Have A Laugh On Me

Recently,
I went into one of those discount massage parlors.It turned out to be self serve!
Then I met this hooker on a street corner.She told me she had a headache!If it wasn't for the guy who just pick-pocketed me,I'd have no sex life at all!I blame it all on my upbringing when I was a child.When I took my first step,
my Dad tripped me!When I was born,
the doctor slapped my Mom!Then,
I think I was still a virgin at the age of thirty-three,I was making love to this girl I was dating
and she started crying.I asked,
"Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?"She said,
"No, I hate myself now!"One night I thought I was going to get really lucky.I had these two girls in my car
and they both scream at the same time,
"Stop here!"Right next to the International House of Pancakes was a Motel 6.We went inside,
and I had to pay for two
"Rooty Tooty Fresh N Fruity"
meals!Then I started dating this girl who was half-black.She dumped me because she said I was prejudiced.In a sweet moment,
I called her half-white! When I got married,
I asked my wife if I could give her a Goodnight kiss on her cheek.She bent over!Still,
I believe,
in this World,
every person has a soul mate.And if I ever find mine,
my wife will kill her!I did meet a famous Politician once.I met the Surgeon General,
and he offered me a cigarette!People say I look a lot younger than I really am.That's because I act so immature!

This is,
Wishing Everyone Has A Good Laugh This Sunday,
Jim Hauenstein,

And,


 “Reality continues to ruin my life.” - Bill Watterson -

That is my story and I'm sticking to it!
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Some of you will have noticed this is a reprint of "Just Joking Around." A June 15th, 2015 Post I wrote. I think it is one of my funniest Post I have written so I feel it does need repeating. Thank you for reading.