What We Mothers Can Learn from Fathers About Self-Care
Earlier this week, on MomTalk LA —a show usually hosted by the lovely Dr. Nelly Farnoody, on Andisheh TV, I had the honor of interviewing a visionary and transformational teacher, counselor, and inspirational speaker, Suzi Lula. I was really impressed with the message of her upcoming book (which launches on September 22), The Motherhood Evolution, How Thriving Mothers Raise Thriving Children. Here are her share-worthy insights:
I so loved continuing the rich conversation about self-care with Roma as her special guest blogger for this Father’s Day post! Thank you, Roma! —Suzi Lula
WHAT WE MOTHERS CAN LEARN FROM FATHERS ABOUT SELF-CARE
When our son was young and my husband and I were in that sleep-deprived state, I remember times when he’d take a 20-minute nap in the afternoon.
“WHAT?”I would mentally shout out. “You’re taking a what? A nap? Seriously?” Perhaps you’ve had a similar reaction at times in your life.
I couldn’t understand how my husband could so easily rest—and in the middle of the day at that! I was exhausted and overwhelmed and felt resentful that he would take care of himself in such a carefree manner. Yet, sure enough, 20 minutes later, he would return refreshed and restored. I’d witness him patient, joyful, kind, and connected with me and with our son. And I’d still be exhausted, overwhelmed, and, now, resentful on top of it all!
I began to ask myself why I would be so upset with someone for taking the time to take care of himself.
I realized that I’d been indoctrinated by our culture to believe that self-sacrifice would make me a “good” mother. However, running on empty certainly wasn’t making me the mother I longed to be in my heart or the mother that my son needed me to be.
I watched my husband take care of himself and transform his exhaustion into patience, kindness, joy, and connection. He was certainly more connected and less frazzled than I was.
We have many things that we can learn from fathers, self-care being one of them.
It’s time for us to turn away from outdated societal rules about what it means to be a good mother. It’s time to turn away from messages that tell us that the road to good mothering is paved with sacrifice and deprivation. I’m the mother I seek to be when I am vital and alive with inspiration, emotional equanimity, and joy.
All parents want to have close connections and relationships with our children. All children want to be connected to their parents.
May we all learn to restore ourselves, nourish our spirits, ask for what we need, and receive the good that is available to us. We are not here to sacrifice for the sake of our children. We are here to thrive for the sake of our children.
When our children see us thriving, we give them permission to do the same.
Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers whom we learn from every day!
Learn more about Suzi from our MomTalk LA interview:
Madar Va Koodak 06-15-16 – مادر و کودک – Andisheh TV from AndishehTV on Vimeo.
The post What We Mothers Can Learn from Fathers About Self-Care appeared first on Tools of Growth.
