He Ran the Farm When He Was Only 12!
Joseph Wagner was born on July 6, 1912 in Lake Zurich, Illinois to Eckhart Wagner and Klara Schwartz, both of whom were born in Germany. Eckhart came over with his father, and they eventually bought a dairy farm together near Lake Zurich. They sold milk and eggs in town, and at the end of the year, any extra spending money from the sale of the eggs was used for Christmas gifts. At some point, Eckhart was introduced to Klara Schwartz, and they married. They had five children: four girls and one boy, Joseph. Two of the girls died in childhood, and the other two died of cancer in their fifties.
As a young boy, Joseph nearly died as well. Apparently when he was seven or eight, he had a problem with his kidneys. The doctors advised him to refrain from eating meat for one year, though they didn’t really expected him to live that long. Somehow, Joseph was cured of whatever ailed him, however, and grew up strong and healthy. He attempted to attend school over the years, but was always being pulled out to work on the farm.
He was raised Lutheran, and it seemed that Eckhart and Klara were part of a very strict evangelical synod. They were very old-fashioned and did not approve of dancing, drinking or card-playing—beliefs that Joseph has likewise adhered to all his life, though he has fallen away from the church and now scorns any formal religion.
As much as Eckhart tried to be a farmer like his father, with whom he had purchased and started the farm, it is not a life he was suited to, nor did he enjoy. Joseph, however, like his grandfather, relished it, and when he was twelve years old, he got a chance to prove it. At that time, Eckhart fell very ill for an extended period of time, so Joseph ran the vast farm himself. He took on the responsibility of paying the bills, getting the milk to town, driving trucks and scheduling the many farm hands to do all of the chores and duties around the farm. He was very successful in his endeavor. Eventually, however, Eckhart got well enough to take back the reins. He became an alcoholic, though, and began to make many bad investments. Thus, when Joseph was seventeen, his father lost everything because of his irresponsibility. All their money and vast property seemed to evaporate in an instant.
Joseph was forced then to work as a hired hand on other farms. When the war broke out, he worked in factories and then got a job lifting mail bags on and off railroad cars. It was at about this time that he was introduced through a friend to Mildred Uthe, the youngest of thirteen children. The two fell in love and married and moved to a farm in Northbrook, where they lived with the couple who had introduced them and where Joseph could work on the side as a hired hand. Their first child, Irene, was born a year later, in 1944, and they then moved to Pensacola Avenue in Chicago, where Joseph has lived ever since.
Joseph worked for the railroad for over 30 years and was apparently a workaholic. The family never took a vacation because Joseph never wanted to be away from work for long. Sometimes they got free railroad tickets, so they would go on little weekend trips, but nothing more. If he did have free time, Joseph liked to garden and to read. He had an amazing memory and could recall anything, no matter how detailed.
Mildred, meanwhile, cared for Irene and then Alice when she came along in 1949. Alice was born with club feet and had to wear casts on her legs for a year. Then, when she was five and started school, it became apparent that she was “mildly retarded.” This crushed Joseph. He could not accept that his child was “abnormal,” and rejected her from that point on. Mildred and Irene had to completely care for her. It was because of Alice that Joseph then refused to have any social interactions, so ashamed was he of his daughter. He did not want anyone to see her, so he forbade Mildred from ever having friends or family over.
As previously stated, Joseph had fallen away from the Lutheran church and was highly skeptical of any organized religion. Mildred was Catholic, and she raised Irene and Alice as such, but Joseph refused to let them be part of any formal Catholic instruction. As adults, however, Irene took matters into her own hands and began the process of joining the Church for herself and Alice. After that, Joseph apparently relented a bit and agreed to have his marriage to Mildred blessed.
Joseph continued working until he was forced to retire from the railroad when he was 68 in 1981. He couldn’t handle all of the idle time, however, and slipped into a deep depression. He was hospitalized for two weeks, during which time he was given electric shock treatments. When he was released to come home, he had forgotten everything and Mildred and the girls had to teach him how to do everything all over again. He remained in a “zombie-like” state for over a year before he began to come out of it.
In 1983, however, Mildred was diagnosed with leukemia, and again, Joseph couldn’t handle it. He refused to believe that she was ill and never once went to the hospital to see her. On May 10, 1985, Mildred died at home with Irene tending her. Joseph refused to believe that she was dead for about six months, constantly asking for her. This was particularly painful for Irene, who then had to relive her mother’s death all over again each time she had to explain it to Joseph.
Joseph, Irene and Alice continued living in the same house on Pensacola until the mid-1990’s when Joseph’s health began to decline severely. He became too weak to walk or to even get out of bed. Also, his mood swings and outbursts were increasing, so Irene finally took him to a hospital, where he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and dementia. From there, Irene arranged for him to go to a nursing home, though it was with much guilt and a heavy heart.
Irene visits him as often as she can, which is difficult considering the fact that she still has Alice at home to care for. The sight of Alice seems to rile Joseph, so Irene tries to leave her at home in the care of a neighbor when she visits. Joseph remains very confused and disoriented. He has not made any relationships with the other residents and seems to get the most enjoyment from reading the paper or watching baseball on TV. Only once in a while does he still ask for Mildred.
Originally written: September 1994
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