The Auto-Sarcasmatron

(Online, how do you roll your eyes?)

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In case you were wondering, it’s tarantula mating season again. You can tell because the male tarantulas are making a huge racket in the woods, rubbing the fur off their antlers. That, and the sharp uptick in sales of arachnid Hallmark cards. (“I only have eight eyes for you”)

Well, of course I made that up. Spiders can’t buy Hallmark cards, or anything else, because they don’t have any pockets.

What you just read is what is known as sarcasm. O...