Effing Feline gains weight
Fart-Fueled Flying Feline, Effing for short, writes the Weekend Writing Warrior / Sunday Snippet posts on Mr. V’s behalf
I, Effing Feline, post this weekly column on behalf of my pet human, Ed Hoornaert, aka Mr Valentine. Mr V has been away at the RWA writers conference, but that’s all right with me. The huge self-service supply of food he left more than makes up for his absence. Yum!
Today’s snippet continues from Thimbleriggers, a story in Future Love, Mr V’s new release. Young pornographer Aldous is using a device — the ‘breadbox’ — to record the memories of 90-year-old Kathy’s youthful love affair. (Edited slightly from the published version to fit the 10-sentence limit.) If you’re under 18, read no further!
The previous snippet ended with this line: The boy’s touch on Kathy’s virgin breasts excited Aldous — and yet the him that was watching became more furious than aroused.
Nonetheless, he didn’t remove the helmet. Not when the boy’s lips replaced his hands, making Kathy weak-kneed and wet, not even when she rubbed the front of his pants for the first time ever. She was sorry she wasn’t able to see what really happened when he shuddered under her touch.
With trembling hands, Aldous removed the helmet and looked down. He’d creamed his pants without ever touching himself.
He needed to turn the damned breadbox down. Kathy Hall was full-blast sexy and so damned loyal that her first love had lasted over seventy years—and a man could fall in love with a woman like that. Aldous leaned forward and touched the dial.
But without turning down the volume, he put the helmet back on. Too good this way, too good.
Effing Feline here again. If any of you are pet owner, do you know if it’s okay for a cat to gain 9.4 pounds in one week?
Be sure to visit the other Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sundays posts.
Future Love
Now available at the special introductory price of just 99c
With Mr V gone, I’m not going to bother with an ad for his book.That’s what he gets for leaving me.


