Ode to Beta Readers

How in the world would an author survive

Without the benevolence of this mind-hive?

You’re the best best that could ever be best.

The kindly friends who read in advance

All the terrible words we thought, perchance

May somehow a story derive.

Oh with such patience they read through our prose!

And gently all the plot holes help us to close

With a generous reading of our every word

Nary a complaint to be seen or heard

As they love our hero and their foes.

What? No, you fools! Are you f***cking blind?

I couldn’t in a million years cut that line!

Sure, to you it doesn’t make sense

Or is it just me? Just me?

And sure, it might certainly read as quite dense

But I assure you that was by design.

No, don’t you see why I need this part?

It’s where the hero unburdens his heart!

Speaking of which, I think mine is breaking

Each red-line remark a part of me taking

Indeed, I’m coming apart.

FINE, I guess what you said’s kinda true

I guess I just needed another point of view

And I guess this joke’s kinda funnier now

And the pacing is sharper–holy cow

Okay! Go on! You do you!

Say what? You liked it! Oh, thank God!

I thought for sure you thought me a clod.

No, you were right, darling, of course

No one wanted seven pages of discourse

On the exact implications of a nod.

Beta readers! Healers, and sowers of strife!

You hone our thoughts like a stone does a knife

Even though your words render us low

So, too, do they cause us upwards to grow

Bringing our stories to life.