Is there a god?!

“Is there a god”
- No, there isn’t.

I suppose I should expand on that and I think it’s very cute that you keep asking me that. Typically, most beings grow out of having an imaginary friend once they’ve created fire and realize that whomever they’ve been talking to all those years is not in fact there.



Now, I don’t want all of you to start thinking of me as a God either. Sure, I guess in your eyes I could seem kind of Godlike. I’m pretty smart, kind of a funny fucker and quite handsome. I have been looking over you all these billions of years to make sure you don’t bugger everything up and I’ve given a few of you a little insight along the way to speed things up… but I’m not a God.

Consider me more of a fun CEO of earth or perhaps a handsome, sexy and fun president that you’d like to have a beer with. I’m more than happy to help you along in your evolution but it would be really nice if I could start getting the credit for some of this.

So, moving forward perhaps you could change some of your little sayings to the following;

“Phil dammit” when your pissed off.

“Phil bless you” when someone sneezes or just

“Phil!” as an expression of surprise or astonishment.



You’ll find me far more willing to help all of you if I get a little acknowledment now and then.

However, feel free to continue to believe whatever it is you want to believe. Just try and be a kind and decent race no matter what your different beliefs may be and you know what? It still couldn’t hurt to give me a little “ Thanks Phil” now and then even if you don’t believe me. After all… you never know.