Why I Write M/M Stories & A Big Shout Out
A friend recently asked me why I write m/m stories and the question really set my mind to thinking. Oh, not because I don't know why, but I wondered why it made a difference.
I read male/male almost exclusively these days, though a good het will draw my attention for sure. I've written several hets and I love them, one and all, however, I am continually drawn to the m/m genre because of something quite fundamental in me - I detest male bashing and have embrace equality in all its forms.
There is a tendency in het stories for the male to be characterized as some kind of dog who can't keep it in his pants long enough to conduct his work day. The wife or girl friend is hurt (as she should be) and proceeds to make the poor bastard pay for the rest of his natural born days, UNTIL some epiphany occurs and she sees the error of her ways, and all is forgiven - that is until she feels it's right to bring it up again. And the cycle continues.
Okay, that description might be more a real life scenario than in books, but I'm sure it exists and since I'm writing this, I will generalize. LOL
My answer to my friend was this:
Because I believe in love in all forms and I think males have not gotten a fair deal. I hate male bashing, DETEST it and too many books are about the male who is poorly, made to feel stupid, less a man - be it for some indiscretion or whatever the poor schlub thoughtlessly did.
I love creating two strong men who can deal with each other on a plane of equal footing and come out the other side better for it, without the histrionics.
Lofty thinking? I don't think so. Humanity being what it is, we all tend to hold our anger in. It is, however, in forgiveness that we grow. "That's easy for me to say," you say? No, it isn't. Been there, done that and found a life without the guy, but, I've never bashed him, save for at the time, and that was to his two-timing face. We're friends today and I swear, I haven't thought of that incident(s) in years.
Men deal with each other in ways I can truly admire, and while I love women and being one, I think there is something in our DNA that makes us think we are entitled to better treatment than men are. That "Princess" thing maybe. I even know a woman who, when finished "dealing" with her husband, sends him to his room. Why marry a man only to treat him like a child?
The m/m stories I love depict a relationship between two strong people - keyword here - who cut through the crap and get to the meat of what makes them both tick. They appreciate the qualities of the other and don't get hung up on the minutia. They realize that life is short, why get bogged down?
Men are thinking creatures, and enter into relationships for as many reasons as their het counterparts. I love knowing all the reasons and even creating a few of my own along the way.
I love learning about what people think and why they are who they are. Male/male stories by authors like Ava March, Bryl Tyne and Aleksandr Voinov answer questions I didn't even know to ask. I mention these authors because they are my favorites, but there are many more who write real men - those are the ones I want to read about.
It wasn't such a stretch for me to write m/m and after some discussion with Aleks and Bryl, I made the conscious decision to write my guys as human beings first, save for my vamps, and even there, I treated them as human first.
All people have emotions, feelings, opinions and thoughts. I approach my guys that way, always, never losing sight of the fact that just because they are plumbed differently than I am, they are as human as I am and entitled to the same respect, in life and literarily.
I love men, been married to one for a long time. As I write my stories about strong men, I try to always include their vulnerabilities, but they never succumb to bashing in getting their point across to each other.
Conversely, my women NEVER bash their men. I don't do it in life and I couldn't write a women who did it, I'd absolutely hate her.
Advances in the public interest have me buoyed. With states like New York, my home state, making same sex marriage legal (and it's about time folks) and just today, Connecticut's governor signing into law transgender protections, I am proud to be a person who has thought these things should be givens. I wish like hell it was in people's minds, instead of something that needs to be legislated.
A big Whoot! to New York and Connecticut and I can only hope more states will fall into line.
Hugs,
Till next time
Brita
I read male/male almost exclusively these days, though a good het will draw my attention for sure. I've written several hets and I love them, one and all, however, I am continually drawn to the m/m genre because of something quite fundamental in me - I detest male bashing and have embrace equality in all its forms.
There is a tendency in het stories for the male to be characterized as some kind of dog who can't keep it in his pants long enough to conduct his work day. The wife or girl friend is hurt (as she should be) and proceeds to make the poor bastard pay for the rest of his natural born days, UNTIL some epiphany occurs and she sees the error of her ways, and all is forgiven - that is until she feels it's right to bring it up again. And the cycle continues.
Okay, that description might be more a real life scenario than in books, but I'm sure it exists and since I'm writing this, I will generalize. LOL
My answer to my friend was this:
Because I believe in love in all forms and I think males have not gotten a fair deal. I hate male bashing, DETEST it and too many books are about the male who is poorly, made to feel stupid, less a man - be it for some indiscretion or whatever the poor schlub thoughtlessly did.
I love creating two strong men who can deal with each other on a plane of equal footing and come out the other side better for it, without the histrionics.
Lofty thinking? I don't think so. Humanity being what it is, we all tend to hold our anger in. It is, however, in forgiveness that we grow. "That's easy for me to say," you say? No, it isn't. Been there, done that and found a life without the guy, but, I've never bashed him, save for at the time, and that was to his two-timing face. We're friends today and I swear, I haven't thought of that incident(s) in years.
Men deal with each other in ways I can truly admire, and while I love women and being one, I think there is something in our DNA that makes us think we are entitled to better treatment than men are. That "Princess" thing maybe. I even know a woman who, when finished "dealing" with her husband, sends him to his room. Why marry a man only to treat him like a child?
The m/m stories I love depict a relationship between two strong people - keyword here - who cut through the crap and get to the meat of what makes them both tick. They appreciate the qualities of the other and don't get hung up on the minutia. They realize that life is short, why get bogged down?
Men are thinking creatures, and enter into relationships for as many reasons as their het counterparts. I love knowing all the reasons and even creating a few of my own along the way.
I love learning about what people think and why they are who they are. Male/male stories by authors like Ava March, Bryl Tyne and Aleksandr Voinov answer questions I didn't even know to ask. I mention these authors because they are my favorites, but there are many more who write real men - those are the ones I want to read about.
It wasn't such a stretch for me to write m/m and after some discussion with Aleks and Bryl, I made the conscious decision to write my guys as human beings first, save for my vamps, and even there, I treated them as human first.
All people have emotions, feelings, opinions and thoughts. I approach my guys that way, always, never losing sight of the fact that just because they are plumbed differently than I am, they are as human as I am and entitled to the same respect, in life and literarily.
I love men, been married to one for a long time. As I write my stories about strong men, I try to always include their vulnerabilities, but they never succumb to bashing in getting their point across to each other.
Conversely, my women NEVER bash their men. I don't do it in life and I couldn't write a women who did it, I'd absolutely hate her.
Advances in the public interest have me buoyed. With states like New York, my home state, making same sex marriage legal (and it's about time folks) and just today, Connecticut's governor signing into law transgender protections, I am proud to be a person who has thought these things should be givens. I wish like hell it was in people's minds, instead of something that needs to be legislated.
A big Whoot! to New York and Connecticut and I can only hope more states will fall into line.
Hugs,
Till next time
Brita
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