A little dab will do 'ya...
I am going to let you in on a little secret. Even though I majored in public speaking as an undergraduate because I was given this GIFT OF GAB, it doesn’t mean that I didn’t get a little anxious before going on stage.
When I sang in my high school or church girl’s trio or solo, I had butterflies and sometimes my voice cracked and I couldn’t sing well. Before I went on stage for a drama performance, I was nervous and my strong voice was unusually quieter. When I competed in some pageant, I threw up. Yes – tossed my cookies. While hovering over the toilet, I would hold my beautiful gown back with one hand and my hair with the other and give into my nerves.
But eventually over time, I got a little better. My inspiring CO-TEACHER friend (from my SAK books) and I conducted many regional and state Gifted conferences and even one national Gifted Conference during our 8 years of teaching together. There were two of us so no one was looking directly at me! She would speak while I prepped something then I would talk while she coordinated something for the next segment and we were never speaking alone, really. While preparing for our next individual speaking moment, we would interject something relevant here and there while the other performed. Neither of us minded. It really took the stress off of carrying the conference sessions by ourselves.
I became more comfortable leading a group of 20, 50, or even hundreds.
Then the money ran out. The county we worked for couldn’t afford to send us to share our lesson plans or conduct these workshops any longer and I got out of the habit of being comfortable while public speaking.
Two close friends died pretty soon after these educational speaking engagements stopped. But I was still known as someone who wouldn’t mind speaking before crowds. No, I didn’t mind. But giving a eulogy? I mean, all eyes were on me. There were no handouts to divert the attention away from the speaker (me) like at the conferences. There was no candy to throw into the audience to keep them engaged with all our infotainment. There was no overhead projector for power points to have them watch while we were talking. I was alone.
And nervous. This was a serious moment. I had to come up with something to get me through this.
I have this specialty concoction that I use on general occasions when I want to be the belle of the ball. It’s called: SCOTCH. I take 2 shots. Neat. I am not a real fan of Scotch. It doesn’t taste good (until the second one) and that makes it hard to swallow. But I tell you, even if I don’t like it very much, it sure likes me. It must be because of my Scottish DNA. I mean, I am the darling at the party AND at the funerals. Yes, yours truly took her nerve medicine BEFORE she gave those eulogies. It just calmed me and made me relaxed enough to get the job done. And WHERE did I take those 2 shots? Well, I used to drink those double airplane miniatures in my car after I parked in the church parking lot. Away from people. I would get there a little early, park far away, and down those suckers. I was chilled and in a good frame of mind when it was my turn to speak (for such a sad situation) that after it was all over people came up to me saying how entertaining I was. I was worried that I might be called on to be the “go to” person when someone needed a speaker for funerals…that people were going to start calling me up and that I was going to have to get an agent. I was a hit because I always talked about the celebration of the person’s life and made it more upbeat. And the Scotch did the talking. Right?
Now I am speaking at author engagements. And guess what? To take the edge off in the beginning, I began using the recommended dosage of my nerve medicine. It allowed me to be my uninhibited comical self. But I no longer needed to sit in a parking lot to down the elixirs. Those little DEWAR’s miniatures went into the buildings with me. WHAT? Well, when you have size D bra cups they didn’t fall out. Then, all it took was a bathroom trip. It all sounds very clandestine. Well, it was!
Yes, go ahead. Be shocked! But I know what you are thinking. You are glad YOU weren’t the one giving the speech or the eulogy. Jerry Seinfeld, my idol, said that according to a poll he read, the #1 fear of people is public speaking. Am I right? So, he continues…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQ6gi...
Don't judge me now.
When I sang in my high school or church girl’s trio or solo, I had butterflies and sometimes my voice cracked and I couldn’t sing well. Before I went on stage for a drama performance, I was nervous and my strong voice was unusually quieter. When I competed in some pageant, I threw up. Yes – tossed my cookies. While hovering over the toilet, I would hold my beautiful gown back with one hand and my hair with the other and give into my nerves.
But eventually over time, I got a little better. My inspiring CO-TEACHER friend (from my SAK books) and I conducted many regional and state Gifted conferences and even one national Gifted Conference during our 8 years of teaching together. There were two of us so no one was looking directly at me! She would speak while I prepped something then I would talk while she coordinated something for the next segment and we were never speaking alone, really. While preparing for our next individual speaking moment, we would interject something relevant here and there while the other performed. Neither of us minded. It really took the stress off of carrying the conference sessions by ourselves.
I became more comfortable leading a group of 20, 50, or even hundreds.
Then the money ran out. The county we worked for couldn’t afford to send us to share our lesson plans or conduct these workshops any longer and I got out of the habit of being comfortable while public speaking.
Two close friends died pretty soon after these educational speaking engagements stopped. But I was still known as someone who wouldn’t mind speaking before crowds. No, I didn’t mind. But giving a eulogy? I mean, all eyes were on me. There were no handouts to divert the attention away from the speaker (me) like at the conferences. There was no candy to throw into the audience to keep them engaged with all our infotainment. There was no overhead projector for power points to have them watch while we were talking. I was alone.
And nervous. This was a serious moment. I had to come up with something to get me through this.
I have this specialty concoction that I use on general occasions when I want to be the belle of the ball. It’s called: SCOTCH. I take 2 shots. Neat. I am not a real fan of Scotch. It doesn’t taste good (until the second one) and that makes it hard to swallow. But I tell you, even if I don’t like it very much, it sure likes me. It must be because of my Scottish DNA. I mean, I am the darling at the party AND at the funerals. Yes, yours truly took her nerve medicine BEFORE she gave those eulogies. It just calmed me and made me relaxed enough to get the job done. And WHERE did I take those 2 shots? Well, I used to drink those double airplane miniatures in my car after I parked in the church parking lot. Away from people. I would get there a little early, park far away, and down those suckers. I was chilled and in a good frame of mind when it was my turn to speak (for such a sad situation) that after it was all over people came up to me saying how entertaining I was. I was worried that I might be called on to be the “go to” person when someone needed a speaker for funerals…that people were going to start calling me up and that I was going to have to get an agent. I was a hit because I always talked about the celebration of the person’s life and made it more upbeat. And the Scotch did the talking. Right?
Now I am speaking at author engagements. And guess what? To take the edge off in the beginning, I began using the recommended dosage of my nerve medicine. It allowed me to be my uninhibited comical self. But I no longer needed to sit in a parking lot to down the elixirs. Those little DEWAR’s miniatures went into the buildings with me. WHAT? Well, when you have size D bra cups they didn’t fall out. Then, all it took was a bathroom trip. It all sounds very clandestine. Well, it was!
Yes, go ahead. Be shocked! But I know what you are thinking. You are glad YOU weren’t the one giving the speech or the eulogy. Jerry Seinfeld, my idol, said that according to a poll he read, the #1 fear of people is public speaking. Am I right? So, he continues…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQ6gi...
Don't judge me now.
No comments have been added yet.
