A Guest
I am a guest in this life, and the rules are simple:
Treat the house you are in as if it were your home (with respect);
Treat your hosts as if they were your family (and you love them);
Treat your food as if it is your first meal after a long and hard journey (and delicious);
Clothe yourself to reflect the expectations of your hosts (yes, I know, but when in Rome . . .);
Don’t swear, blaspheme, lose your temper or throw a tanty;
Don’t use physical violence or the threat of such;
Don’t force words or physical affections on others;
Don’t break the rules of the society you are residing in.
A person with a reasonable expectation of these rules would be broken-hearted, wouldn’t they, if they could see what really happens in the world?
When a young adult comes to visit, sits at the table with the e-gadgets, responds with grunts and mumbles and disappears as soon as possible – without any words of . . . (what? As an adult, I would say words of apology, or excuse, or reason – but I am no longer young, and cannot expect the young I meet today to have the social sameness of my youth);
When a young child comes to visit, opens every cupboard, pores through the fridge and pantry, drags out dozens of items and empties the contents all over the place – what should I do? What should I say? The parent/s say nothing, do nothing, treat it as if this is the way it always is.
The rules of my life no longer apply.
The rules of the new world are here.
What are they? I’m in the dark. Don’t know how to respond appropriately to young people, children, or the adults who accompany them.
Should I do what my parents would have done? No, because they would have told the children to go outside and make a mess out there, and then would have chastised the parent as if they had the right to chastise anyone younger than them. And is it still safe to play outside?
Should I do what my peers would do? No, because they would roll their eyes and use body language to express their dissatisfaction with the situation, their disdain for the parents/young adults/children in words that can cut as deeply and permanently as a knife – a blunt knife.
Should I do what the parents do? No, because they have not done what it takes to earn the respect of their offspring – they only tread the ground as a provider, not as a mentor/advisor. Children need more than that. Structure, boundaries, security, CONNECTION to the whole.
Should I do what is right? And what is right? For that particular child, in that particular situation, at that particular time? And how will I know what is right? Right by whose standards? Mine? I don’t know the rules of society as they stand at the moment (and they change every day). I don’t know what to do . . . do you?
What am I going to do? This is what I will do:
Treat every person I meet with a level of ‘equal-ness’ – respect and openness, pleasure and interest, courtesy and joy. Because this is what I would like from other people, this is what I will offer the people I meet – ALL the people I meet, regardless of age, gender, social situation, employment situation, location, eye-colour, foot-size, etc. etc. etc. I can only hope that you will do the same. Please, CONNECT with the people around you – all of them. We reflect –
