a hole in it and lowered their friend down on the blanket where Jesus was able to forgive and heal.
Often times, when we think about those of our friends in need, whether physical or spiritual, we put them in the blanket, and try to get them in front of Jesus somehow. We see our role to bring this "crippled" person forward with the idea that he can be healed if we do so. Many times this does take place, when we see the obvious "injury" and see the need to help this person overcome it.
Where we miss out, though, is when we see a person who doesn't look or sound crippled yet we know they do not experience the joy of a relationship with Jesus. We cannot picture them in a blanket being lowered in front of Jesus, nor can we actually figuratively picture them in a blanket at all.
Consider another possibility. What if the four friends that carried the injured man were not all believers. What if only two or three were, but asked the non-believers to help, and they saw the importance of helping enough to agree to carry the blanket. Think of the impact on them from the experience of Jesus' healing of the paralytic on the blanket. Maybe you need to approach your friends differently. Get them to help you help someone else. Create a project to feed the homeless and take your friend with you. Help out a widow or orphan in your community and ask for help to do so. Perhaps by their joining you in caring for someone else, the same change will take place that affected my friend.
Hey, you have nothing to lose, and someone will gain, regardless of the impact on your own friend. Whoever is getting served will benefit.
Try it and tell me how it goes.
This story came back to me as I was teaching a lesson the other day about the four friends who had a crippled friend they wanted to get in front of Jesus. They brought him to a house on a blanket with the expectation that they would get him in front of Jesus who was reported to be able to heal. Unfortunately, the crowd was made up of people who were looking to critique Jesus rather than support him, so they had no desire to let the men through. Instead of giving up, they climbed up on the roof, busted a hole in it and lowered their friend down on the blanket where Jesus was able to forgive and heal.
Often times, when we think about those of our friends in need, whether physical or spiritual, we put them in the blanket, and try to get them in front of Jesus somehow. We see our role to bring this "crippled" person forward with the idea that he can be healed if we do so. Many times this does take place, when we see the obvious "injury" and see the need to help this person overcome it.
Where we miss out, though, is when we see a person who doesn't look or sound crippled yet we know they do not experience the joy of a relationship with Jesus. We cannot picture them in a blanket being lowered in front of Jesus, nor can we actually figuratively picture them in a blanket at all.
Consider another possibility. What if the four friends that carried the injured man were not all believers. What if only two or three were, but asked the non-believers to help, and they saw the importance of helping enough to agree to carry the blanket. Think of the impact on them from the experience of Jesus' healing of the paralytic on the blanket. Maybe you need to approach your friends differently. Get them to help you help someone else. Create a project to feed the homeless and take your friend with you. Help out a widow or orphan in your community and ask for help to do so. Perhaps by their joining you in caring for someone else, the same change will take place that affected my friend.
Hey, you have nothing to lose, and someone will gain, regardless of the impact on your own friend. Whoever is getting served will benefit.
Try it and tell me how it goes.
What does Strategy have to do with Human Resources?
What does Strategy have to do with Human Resources?
Chris Byrd, Wisdom Selling Solutions
I was recently at the SCMA Human Resources meeting, introducing Wisdom Selling Solutions to the various attendees. As I would describe us as a strategy consultant, it was obvious the confusion about exactly why I was there representing Wisdom Selling. Quite frankly, I don't blame them, given the usual connection of strategy to the business leadership, not Human Resources.
However, the truth is that strategy is intimately connected to manpower, and the ability of a Human Resources team to actively participate in the strategic planning and implementation of the organization can make a world of difference in the success or failure of that organization.
Consider the following. Imagine for a moment the CEO of your company called you into his office and gave you an hour just to tell him your dreams for the future of the workforce. What kind of things would you tell him? Do you even have the time to consider all of the possibilities that talent management and development could bring to the company? How do you get to the point where you can move beyond the constant tug of legal compliance, and move to a contributor of strategy to the organization?
Think about the following business terms and how they translate into HR. Each is key to business strategy, and can be key to HR strategy as well.
Sales – this is a transaction taking place. It is the goal of the business, because if this does not take place, there is no revenue whether the company provides products or services. The sale is a trading of value. What one entity has provides so much potential value to another that they are willing to trade something that has more value to the initial company. For example, I might have a candy bar that cost $0.25 to make, but its value to you is a dollar, so I can sell it on its value and receive the dollar, which I value higher than the candy bar, or I wouldn't sell it.
Your transactions are many. Ultimately, though, the main transactions are hiring, on-boarding and retaining. Hiring is the sale in that you provide a position to someone who values it highly enough to trade you the value of their experiences capabilities and interests.
Marketing – this is creating the environment for the sale to take place. Simply put, this is finding the persons who might value what you have to offer, presenting the value in a compelling way, and promoting this value to access the people who would want it. Often this is mixed up with advertising and promotions, which is a key element, but marketing is so much more.
You create job descriptions, company websites for hiring, and brochures that tell your story. You place this information where those most likely to fit your needs are known to frequent, and promote the opportunities available within your organization.
Strategy- this is the understanding of who an organization is, and who they want to be. Further, it is what they want to accomplish. Once understood, the plans to reach the destination can be developed and implemented.
As an analogy, consider driving around in your car. At any point, if you don't know where you are, you are considered lost. Now, many of us drive around looking for landmarks to tell us where we are currently. Others of us will stop and ask for directions. Now, if we don't know where we are going, any road will get us there. However, if we plan to arrive somewhere, we can use our roadmap to show us the best routes to take. We can use the information on the map to tell us how far away it is, how long it will take, and what milestones we will pass along the way. Nowadays, with GPS, we can even have a voice tell us when to turn.
Strategy works the same way in Human Resources. If you know the state of the workforce, the capabilities, the interests and the level of engagement, you are in a great position to match people up with current and future positions. Information is always going to be king in your world. The more you know about people, their interests and potential, the better you are going to be able to fit them to the appropriate positions and retain the best talent. The better you are able to equip your managers to lead each individual that reports to them the better their leadership can be.
If you are connected to the pulse of the business, you can see more clearly where the people plans need to go. If there is going to be a succession of promotions, what is the plan to backfill, for example. When you know the capabilities of the talent that exists, you can see the gaps that need to be filled over time. You may suggest hiring strategies that don't make traditional sense because you can see the big picture. You may change the onboarding process because you are hiring more young leaders, and they need to be treated differently to stay.
Obviously, these are broad generalizations, but hopefully they provide you some insight into how valuable strategic thinking can be in your department. I encourage you to find ways to be more efficient in your transactional responsibilities, so that you have time to contribute to the future workforce success in your company.
Wisdom Selling Solutions provides strategy consulting for Business Owners, Executives and key Human Resource Leadership in support of successful strategy implementation. WSS provides information, analysis and tools to help make your job more productive and interesting. Contact us today for a free demonstration of these tools.
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September 27, 2011
Have You Ever Been Asked What You Believe In?
Recently I had the opportunity to quote for working with a new client. He is starting a business, and plans to run it with Christian principles, making sure he focuses on customer satisfaction but at the same time presents the organization as focusing on doing things in a way that reflects his beliefs.
As part of the interviewing for working together, he asked me what my story was, how I was brought up in the church, my core beliefs, etc. I was fascinated by the request but realized how important it was to accurately reflect these so our business arrangement could be long term and successful.
Have you ever been asked to share what you believe with someone as part of understanding who you are? What would you say if they did ask you, or would you say it is private? See, I am of the school of thought that we should always be willing to share our story, whether it be about our religion, our interests, family, etc. People want to know who they are working with. I encourage you to practice your story telling, in both written and verbal form.
Here is what I sent back, as a reference for you, and perhaps to help you understand me a bit more.
"I come from a strong Christian background with two good parents who invested in me. I also experienced a consistent run of quality teachers and ministers at the Southern Baptist churches where I attended growing up.
I realized early on that I was a creation of God, who built us to have communion with him. Through sin we became separated from him, and were no longer able to access the face to face walks that Adam experienced.
What I learned next is that God hates sin, and that each of us has this in us, breaking our connection to God, and putting us in jeopardy of eternal separation, since the only way to be in connection is to not have the sins on us.
While He created ways for early worshippers to reach out to him through sacrifices, He made the decision to allow us once and for all to receive a sacrifice. He sent His Son, Jesus, to earth in the form of a man to fully experience the life of a human, with all its joys, sorrows and temptations. He was born to a virgin and remained sinless while on earth.
He came with a purpose, and that was to die as a sacrifice, once and for all, to take our sins out of the way of our connection to God. His death accomplished this once and for all, and His resurrection from the dead further demonstrated his overcoming the evil in the world. God then told us through Christ, with further clarification from Paul in Romans that we can come to God through a belief in His son as our savior, and through the repentance of sins. We turn to God and away from Sin. I believe that I have asked Christ into my heart, and He has indwelt me with the Holy Spirit who guides me to the truth. I believe my salvation is assured. I also believe that my connection to God is always under attack and that I need to constantly gain wisdom, be vigilant, and repentant when I fall.
I love to learn, and spend a lot of time thinking about the mysteries of the Bible, from how we deal gracefully with sins among non-believers, to how we protect our families, to how we minister. I write alot and blog a lot about these thoughts as I try to work out my salvation. My wife and all four of my kids will be with me in heaven thanks to their decisions. We are active at MountainView Baptist Church where I teach college students, play bass in the praise band, and have been interim minister of music.
I fall a lot. Being a Christian is not easy and I find myself dealing with the challenges all the time. Mainly these are in the areas of worry and criticism. But I am working on it constantly, as I want my business to be one that is identified by its Christian Wisdom, and by the ethics and morals by which it is run."
As part of the interviewing for working together, he asked me what my story was, how I was brought up in the church, my core beliefs, etc. I was fascinated by the request but realized how important it was to accurately reflect these so our business arrangement could be long term and successful.
Have you ever been asked to share what you believe with someone as part of understanding who you are? What would you say if they did ask you, or would you say it is private? See, I am of the school of thought that we should always be willing to share our story, whether it be about our religion, our interests, family, etc. People want to know who they are working with. I encourage you to practice your story telling, in both written and verbal form.
Here is what I sent back, as a reference for you, and perhaps to help you understand me a bit more.
"I come from a strong Christian background with two good parents who invested in me. I also experienced a consistent run of quality teachers and ministers at the Southern Baptist churches where I attended growing up.
I realized early on that I was a creation of God, who built us to have communion with him. Through sin we became separated from him, and were no longer able to access the face to face walks that Adam experienced.
What I learned next is that God hates sin, and that each of us has this in us, breaking our connection to God, and putting us in jeopardy of eternal separation, since the only way to be in connection is to not have the sins on us.
While He created ways for early worshippers to reach out to him through sacrifices, He made the decision to allow us once and for all to receive a sacrifice. He sent His Son, Jesus, to earth in the form of a man to fully experience the life of a human, with all its joys, sorrows and temptations. He was born to a virgin and remained sinless while on earth.
He came with a purpose, and that was to die as a sacrifice, once and for all, to take our sins out of the way of our connection to God. His death accomplished this once and for all, and His resurrection from the dead further demonstrated his overcoming the evil in the world. God then told us through Christ, with further clarification from Paul in Romans that we can come to God through a belief in His son as our savior, and through the repentance of sins. We turn to God and away from Sin. I believe that I have asked Christ into my heart, and He has indwelt me with the Holy Spirit who guides me to the truth. I believe my salvation is assured. I also believe that my connection to God is always under attack and that I need to constantly gain wisdom, be vigilant, and repentant when I fall.
I love to learn, and spend a lot of time thinking about the mysteries of the Bible, from how we deal gracefully with sins among non-believers, to how we protect our families, to how we minister. I write alot and blog a lot about these thoughts as I try to work out my salvation. My wife and all four of my kids will be with me in heaven thanks to their decisions. We are active at MountainView Baptist Church where I teach college students, play bass in the praise band, and have been interim minister of music.
I fall a lot. Being a Christian is not easy and I find myself dealing with the challenges all the time. Mainly these are in the areas of worry and criticism. But I am working on it constantly, as I want my business to be one that is identified by its Christian Wisdom, and by the ethics and morals by which it is run."
September 6, 2011
A theological question for today - Is the Bible really about Right and Wrong?
So, before you jump on my case, please consider the ponderings I am having as I see more and more moral controversy in this country of ours.
In California recently, a school board determined that students need to be taught heroes of different causes that aren't currently in their history books, including handicapped persons who overcame, and homosexuals who led the civil rights cause or were heroes in the military, etc. There is a big concern that this will promote to young children some inappropriate behaviors, as well as make more mainstream something that parents may not want taught to their children. While the marriage amendment politics brought out the leadership of many different religions, this cause seems to be left to the evangelical Christian leadership to fight. It does not actually look like they are prepared to do so.
My question that is arising from all this is noted in the title - is the Bible about right and wrong, or is it something even greater than this, above the petty arguments of us imperfect humans? I covet your thoughts on this. Here is my theory, for you to poke holes in.
I see six or seven key purposes for the Bible, as it is written. I am sure there are many others, but for consideration, here is my list:
1. To further prove the fact that there is a creator God. (I believe the creation proves it independently of the Bible, so the information in the Bible is for additional support to those of us who struggle to accept this fact)
2. To reveal what life is like in connection to God (we have joy, guidance, etc)
3. To explain to us what happens when we die, as we are connected to God.
4. To show us what God's expectations are for us in this connection - (to be perfect, to help others see how great it is to be connected to God)
5. To show us what breaks this connection (Imperfection - we call this sin, and it encompasses a tremendous number of actions or thoughts that we choose of our free will to do, which break our fellowship with God, and leave us at risk to the world)
6. To show us how to restore this connection once and for all (as well as to deal with those times when we temporarily break the fellowship)
7. To show us the consequences of living outside of this connection, now and in the future.
There are lots of ways to think about this, but in summary a relationship with God is better than anything else we will ever experience, but we have difficulty making and keeping this relationship intact because of the sins that are common to us all. The Bible explains and demonstrates these sins for us so we can understand what not to do, in order to keep our relationship pure.
In the old testament, without the Holy Spirit as a guide, He used Moses to deliver a series of rules to follow to keep the relationship intact, while also providing achievable actions for restoring broken fellowship, so the benefits of being in God's will could be experienced.
In the new testament, Jesus Christ comes into the world and demonstrates for us the very personal nature of our relationship with God. He described behaviors that pleased God as well as those which broke fellowship. He tells us that a Holy Spirit will come into us, and provide us personal guidance on how to maintain fellowship and grow in our relationship with God.
Paul came along and helped these new Christians understand that there were still directions to follow to maintain this fellowship with God, even though Jesus became the new sacrifice, eliminating many of the old sacrifices and rules.
Now, governments have come and gone many times since the first Christians. In some cases, a government would implement a rule of law that was very similar to Biblical rules. This made the scriptures a legal definition of what is wrong to do in that culture. However, this did not mean that there would never be a change. As people began to explore the freedoms that come from the rule of the governed, the realization came about that laws could be changed at the will of the majority.
We experience this today, as polls and surveys are used to justify changes to laws, whether in agreement with scripture or not. Christians in turn, fight back by positioning the Bible as an authority on right and wrong to a culture that does not even acknowledge that God exists in many cases. In other cases, they recognize His existence but do not let that fact influence their decisions. These new decisions are made on the relative situations of the moment, political winds and popular views of the enlightened.
The bottom line of this long winded discussion is this. The Bible is a book that deals with a relationship with our creator, God. It is not a legal document in our current culture. If we do not see the value of being in fellowship with God, and the joy of understanding wisdom, feeling fulfilled and happy in a very sad culture, we are certainly not going to be drawn to rules more restrictive than our government requires!
We must first demonstrate and teach the value of our relationship with God, before we can show how the Bible reveals those actions that disconnect this relationship. Otherwise we will fight a fight for morality, family values and restraint that will fall on deaf ears.
Please help me work through these thoughts!!!!!!!!
In California recently, a school board determined that students need to be taught heroes of different causes that aren't currently in their history books, including handicapped persons who overcame, and homosexuals who led the civil rights cause or were heroes in the military, etc. There is a big concern that this will promote to young children some inappropriate behaviors, as well as make more mainstream something that parents may not want taught to their children. While the marriage amendment politics brought out the leadership of many different religions, this cause seems to be left to the evangelical Christian leadership to fight. It does not actually look like they are prepared to do so.
My question that is arising from all this is noted in the title - is the Bible about right and wrong, or is it something even greater than this, above the petty arguments of us imperfect humans? I covet your thoughts on this. Here is my theory, for you to poke holes in.
I see six or seven key purposes for the Bible, as it is written. I am sure there are many others, but for consideration, here is my list:
1. To further prove the fact that there is a creator God. (I believe the creation proves it independently of the Bible, so the information in the Bible is for additional support to those of us who struggle to accept this fact)
2. To reveal what life is like in connection to God (we have joy, guidance, etc)
3. To explain to us what happens when we die, as we are connected to God.
4. To show us what God's expectations are for us in this connection - (to be perfect, to help others see how great it is to be connected to God)
5. To show us what breaks this connection (Imperfection - we call this sin, and it encompasses a tremendous number of actions or thoughts that we choose of our free will to do, which break our fellowship with God, and leave us at risk to the world)
6. To show us how to restore this connection once and for all (as well as to deal with those times when we temporarily break the fellowship)
7. To show us the consequences of living outside of this connection, now and in the future.
There are lots of ways to think about this, but in summary a relationship with God is better than anything else we will ever experience, but we have difficulty making and keeping this relationship intact because of the sins that are common to us all. The Bible explains and demonstrates these sins for us so we can understand what not to do, in order to keep our relationship pure.
In the old testament, without the Holy Spirit as a guide, He used Moses to deliver a series of rules to follow to keep the relationship intact, while also providing achievable actions for restoring broken fellowship, so the benefits of being in God's will could be experienced.
In the new testament, Jesus Christ comes into the world and demonstrates for us the very personal nature of our relationship with God. He described behaviors that pleased God as well as those which broke fellowship. He tells us that a Holy Spirit will come into us, and provide us personal guidance on how to maintain fellowship and grow in our relationship with God.
Paul came along and helped these new Christians understand that there were still directions to follow to maintain this fellowship with God, even though Jesus became the new sacrifice, eliminating many of the old sacrifices and rules.
Now, governments have come and gone many times since the first Christians. In some cases, a government would implement a rule of law that was very similar to Biblical rules. This made the scriptures a legal definition of what is wrong to do in that culture. However, this did not mean that there would never be a change. As people began to explore the freedoms that come from the rule of the governed, the realization came about that laws could be changed at the will of the majority.
We experience this today, as polls and surveys are used to justify changes to laws, whether in agreement with scripture or not. Christians in turn, fight back by positioning the Bible as an authority on right and wrong to a culture that does not even acknowledge that God exists in many cases. In other cases, they recognize His existence but do not let that fact influence their decisions. These new decisions are made on the relative situations of the moment, political winds and popular views of the enlightened.
The bottom line of this long winded discussion is this. The Bible is a book that deals with a relationship with our creator, God. It is not a legal document in our current culture. If we do not see the value of being in fellowship with God, and the joy of understanding wisdom, feeling fulfilled and happy in a very sad culture, we are certainly not going to be drawn to rules more restrictive than our government requires!
We must first demonstrate and teach the value of our relationship with God, before we can show how the Bible reveals those actions that disconnect this relationship. Otherwise we will fight a fight for morality, family values and restraint that will fall on deaf ears.
Please help me work through these thoughts!!!!!!!!
Wisdom thoughts from an historical figure!
Charles Spurgeon: "Wisdom is man's true strength; and, under its guidance, he best accomplishes the ends of his being. Wisely handling the matter of life, gives to man the richest enjoyment, and presents the noblest occupation for his powers; hence by it he finds good in the fullest sense. Without wisdom, man is as the wild ass's colt, running hither and thither, wasting strength which might be profitably employed. Wisdom is the compass by which man is to steer across the trackless waste of life; without it he is a derelict vessel, the sport of winds and waves A man must be prudent in such a world as this, or he will find no good, but be betrayed into unnumbered ills."
A friend of mine sent me this and it struck a chord with me. Not just that I could quote a guy saying wild ass's colt, but that this picture resonates so well with me. Think about this for a minute. It is not just the colt that is wild, his parents are as well. So there is not just one level of wildness, but inherited, taught and modelled behavior. Not only this, but the colt has no idea he is wild. He is just following the wind, and wasting alot of energy on nothing productive.
So the questions naturally arise. Do you know what you are doing, or are you just running around wasting energy? Are you so trained and taught to be a certain way that you don't even know what wisdom looks like? Well, now is the time to break out of that rut and become something more. Can you recognize wisdom when you see it? Who is around you that you can ask for guidance? Do you need to be broken in order to submit to learning's that will change you for the better? Are you willing?
I really like this message about wisdom from Dr. Spurgeon. He gets right to the point. You need to seek wisdom, be prudent and be guided by it, then you will enjoy life to the fullest. Wisdom is not as restricting as we all may think. Yes, it may keep us from uttering the redneck's last words - "Hey, watch this!" but even more so, it can help us do the things that bring value to the world.
I learned recently that most cattle ranchers around here buy a donkey and put them out in the field with their other animals. The donkey just minds his own business until a coyote comes into the field, at which point the donkey becomes a killing machine, using its powerful kick to destroy the predator.
When your coyotes come will you be an ass kicker, or just be a colt running around? Sorry for the off color comment, but couldn't resist. I still have some colt in me I am working out!
A friend of mine sent me this and it struck a chord with me. Not just that I could quote a guy saying wild ass's colt, but that this picture resonates so well with me. Think about this for a minute. It is not just the colt that is wild, his parents are as well. So there is not just one level of wildness, but inherited, taught and modelled behavior. Not only this, but the colt has no idea he is wild. He is just following the wind, and wasting alot of energy on nothing productive.
So the questions naturally arise. Do you know what you are doing, or are you just running around wasting energy? Are you so trained and taught to be a certain way that you don't even know what wisdom looks like? Well, now is the time to break out of that rut and become something more. Can you recognize wisdom when you see it? Who is around you that you can ask for guidance? Do you need to be broken in order to submit to learning's that will change you for the better? Are you willing?
I really like this message about wisdom from Dr. Spurgeon. He gets right to the point. You need to seek wisdom, be prudent and be guided by it, then you will enjoy life to the fullest. Wisdom is not as restricting as we all may think. Yes, it may keep us from uttering the redneck's last words - "Hey, watch this!" but even more so, it can help us do the things that bring value to the world.
I learned recently that most cattle ranchers around here buy a donkey and put them out in the field with their other animals. The donkey just minds his own business until a coyote comes into the field, at which point the donkey becomes a killing machine, using its powerful kick to destroy the predator.
When your coyotes come will you be an ass kicker, or just be a colt running around? Sorry for the off color comment, but couldn't resist. I still have some colt in me I am working out!
August 25, 2011
What do you do when everyone doesn’t like you?
Do you think you could stand it if everyone in the world liked you? Imagine the pressure to remember names, spouses, interests and hobbies for all the people you come into contact with.
Life would be so simple if we could view the world that way. In other words, that life is easier by having some people not be a match for us. However, for most of us that is not the case. We live our lives under the burden of those people who do not like us or who do not want to have a connection with us. Why is it more important to us that we had a negative experience with someone that that we had so many positive ones.
I used to be so scared of people that I could hardly function. I worried that each interaction was a place for someone to make me feel worse about myself by rejecting me in some way. What a prison that can be. Do you ever worry about this? Have you experienced a situation where someone rejected you or did not want to interact with you?
This happens quite frequently in business. We have prospects who don’t want to buy from us and we take it personally. We have a boss who just doesn’t connect with us and promotes those with whom he does. We have suppliers that walk all over us trying to use intimidation to tilt the negotiations. We have peers that are competing with us for the next promotion. It can be quite overwhelming if we let it.
The problem with this line of thinking is that it causes us to miss the positives that are going on around us, and which make up the majority of our interactions. I decided a few years ago that there had to be something better for me. Therefore, I began an informal, where I decided to take a positive approach with everyone I met, and see what kind of reactions I got.
Turns out that only about 70% of those I talked to were interested in responding. 30% of those I talked to either cut me off, or demonstrated irritation or just tolerated me then moved on as soon as they could. Now, you could say that I have some communications challenges or personality issues. That is what I used to think. What I believe now is that there is a large group of people out there I can connect with if I go seek them out.
The last time you checked, was 70% more than 30%? Of course it is. Now for the hard question. Is the value of the positive feedback from the 70% greater than the impact of the negative feedback of the 30%? The answer to this is the 70% Solution. If you can accept that this greater percentage of people is going to connect with you, you are freed up to remove the fear from your interactions. You can pursue relationships and celebrate the ones you get, while understanding those you don’t.
Now, this does not mean the 30% are bad people. They just have a different 70%. It also does not mean you will never connect with them, but you may have to use a different approach, and be very patient while understanding it may never happen.
I encourage you to consider the implications of this line of thinking. If you are sincere and reach out to people you have a high likelihood of being rewarded. If you are yourself on the sales call or in your company interactions, you will have some success you didn’t expect. You will not have the burden of pretending to be something you aren’t to connect to those you can’t.
Go out there and begin to talk to people freely. See for yourself what happens as a result.
Life would be so simple if we could view the world that way. In other words, that life is easier by having some people not be a match for us. However, for most of us that is not the case. We live our lives under the burden of those people who do not like us or who do not want to have a connection with us. Why is it more important to us that we had a negative experience with someone that that we had so many positive ones.
I used to be so scared of people that I could hardly function. I worried that each interaction was a place for someone to make me feel worse about myself by rejecting me in some way. What a prison that can be. Do you ever worry about this? Have you experienced a situation where someone rejected you or did not want to interact with you?
This happens quite frequently in business. We have prospects who don’t want to buy from us and we take it personally. We have a boss who just doesn’t connect with us and promotes those with whom he does. We have suppliers that walk all over us trying to use intimidation to tilt the negotiations. We have peers that are competing with us for the next promotion. It can be quite overwhelming if we let it.
The problem with this line of thinking is that it causes us to miss the positives that are going on around us, and which make up the majority of our interactions. I decided a few years ago that there had to be something better for me. Therefore, I began an informal, where I decided to take a positive approach with everyone I met, and see what kind of reactions I got.
Turns out that only about 70% of those I talked to were interested in responding. 30% of those I talked to either cut me off, or demonstrated irritation or just tolerated me then moved on as soon as they could. Now, you could say that I have some communications challenges or personality issues. That is what I used to think. What I believe now is that there is a large group of people out there I can connect with if I go seek them out.
The last time you checked, was 70% more than 30%? Of course it is. Now for the hard question. Is the value of the positive feedback from the 70% greater than the impact of the negative feedback of the 30%? The answer to this is the 70% Solution. If you can accept that this greater percentage of people is going to connect with you, you are freed up to remove the fear from your interactions. You can pursue relationships and celebrate the ones you get, while understanding those you don’t.
Now, this does not mean the 30% are bad people. They just have a different 70%. It also does not mean you will never connect with them, but you may have to use a different approach, and be very patient while understanding it may never happen.
I encourage you to consider the implications of this line of thinking. If you are sincere and reach out to people you have a high likelihood of being rewarded. If you are yourself on the sales call or in your company interactions, you will have some success you didn’t expect. You will not have the burden of pretending to be something you aren’t to connect to those you can’t.
Go out there and begin to talk to people freely. See for yourself what happens as a result.
What do you do when everyone doesn't like you?
Do you think you could stand it if everyone in the world liked you? Imagine the pressure to remember names, spouses, interests and hobbies for all the people you come into contact with.
Life would be so simple if we could view the world that way. In other words, that life is easier by having some people not be a match for us. However, for most of us that is not the case. We live our lives under the burden of those people who do not like us or who do not want to have a connection with us. Why is it more important to us that we had a negative experience with someone that that we had so many positive ones.
I used to be so scared of people that I could hardly function. I worried that each interaction was a place for someone to make me feel worse about myself by rejecting me in some way. What a prison that can be. Do you ever worry about this? Have you experienced a situation where someone rejected you or did not want to interact with you?
This happens quite frequently in business. We have prospects who don't want to buy from us and we take it personally. We have a boss who just doesn't connect with us and promotes those with whom he does. We have suppliers that walk all over us trying to use intimidation to tilt the negotiations. We have peers that are competing with us for the next promotion. It can be quite overwhelming if we let it.
The problem with this line of thinking is that it causes us to miss the positives that are going on around us, and which make up the majority of our interactions. I decided a few years ago that there had to be something better for me. Therefore, I began an informal, where I decided to take a positive approach with everyone I met, and see what kind of reactions I got.
Turns out that only about 70% of those I talked to were interested in responding. 30% of those I talked to either cut me off, or demonstrated irritation or just tolerated me then moved on as soon as they could. Now, you could say that I have some communications challenges or personality issues. That is what I used to think. What I believe now is that there is a large group of people out there I can connect with if I go seek them out.
The last time you checked, was 70% more than 30%? Of course it is. Now for the hard question. Is the value of the positive feedback from the 70% greater than the impact of the negative feedback of the 30%? The answer to this is the 70% Solution. If you can accept that this greater percentage of people is going to connect with you, you are freed up to remove the fear from your interactions. You can pursue relationships and celebrate the ones you get, while understanding those you don't.
Now, this does not mean the 30% are bad people. They just have a different 70%. It also does not mean you will never connect with them, but you may have to use a different approach, and be very patient while understanding it may never happen.
I encourage you to consider the implications of this line of thinking. If you are sincere and reach out to people you have a high likelihood of being rewarded. If you are yourself on the sales call or in your company interactions, you will have some success you didn't expect. You will not have the burden of pretending to be something you aren't to connect to those you can't.
Go out there and begin to talk to people freely. See for yourself what happens as a result.
Life would be so simple if we could view the world that way. In other words, that life is easier by having some people not be a match for us. However, for most of us that is not the case. We live our lives under the burden of those people who do not like us or who do not want to have a connection with us. Why is it more important to us that we had a negative experience with someone that that we had so many positive ones.
I used to be so scared of people that I could hardly function. I worried that each interaction was a place for someone to make me feel worse about myself by rejecting me in some way. What a prison that can be. Do you ever worry about this? Have you experienced a situation where someone rejected you or did not want to interact with you?
This happens quite frequently in business. We have prospects who don't want to buy from us and we take it personally. We have a boss who just doesn't connect with us and promotes those with whom he does. We have suppliers that walk all over us trying to use intimidation to tilt the negotiations. We have peers that are competing with us for the next promotion. It can be quite overwhelming if we let it.
The problem with this line of thinking is that it causes us to miss the positives that are going on around us, and which make up the majority of our interactions. I decided a few years ago that there had to be something better for me. Therefore, I began an informal, where I decided to take a positive approach with everyone I met, and see what kind of reactions I got.
Turns out that only about 70% of those I talked to were interested in responding. 30% of those I talked to either cut me off, or demonstrated irritation or just tolerated me then moved on as soon as they could. Now, you could say that I have some communications challenges or personality issues. That is what I used to think. What I believe now is that there is a large group of people out there I can connect with if I go seek them out.
The last time you checked, was 70% more than 30%? Of course it is. Now for the hard question. Is the value of the positive feedback from the 70% greater than the impact of the negative feedback of the 30%? The answer to this is the 70% Solution. If you can accept that this greater percentage of people is going to connect with you, you are freed up to remove the fear from your interactions. You can pursue relationships and celebrate the ones you get, while understanding those you don't.
Now, this does not mean the 30% are bad people. They just have a different 70%. It also does not mean you will never connect with them, but you may have to use a different approach, and be very patient while understanding it may never happen.
I encourage you to consider the implications of this line of thinking. If you are sincere and reach out to people you have a high likelihood of being rewarded. If you are yourself on the sales call or in your company interactions, you will have some success you didn't expect. You will not have the burden of pretending to be something you aren't to connect to those you can't.
Go out there and begin to talk to people freely. See for yourself what happens as a result.
August 23, 2011
If you don't love your life you won't live your life!
Sometimes the simple hits me as so profound. I was in a meeting recently where a leader was discussing how to teach adults. He was discussing issues related to the Bible and he said this: "If you don't love the Christian life, you won't live the Christian life."
I was not able to get that statement out of my head. Think about this comment and see if it applies to you in your life, regardless of whether you are a Christian or not.
" I really wanted to do___, but I knew that I should do ____, and so I did it."
Here is the feeling that invokes. I am not doing what I want to do, I am doing what I am supposed to do, and it is a big sacrifice for me so be proud of me! We help each other through the misery of doing what we think we are supposed to do each day, while inside we are fantasizing about how good life could be if we really did what we wanted to do. I would wager you have friends that stay in a job they hate, so that they can "provide for their family". Meanwhile their mind drifts to what they wish they could do, or even worse drifts to an unhealthy lust of something they think they cannot have. How many affairs have started over a perception of sacrifice in real life, so the person thinks they deserve something for themselves.
We create this puritan view of life where we are miserable but proud. The victory over rules that is supposed to make us free instead is missed by our need to be a rules follower. I told my college Bible Study that if they are wanting to go to an R rated movie, really want to go badly, but instead take the martyr point of view of how much they are sacrificing not going, then go! Sit there and see if you feel like it is the right place to be, then stay or leave as you feel is right. But don't create a resentment of your Christian life by hating having to give up all the "good stuff".
In the movie "The Rookie", Dennis Quaid's character is torn between his feeling that he is supposed to be a baseball player, and the feelings of obligation to provide for his family as a teacher. His father tells him, sometimes you have to give up what you want to do in order to do what you are supposed to do. Quit being a dreamer! Fortunately for the movie, he doesn't take that advice and is successful with his dream, and in the process provides for his family. Is there sacrifice in the short term? Certainly. Is it worth it? Well you never know if you don't try.
As my family makes the sacrifices to allow me to follow my dream to build a business of helping others, I see both the pain of the sacrifice, and the freedom from guilt that no longer manifests itself at the end of the day when I come home too downtrodden to be a contributing part of family life. I would trade today's poor happiness for yesterday's comfortable misery any day!
This doesn't just apply to jobs, but to life in general. If you don't love your life you won't live it. You will just exist beside it, watching it burn away day after day. What is it you need to do to love your life?
As I conclude this, consider the following. Are there healthy desires? Can you actually feel drawn to something and that be a leading to something good and important that you should consider? Can you be led? Are you too burned out to feel anything hopeful? I certainly hope not.
I was not able to get that statement out of my head. Think about this comment and see if it applies to you in your life, regardless of whether you are a Christian or not.
" I really wanted to do___, but I knew that I should do ____, and so I did it."
Here is the feeling that invokes. I am not doing what I want to do, I am doing what I am supposed to do, and it is a big sacrifice for me so be proud of me! We help each other through the misery of doing what we think we are supposed to do each day, while inside we are fantasizing about how good life could be if we really did what we wanted to do. I would wager you have friends that stay in a job they hate, so that they can "provide for their family". Meanwhile their mind drifts to what they wish they could do, or even worse drifts to an unhealthy lust of something they think they cannot have. How many affairs have started over a perception of sacrifice in real life, so the person thinks they deserve something for themselves.
We create this puritan view of life where we are miserable but proud. The victory over rules that is supposed to make us free instead is missed by our need to be a rules follower. I told my college Bible Study that if they are wanting to go to an R rated movie, really want to go badly, but instead take the martyr point of view of how much they are sacrificing not going, then go! Sit there and see if you feel like it is the right place to be, then stay or leave as you feel is right. But don't create a resentment of your Christian life by hating having to give up all the "good stuff".
In the movie "The Rookie", Dennis Quaid's character is torn between his feeling that he is supposed to be a baseball player, and the feelings of obligation to provide for his family as a teacher. His father tells him, sometimes you have to give up what you want to do in order to do what you are supposed to do. Quit being a dreamer! Fortunately for the movie, he doesn't take that advice and is successful with his dream, and in the process provides for his family. Is there sacrifice in the short term? Certainly. Is it worth it? Well you never know if you don't try.
As my family makes the sacrifices to allow me to follow my dream to build a business of helping others, I see both the pain of the sacrifice, and the freedom from guilt that no longer manifests itself at the end of the day when I come home too downtrodden to be a contributing part of family life. I would trade today's poor happiness for yesterday's comfortable misery any day!
This doesn't just apply to jobs, but to life in general. If you don't love your life you won't live it. You will just exist beside it, watching it burn away day after day. What is it you need to do to love your life?
As I conclude this, consider the following. Are there healthy desires? Can you actually feel drawn to something and that be a leading to something good and important that you should consider? Can you be led? Are you too burned out to feel anything hopeful? I certainly hope not.
August 4, 2011
Quick Thought on Wisdom - The truth in your mind
Proverbs 27:19 As water reflects your face, so your mind shows what kind of person you are.
This is so cool because it lives behind the mask. What are you thinking about right now? What were you thinking about a while ago? What are you likely to think about?
Your mind is the source of your character. We have been given the will to determine how and what we think. We are equipped for positive or negative thoughts, but the gravity of life pulls naturally toward thoughts that are self serving and self beneficial. We must actively work on our mind to build strength of character. This is not just beneficial in our conscious thinking day in and day out. This work prepares us for our reactions to external stimuli. The old adage garbage in garbage out is more true that we think. If we surround ourselves with selfish people that will build that momentum in us. If we watch violent or sexually explicit shows or movies, we build momentum toward that thinking.
Like a rock rolling down hill, these thoughts gather strength in affecting our character. They are sitting there waiting for the scantily clad young woman to walk by, or for our child to make a serious mistake. The thoughts that go through our mind will come out in our actions or words. Hurtful to our families, friends and reputation.
Is it worth the risk to not discipline our minds toward good things? Should we surround ourselves with positive people, and reduce our exposure to the negative and critical? Should we manage what we watch? Should we put in processes for reacting to our children or subordinates to give pause to our responses?
Perhaps. Worth thinking about at least?
This is so cool because it lives behind the mask. What are you thinking about right now? What were you thinking about a while ago? What are you likely to think about?
Your mind is the source of your character. We have been given the will to determine how and what we think. We are equipped for positive or negative thoughts, but the gravity of life pulls naturally toward thoughts that are self serving and self beneficial. We must actively work on our mind to build strength of character. This is not just beneficial in our conscious thinking day in and day out. This work prepares us for our reactions to external stimuli. The old adage garbage in garbage out is more true that we think. If we surround ourselves with selfish people that will build that momentum in us. If we watch violent or sexually explicit shows or movies, we build momentum toward that thinking.
Like a rock rolling down hill, these thoughts gather strength in affecting our character. They are sitting there waiting for the scantily clad young woman to walk by, or for our child to make a serious mistake. The thoughts that go through our mind will come out in our actions or words. Hurtful to our families, friends and reputation.
Is it worth the risk to not discipline our minds toward good things? Should we surround ourselves with positive people, and reduce our exposure to the negative and critical? Should we manage what we watch? Should we put in processes for reacting to our children or subordinates to give pause to our responses?
Perhaps. Worth thinking about at least?
