Goblins!!!!!
The Wise Wench smiled and opened the door. 'Your majesty wants something?' she said and stepped back knowingly.
The king was outside, astribe Cribmuncher, his resplendent noble riding pig, glorious with its train of living poultry. The king was in the process of beginning to knock and stopped. He dismounted, leaving Cribmuncher to nibble on some apples that had somehow been piled exactly where he was looking. The king entered, looking carefully about for traps, and said 'yes, I want some information' he looked at the table and Whippet with suspicion.
There was an awkward silence.
‘Yes, I know. I’m glad you answered my summons,’ said the Wise Wench. ‘Terror cake, great king?’ she added, handing him what was left on the plate. ‘Look, we’ve saved the best until last for you. The only one left is a representation of Longparts the Catastrophe Slowworm stylized in marzipan and tuna.’
The king looked at it dubiously but ate it anyway. ‘Your summons? I received no such summons. If I had, I wouldn’t have come.’ He smiled and crossed his arms theatrically.
‘I know, which is why I sent my message subliminally,’ answered the Wise Wench tartly.
‘Aha!’ said the king, ‘and that’s where you’re wrong, because I only just thought of coming here, and dashed onto my special evening pig to reach you. We galloped. It can’t have been more than not-many minutes since the idea of visiting you even came to me.’
Outside, Cribmuncher munched his apples whilst his escorting poultry pecked at the ground.
‘And what about the pictures of the moon?’ said the Wise Wench.
‘Pictures of the moon? Have you gone mad woman?’ The king smiled his most knowing smile.
‘Nope, you’ve been seeing them all day, and pictures of my cottage, and little corn dolls of me, lying subtly at the edges of your vision. And, I think you’ll recall, hearing my name whispered on the wind whilst you were suckling your favourite heifer as it was going dark tonight.’
The king scowled at her and went very red before shouting ‘how dare you summon me here without asking me!’ He recalled a number of other images and curious objects he’d seen today - a carved wooden parrot, a balloon with a mouse tails, an enormous badger made of pine cones. Damn the woman. The king looked over his shoulder wondering what else she might be making him do without him knowing.
The king was outside, astribe Cribmuncher, his resplendent noble riding pig, glorious with its train of living poultry. The king was in the process of beginning to knock and stopped. He dismounted, leaving Cribmuncher to nibble on some apples that had somehow been piled exactly where he was looking. The king entered, looking carefully about for traps, and said 'yes, I want some information' he looked at the table and Whippet with suspicion.
There was an awkward silence.
‘Yes, I know. I’m glad you answered my summons,’ said the Wise Wench. ‘Terror cake, great king?’ she added, handing him what was left on the plate. ‘Look, we’ve saved the best until last for you. The only one left is a representation of Longparts the Catastrophe Slowworm stylized in marzipan and tuna.’
The king looked at it dubiously but ate it anyway. ‘Your summons? I received no such summons. If I had, I wouldn’t have come.’ He smiled and crossed his arms theatrically.
‘I know, which is why I sent my message subliminally,’ answered the Wise Wench tartly.
‘Aha!’ said the king, ‘and that’s where you’re wrong, because I only just thought of coming here, and dashed onto my special evening pig to reach you. We galloped. It can’t have been more than not-many minutes since the idea of visiting you even came to me.’
Outside, Cribmuncher munched his apples whilst his escorting poultry pecked at the ground.
‘And what about the pictures of the moon?’ said the Wise Wench.
‘Pictures of the moon? Have you gone mad woman?’ The king smiled his most knowing smile.
‘Nope, you’ve been seeing them all day, and pictures of my cottage, and little corn dolls of me, lying subtly at the edges of your vision. And, I think you’ll recall, hearing my name whispered on the wind whilst you were suckling your favourite heifer as it was going dark tonight.’
The king scowled at her and went very red before shouting ‘how dare you summon me here without asking me!’ He recalled a number of other images and curious objects he’d seen today - a carved wooden parrot, a balloon with a mouse tails, an enormous badger made of pine cones. Damn the woman. The king looked over his shoulder wondering what else she might be making him do without him knowing.
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